when the status quo frustrates.

Football show pluggery ahoy

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

Hey punkasses! So, uh, I guess I really like football, because I’ve made yet another show about it. Draftguys TV profiles over 40 players who’ll be selected by the NFL in April, giving football fans access to exclusive interviews, practice footage, expert opinions from Russ Lande of the Sporting News, and more. We’re focusing on the guys who are flying under the radar at this time of year but could become household names once they get a chance to make their mark.

For me, this was a whole ‘nother level of challenge. I’m the producer, director, co-writer, editor, and cinematographer, which has translated into some insane work weeks so far in ‘08. We’ll be releasing 51 episodes between now and the end of April, so I’ll continue to be a little erratic here at PAB, but soon this show will be done and I’ll be back to ranting and raving with regularity.

In the meantime, anyone who likes football should check out our shows at ON Networks or here.

The introduction to Draftguys TV:

A profile of Appalachian State’s star WR Dexter Jackson:

And feisty Rutgers DT Eric Foster:

Thanks for checking it out, and if you liked what you saw, please pass it on to your friends and check the ON Networks site for 2 new profiles every weekday.

I’m a Man

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

Several weeks ago, Oklahoma State head football coach Mike Gundy had an epic YouTube Hall of Fame meltdown at a press conference. Despite having just pulled out a tough win, he was upset over an article written about the benching of his QB. Here’s the rant:

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Oh, and did I mention that the article he was spazzing over was written by a woman? Kinda sheds an even uglier light on some of those comments.

Anyway, the unintentionally hilarious assholery insipred me to mash it up. Enjoy!

I’m a Man by Mike Gundy and Survivor

I’m officially a member of the fourth estate

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

Now when I rip the bejeepers out of the mainstream media, I’ll be flogging myself, because I’ve just received my second-ever official media credential. This time, I’m heading to the NFL Draft, which is not an easy credential to acquire:

[My After Effects skills are improving, though I still make things a little "busy," huh?]

2006 NFL Draft analysis in picture form

Monday, December 11th, 2006


#1 pick Mario Williams (90) demonstrates his worth against #3 pick Vince Young (10).

When it comes to football, bold is beautiful

Monday, December 11th, 2006

More often than not, the right choice is a bold choice. Problem is, only one bold choice is usually the right choice, and while it’s easy to see which choices are bold, it can be pretty hard to figure out which one of those is right. Thus, most people opt for a safe choice — something neither wrong nor particularly right.

This happens in all walks of life, and particularly in the high stakes world of pro football.

After the NFL draft in April, I wrote a post titled Dumbest Texans Around, a label applied to Houston Texans owner Bob McNair and then-GM Charley Casserly. Staring them down in the draft were two franchise-making players: a sure-fire offensive star in RB Reggie Bush and the biggest football hero at any level in Texas, Longhorn QB Vince Young. To make matters more interesting, they had the option to walk away from their underhwelming current QB, David Carr, with no salary cap penalty.

Reggie Bush felt like a can’t-miss selection, but Young would’ve been the bold choice. After they passed on both for defensive lineman Mario Williams, I wrote:

The only hope McNair’s team would ever have of passing the Cowboys in state importance lay in the possibility of Vince Young finding stardom in a Texans uni. Houston-born and raised, the kid is already a folk hero there, and building around him would have bought the team eternal loyalty from hundreds of thousands of locals.

And:

Young will be taking snaps for Tennessee — you might remember them from such franchises as the Houston Oilers. Should Young make the Pro Bowl in the traitorous Titans jersey, Bob McNair might as well fold up his retractable roof stadium and head for the hills; the locals will never let him live it down.

After a record-setting comeback 2 weeks ago and another last-second comeback against the 10-1 Colts last week, Vince hit the trifecta Sunday by coming home to Houston and running away with a victory in front of a very pro-Vince Texans crowd. I say “running away” because the man took off for a breath-taking 39-yard game-winning TD scamper on 3rd and 14 in overtime:
superman

The worst fear of the Texans has been realized, and it’s happened sooner than expected. Along with Drew Brees (another Texas high school product, by the way), Vince Young is the hottest QB in football. His scintillating performances have left other players, coaches, and beat writers using the kinds of superlatives reserved for athletes like Magic Johnson — those unorthodox, once-in-a-generation talents who change the game while inspiring teammates to raise their play to another level.

Young will torture the Texans for years. He plays in the same division. He plays for the team that deserted Houston. He signifies everything the Texans franchise lacks, including inspiring leadership and game-breaking talent. And maybe Tony Romo’s catching up, but I bet VY is still the most popular football player among Texas residents. If you need evidence, look at what the Texans’ best player, WR Andre Johnson, just said about Young:

I mean, when I first got here, I heard about Vince and couldn’t wait to meet him myself. He’s a star here.

It would’ve been difficult for the Texans to dump the QB they’d been grooming since the franchise’s launch to draft Vince Young. If Young bombed out and Carr became a capable QB for another team, the team would’ve been humiliated. But anyone who’d observed Vince Young’s psychological impact on the previously soft and scared Longhorns should’ve been able to see precisely why he was more than the bold choice; he was the right choice.

Young’s inspirational x-factor has always been underappreciated by the football punditry. That’s probably because there’s really no comparison in his sport. Honestly, other than maybe Joe Namath for a single game, has any other football player ever made his teammates feel as invincible as Vince’s?

At every level, VY’s teams have played with absolute certainty they will win the game. His joke-cracking in the huddle, his exhilarating play, and his difficult-to-replicate cocktail of humility and confidence transformed the Longhorns from underachievers into winners of the most exciting college football championship game in modern history. Now, in 10 NFL starts, he’s turned a talent-light Titans squad into the scariest team on anyone’s schedule.

As silly as it might seem, Vince Young inspires me, too. Whenever I watch him make another improbable game-altering play, a giddy, irrational optimism washes over me. Anything seems possible. I’m like a wide-eyed, hope-filled kid again, and I honestly didn’t know I could ever feel that way as an adult. Maybe I should feel that way about someone more important than a football player, but I can’t help myself.

The Texans landed a solid defensive end with the #1 selection in the 2006 draft. Twice a year in person (and every day in the division standings) for the next decade, Texas Football Jesus will never let them forget it.

Ali and rap

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

Sports fans have probably already seen the article on ESPN, but music fans take note: Chuck Klosterman has some fascinating commentary on hip hop, the media, and Muhammed Ali.

I love it when a piece that, by all accounts, should be nothing more than synergistic network propaganda (ESPN is airing a doc called “Ali Rap”) turns out to be far more provocative than the event it’s promoting.

The legend of Vince

Monday, November 27th, 2006

Sound familiar, Longhorns?

Fans hugged and cheered, throwing popcorn into the air and their arms around one another. On the field and in the locker room there were similar scenes of celebration.

After pulling off perhaps one of the most improbable victories in NFL history, the Titans and their fans had the feeling that maybe they’ve finally gotten over the hump.

I had the pleasure of watching Vince’s unprecedented 24-point 4th quarter that led to the Titans’ 24-21 upset over the Giants. Deja vu doesn’t even begin to capture the sensation I felt as I watched him grab a game’s momentum by the throat and force it to bend to his will. Although with VY, it usually feels more like a dance; he calmly and smoothly seduces the game into submission.

It was the biggest comeback by a rookie quarterback in NFL history, passing Hall of Famer John Elway, who led the Broncos from a 19-0 deficit to beat the Colts 21-19 in 1983.

Young passed for 249 yards and ran for 69. He cheered the fans who stuck around — many left after three quarters — before heading to the locker room to get intravenous fluids for cramping.

“It’s a sneak peek of what’s going to happen, not just with me, but with this team in general,” he said.

“It’s a sneak peek of how our future can be if we just continue to play hard and keep working to get to the point we want to be.”

Why not believe him? He’s done it before, and you get the distinct (if previously improbable) sense his presence, determination, and leadership will have the same effect on this NFL franchise as it did on his college team.

Speaking of those Longhorns, they sure look lost without him all of a sudden, don’t they? Maybe Vince Young really did bring all the mojo they used to win a title. It certainly seems he took it with him when he left.

As the Longhorns revert to form, a new era dawns in Tennessee. No coincidence there.

NFL Week 3 Round-up: Bad wins, good losses

Tuesday, September 26th, 2006

Oh, to be 3-0. Undefeated teams like the Saints and Colts receive beaming rays of sunshine from sports pages and talk radio all around the country. Their players start talking momentum, their fans start talking Super Bowl.

For formerly unbeaten teams that had their bubble burst, though, week 3 can be a sobering bummer. The Falcons and Patriots are suddenly pelted with questions about weaknesses they’d been praised for overcoming just a week ago.

As we look back on the last week of NFL action, two big stories stand out: the Bengals beating the Steelers and the Jaguars losing to the Colts. Each fits one of the descriptions above. The 3-0 Bengals are being hailed as potential champions, and the 2-1 Jaguars’ newfound credibility from their MNF win has been all but washed away.

Both storylines have it exactly wrong. Dig a little deeper, and you’ll see the Bengals win was a fluke, while the Jags’ loss revealed them to be as strong as previously advertised.

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NFL Week 2 Round-up: The Haves and Have-Nots

Tuesday, September 19th, 2006

Week 2 is always one of my favorite weeks of the NFL season. It reshapes the way we view some of the so-called surprises and confirms some of the raised suspicions from week 1. This season, it seems we received an even stronger dose of clarification/confirmation than usual. The ACL Festival took up the vast majority of my weekend, but I still caught enough good old-fashioned NFL football to take stock of several teams’ fortunes.

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NFL Week 1 Round-up: A day of chili-cheese Fritos and intriguing quarterback play

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

Opening Sunday of the NFL season brings the joy of gorging myself on game after game via my friend Johnny Jet’s NFL Sunday Ticket and the pain of gorging myself on too much junkfood. As usual, the day brought its share of surprises and confirmations, but with one notable exception, the storylines of today’s slate of games revolved almost entirely around the quarterback position.

Mike Vick slaps around a chic Super Bowl pick.
Today’s MVP was Michael Vick, who took the Falcons on the road and kept the Panthers off balance all day with his feet and his arm. Any time Vick completes a TD pass to a wideout, you should check hell’s temperature, but if I didn’t know better, I’d say he looked downright comfortable making his reads and tossing the ball downfield to someone other than TE Alge Crumpler. The Panthers normally have some success against Vick, but today even studs like DE Julius Peppers were left sucking wind after Vick beat them for another first down. If Vick can consistently control games like this, the Falcons can win that division.

Chris Simms proves the hype machine wrong. Again.
Newsflash: Chris Simms chokes when the lights are on. He’d be a hall of fame preseason QB, but as anyone who ever watched him play a game of any import at Texas knows, the kid has zero leadership skills, even less heart, and no guts. Chris Simms brings a famous name and a hand around his own neck to a game, and that’s about it. Tampa’s rookie backup, Bruce Gradkowski, may see the field sooner rather than later after Tampa Bay was shut out by Baltimore today. Simms scored more points for the opposition than his own squad today, and I’m guessing the locker room wasn’t too tolerant of his petulant pretty boy routine after the game. Fortunately, Gradkowski might be the perfect fit. I covered him at the Shrine Game before the draft, and the kid looks born to play in Gruden’s west coast scheme of short and play action passes. Simms looks like he’s ready to throw another INT.

Brett Favre needs help. He has none.
Bless his heart, Favre still slings the ball around like Sterling Sharpe or Antonio Freeman are catching balls in their primes. Too bad all he has are a double-covered Donald Driver and some NFL Europe hopefuls to throw to these days. Favre needs to retire or demand a trade before we forget the good times and remember only lines like those of today against the Bears: 15/29, 170 yds, 2 INT. Will the Aaron Rodgers era begin soon in GB? Either way, they look primed for a 3 win season.

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Monday Night Football

Monday, August 28th, 2006

4 Observations:

1) Tony Kornheiser — and it pains me to say it — is kicking ass in the booth. Theismann can’t talk very clearly with Brett Favre’s balls in his mouth, but Korny’s keeping Joe’s hyperbole in check while actually offering enjoyable commentary in engaging fashion. I really, really like him as a color guy. He’s rebounded nicely from the “formerly good columnist turned know-nothing who mails it in while openly admitting he barely knows the names of any athletes under 30.”

2) Theismann should be gagged, and not just with Favre’s balls.

3) Favre is D-U-N terrible. And so are the Packers. The old guy tripped twice over his linemen’s feet, lobbed several overthrown balls, and snared one trash-time touchdown in the first half. Get used to it Packer fans: this is your season in a nutshell. The Packers are a 4 win team and best and will battle it out with Tennesee for the #1 pick and the chance to draft Adrian Peterson.

4) Carson Palmer looked like he was in playoff form, just 10 months removed from ACL surgery. At this rate, ACL tears will soon be 1-2 week injuries. Seriousy, remember when it took a year to heal and then another year to round back into shape? Good to see medical advances going farthest where it matters most in the world: millionaires’ knees.

Enabling sociopathy

Saturday, August 12th, 2006

I love football. I’m a diehard Texas Longhorns fan, and I spend huge chunks of time attempting to divine things like which 4th string NFL wideout has the best chance of having a breakout year. I even cover NFL draft prospect workouts for the internets.

This doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge the sport’s shortcomings. In many ways, it leans closer to boxing than basketball or soccer; the celebrated brutality makes many a socially conscious liberal cringe. And I get that. I can’t defend it. Like eating meat, using cell phones, shopping at Target, or watching TV, I applaud those who abstain but can’t count myself among them. Judge away.

What I will say is there’s a big difference between being a football fan and unconditionally endorsing excessive violence. Most football fans I know grasp the difference between a player who plays under control and within the rules and one who uses the sport as an excuse to commit assault.

Whether or not some fans dislike the latter, though, the NFL doesn’t do a very good job of rooting out those ticking timebombs (or helping those who’ve already exploded). Oh, sure, if a player gets in trouble for any kind of assault, he’s ordered into a few weeks of counseling and the like, but the league immediately hauls him back out on the field to lay waste to other people while thousands cheer. For those with a bit of an addiction to violence, this doesn’t seem like the best idea.

The NFL’s current bad boy poster child is Sean Taylor. He hails from the “the U,” a.k.a. The University of Miami, and he plays safety. It’s barely an oversimplification of his role to say that Sean Taylor’s job is to freelance-roam the field and hit whoever has the ball as hard as he can.

Taylor is one of the best athletes I’ve ever watched in any sport. His combination of size, speed, and game instincts are among the best ever at his position. Unfortunately, this criminology major and son of a police chief has also demonstrated a taste for too much physical activity off the field.

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