It sucks when your grandkid is in the middle of a nasty custody battle. You want the best for your offspring’s offspring, and you probably believe your kid’s a better parent than the loser s/he’s bickering with over time and responsibility. Unfortunately, shooting that loser’s parents in a parking lot dispute pretty much ensures your kid won’t be winning the custody battle. What was Samuel Noe thinking?
The maternal grandfather of a 10-year-old boy at the center of a custody dispute fatally shot the boy’s paternal grandparents during an argument after watching him play baseball, authorities said yesterday.
Some helpful rules for folks who might be interested in setting a good example for their grandkids and/or the courts:
Rule #1: Don’t bring a gun to a little league game. I know the umpires suck, but they don’t suck that bad, and it’s a foregone conclusion that any appearance made by the gun for any reason will cause the minor in question to need more than a little therapy. Best to leave the 9 millie at home.
Rule #2: Don’t kill people, especially family members. Okay, so you brought the gun to the game. The last thing you want to do is use it to kill, say, your grandkid’s other set of grandparents. This make it hard to explain why your child has the better home environment for your grandkid. Once again, that grandkid will probably be traumatized, and s/he just might hold that against you, which could make Christmas pretty awkward.
Then, Samuel L. Noe, 61, was fatally wounded while wrestling with three onlookers trying to disarm him. Among them was the boy’s father, Jerry B. “Brent” Shands, 39, who also was shot in the struggle, District Attorney General Jimmy Dunn said.
Rule #3: Admit your mistake. Okay, so you’ve killed his/her other grandparents. You immediately let go of the gun. It’s probably best to just get on the ground with your hands behind your head, too. You definitely do not want to keep struggling and shoot the grandkid’s other parent and yourself.
Noe’s wife, Patricia Noe, who also attended the game, may have sparked the confrontation when she said something to Jerry Shands and pointed an umbrella at him, Dunn confirmed.
“Then, of course, he says, ‘Get that blankety-blank thing out of my face.’ … And the next thing you hear is pop, pop, pop (from Noe’s gun).”
Rule #4: Have a good reason for mass murder. Okay, you’ve killed a lot of people your grandkid probably loves. This should only be done because a) they were vampires with designs on killing the grandkid, b) they were zombies with designs on killing the grandkid, or c) your son or daughter married into the Hitler family. Short of that level of seriousness, you probably don’t have a leg to stand on.
Three grandparents are dead, a father remains in serious condition, and the child was present for the entire event, probably in his little league uni.
Check, please.
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