when the status quo frustrates.

Roll Call II: Let’s have a contest!

Saturday, May 13th, 2006

A few months ago, for God knows what reason, I recieved an invitiation to join the Yahoo!Group Moral_Conservatism. I signed on and requested the once-a-day email of all postings for that day. In doing so, I ensured that my auxilliary inbox will always be full…full of INSANITY, that is.

Usually I just delete them without reading them, because each and every update contains either a) an example of rasicm so naked and hateful I’m embarassed to have the liquid crystals in my computer screen aligned in such a way as to make it decipherable, or b) a joke, urban myth, or rumour that is ALWAYS the very first result on snopes.com when you search for the obvious keywords in the anecdote, and it is ALWAYS debunked, usually by a call to the people or corporations involved.

The postings on M_C aren’t really all that special. Take your drunken, paranoid reactionary uncle, remove all of his endearing qualities through the magic of the psuedo-anonymous internet, and feed him copious amounts of urban legends*:

September 11th, a Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a town called McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York. He entered the business to find two Arabs whooping and hollering and really cheering it up. It was obvious they were elated with what had happened earlier. The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event. He didn’t feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss told him, “Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We’ll never deliver to them again.”

(Oh, my hero! Buy Budwieser! Really, the fact that it wasn’t the Heiniken driver or the Sam Adams driver speaks volumes in and of itself.)

…and every once in a while, reactionary “humor” attributed to a man who would never, ever, ever be such a douchebag as to think this is cutting edge humor:

YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN

by: George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

…
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
…

And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it’s
good….. and I’m proud that “God” is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

And what is going on with gas prices… again?

Now, multiply your uncle x 1000, mix in some stark racism, plenty of evenaglical Christianity and the latests neocon talking points and there you go, a mailing list.

Today’s mailbag, however, inspired a contest. I found the responses to McBoing’s roll call a little weak, so this time we’re going to make it fun. Ready kids?

Here we go: (more…)

13.05.2006 Entertainment, Godbaggery, Something you can do, Wingnuts 4 Comments

Say Thank You, America

Friday, May 5th, 2006

Don’t leave Stephen Colbert in the cold-his work at the Press Corp dinner is being largely ignored.

Jon Stewart, and now Stephen Colbert, provide a pretty important function right now. Jon obviously has a couple of things to say about media responsibility, and Stephen has a few points to make about the current administration’s relationship with reality. But they aren’t freakin’ superheroes. If they’re going to bring these points up (and they are good points) then more left-leaning politicians, media personalities and pundits need to be able to pick up the torch once we’re all done laughing. What was the point of Stewart’s Crossfire appearence if all it results in are a few cosmetic changes to the pundit lineup? Why should Colbert go to the trouble of reaming the president and the press corp at their own dinner if the mainstream media is going to black the whole thing out rather than talk about it?

In the meantime, those of us that were impressed can at least write a thank-you note.

05.05.2006 Something you can do 1 Comment

You just made a purchase. Perhaps you’d like to make another? Like, NOW.

Friday, April 21st, 2006

Dear TheLimited:

You’ve probably noticed by now the protests of a group called ForestEthics, who are annoyed that:

The racy lingerie company mails out 395 million catalogs annually, most printed on virgin paper.

(from Alternet).

Please, please, please do what these people ask. Actually, you should go a step further and send out fewer fucking catalogs to begin with. You see, when I was young and stupid, I had a Victoria’s Secret card that I used to purchase clothing and underpants from your catalog when you had you umpteen godzillion crappy sales. And while I still have some of that clothing, most of it was crap. That’s not my point, however.

My point is, that I could go for a month or two or more and hear nary a peep out of you. Just the regular, once-a-quarter deal. Then, I’d make a purchase. $30 for a dress here, $20 for a wad of panties there, the usual. Suddenly, my mailbox was flooded with catalogs. Once, two, sometimes three a week for up to six weeks after any purchase. Big, glossy, wasteful catalogs. More than once the same catalogue twice under two different covers. It got worse when I moved and changed the address on my credit card…suddenly, I was getting bra-and-panty catalogs at two addresses, one of which YOU KNEW I wasn’t living at.

Seriously, I was living with two guys at the time, and they were sick to death of knowing each and every time I bought new underwear by being tipped off by the flood of Victoria’s Secret catalogs. It was embarassing. And don’t even think they paid your models and underwear designers the compliment of sneaking off with a spare booklet and whacking off to it. Those things went straight into the fucking trash.

Eventually, I felt like used, like a whore. Was it the trashy undergarments? No, those were merely uncomfortable. It was the clear message you were sending me: sure, it was nice of me to purchase your products on your card at your ridiculous interest rate, but really, shouldn’t I be spending more? You people just got greedy, and it made me all cranky. Eventually, the flood of catalogs and the clear message to step up my consumption of your crappy crappy products persuaded me to cut up the card and not purchase from you again. I’ve moved several times since my last order from you, and my tiny apartment mailboxes are blissfully free of your detrius. I can’t risk the calm by ever giving you another dollar.

Anyway, people that care about trees should certainly check out these ForestEthics people. According to the AlterNet article, they know what they’re doing. And, uh, do something activisty, like writing a letter to theLimited. I think I’ll go do that now.

Updated to add: There is a template for sending an email or fax at Victoria’s Dirty Secret.

21.04.2006 Environment, For the ladies, Something you can do No Comments

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