So, I got some het dude input on my last post on porn, which I found somewhat useful and somewhat not–useful because one of the main foci of the last post was, why is this what your average het dude wants to see..? And not useful because apparently, these two het dudes are themselves not the dudes that want to see the commonest porn scenarios of woman = hurt/humiliated/bored.
More musing on the whys and wherefores of p-o-r-n
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009Let’s Talk About Porn
Sunday, May 17th, 2009No doubt in a disjointed fashion–frankly, porn is not a big part of my life. If I look at porn four times in a month, that’s unusual. Now, that isn’t because I don’t like sex–I like sex, lots. Nor is that because I don’t have a high sex drive–I do have a high sex drive, one that has not infrequently exceeded that of my partners in the past few decades. Mostly, I don’t use much porn because it’s just more trouble than it’s worth as a sexual aid.
Pat My Back
Friday, November 17th, 2006Today an old man called because he ordered an adult movie and it didn’t come through (no pun intended). I credited him the movie and then sold him a subscription to Cinemax.
He laughed to his friend: (overheard) Motherfucker sold me Cinemax. That’s a mutherfuckin’ salesman.
Did you miss me?
The Porn Fairy Giveth, The Porn Fairy Taketh Away
Friday, October 6th, 2006Thank you for calling Big Media Provider Co. My name is, McBoing; how can I help you today?
“I got up this morning and went to order Big Booby Bitches 3, but I got something else instead. I was going to watch that but then it cut off and said it was a subscription service.”
Sir, I show no evidence that any movies were ordered this morning.
“I want credit on my account or big booby bitches.”
I notice that you’ve received quite a bit of credit for adult movies that haven’t showed up on your television. Perhaps we should schedule for someone to come out to your home and take a look at your services.
“Look, if I don’t get off before I go to work I’ll go insane. Credit or big booby bitches.”
I put The Masturbator on hold and call my supervisor over. She takes a look at his credit history and says no way. She tells me to schedule a home visit so we can look at his subscription services and fix anything he claims is wrong.
Sir, I can actually have somebody out to your home within the hour. Will you be home?
“Just make sure you call first.”
Rape spam leads to secret patriarchy handbook
Thursday, September 28th, 2006This morning, I noticed a comment caught by our spamguard:
rape pornrape picturesrape fantasylesbian rapehentai rapegay rapegang rapedate rapeanime rapeanal raperape videorape videosrape
Subtle. With that “fantasylesbian” bit thrown in, I almost missed that this might lead to some rape porn.
I had a feeling the link provided would be [THE LEAST WORK-SAFE LINK I'VE EVER POSTED] one of the ugliest sites I’d ever visited. It was, but it also provided a surprise: it turns out that the patriarchy keeps its handbook at a “rape paysite portal.”
[Warning: This is disturbing, graphic stuff. Proceed at your own risk.]
McBoing Gets a Visit From a Certain Special Fairy
Thursday, August 31st, 2006I have a few computer-related pet peeves, and one of them are those history and favorites bars in IE. And IE. The first thing I did when I finally got my own work station was download Firefox and revel in my tabbed goodness. I like a large screen resolution, I want to cram as much information in front of my face as possible, and because I have to have so many windows that have to be open on the screen for actual work, I will not be assaulted by a fat extra bar in my browser.
Imagine my surprise when I get to my computer this morning and find IE glomming itself across the monitor. With the history bar open. Knowing that I certainly didn’t open this window, I clicked around.
Backseatbangers.com. In the history bar. On my computer. In IE. In the history bar, listed under Today.
I grabbed my supervisor. “Just so you know, I never use IE. But look at this.”
“Oh my god.” She seemed unfazed. The day before I caught her singing 2 Live Crew in her cubicle.
“I swear I just logged on.”
“Whoever went to that site certainly spent a lot of time there.”
“Sabotage?”
“Nah. Probably the cleaning crew.”
Porn Fairies
Friday, August 4th, 2006Training on the phones at Big Media Provider Co.
“I just got my bill, and I have to tell you that I am astonished that you have charged all this filth to my account. I would never order something like Hillbilly Honies or, Jesus, Fluffy Cumsalot.”
I’m sorry about that, Faux Disgruntled Customer. Are there children in the home? We can arrange for you to set a PIN so that nobody can order Pay-Per-View but you, sir.
“No, it’s just the two of us. We weren’t even home at the time. We were sleeping. The kids were home alone. I was at work. I absolutely refuse to pay for movies I didn’t even order.”
Well, I can see from your account, sir, that this movie content was ordered over a 24-hour period, and at a cost between $12.50 and $15.50 per six hour block, plus your regular excellent viewing content billed at the low cost of $75 per month plus tax, your bill totals at $320.57 plux tax for the month of July.
“I absolutely will not pay a penny for that garbage. I accidentally ordered one movie last week, but that was an accidental accident. Will this show up on our bill?”
I suppose the porn fairy snuck into your house and frantically ordered over two hundred dollars worth of porn while you and your wife were “away” at the “grocery store,” or whatever kids are calling it these days, just like those porn fairies tend to do with every fucking customer we have who is embarassed to admit that they wank off to titles like Xtreme Bitches 9 and Girls Gone Wild: Omaha but still remain too fucking prudish to show some goddamned penetration — and you expect me to feel sorry for you that you “accidentally” bought lame-ass softcore porn in six hour blocks (six hour blocks) and refund your goddamned bill and ruin my fucking stats because your cock wasn’t satisfied with the bad lighting and boob job scars and decided to order eighteen more bad, bad, awful, awful movies? And you are embarassed now (?!) that your spouse might discover your pathetic softcore kink? Was your Cinemax subscription an accident, too?
In other words: Would you like to pay that with cash or credit?
“I need to speak with your supervisor.”
When a facist burns a DVD, they use actual flames
Friday, May 26th, 2006A comment got away from me in marc’s Post on the recent Hitler Culturally Pure All White Conservative Christian Youth Rally, in which he said:
But did he [Hitler] stage an “anti-porn rally?” If not, well, the Christians may have him there.
Well the nuremburg rallies were a combination of the republican national convention, a white pride rally, and a pink floyd laser show (on a side note, the infamous “cathedral of light” was not accidentally named – it was a direct appeal to germany’s christian heritage and the overarching conflation between “christianity” and the nazi’s Cult of The Majority Party that ran through most nazi propaganda).
The white pride bit is where the anti-pr0n aspect came in, alot of the book burnings did include stuff that was deemed “amoral” and “pornographic” according to the mythology of the superior aryan culture’s morality, even stuff that did nothing more than frankly discussed/represented sex or sexuality outside the “biblical” standard the nazis said they wanted to return germany too – and in turn are things like sex and the city or Brokeback Mountain deemed equivalent to hardcore porn in the american fundies’ KultureJihad myths. I do hope that the historical fact that the people who were responsbile for the Holocaust also talked big about “morality” surprises no one by this point, this is “Pro-Life is Pro-War” America we’re talking about after all, doublethink is the swastika armband and faux-military uniform of the mind.
The War Against Porn, “Ze Vee-Vord*” And Cursing is another excuse for book burnings, bannings and other techniques for minitrue’s memoryholing of ideologically impure works from the mainstream culture so as to make it conform more and more with the far right’s conception of The Pure Culture. Which, as orwell noted in 1984, is anti-sex in nature, because freedom of sexual expression is subversive to The Majority Party’s mythology, as it was during the slavery era (“jumping the broom” ring any bells to right wingers? Not that they’d admit it of course, how many times have they banned SSM in Texas now, is it two or three times?) and still is today.
And I’m just talking as an amateur historian here, not as a “shrill and hysterical” lefty, I’m just calling it as I see it *spits chewing ‘baccy into nearby spitoon*, merely calling a facist a facist and a meathook by which they ended up swinging from, a meathook, something more people should probably do really, the Far Right Wing stopped pussy footing around in 2002 after all, and it’s not my fault that they happen to share ideology and terminology (“Clash of Civilisations”, “Culture War”, “crusades” against the barbaric and subhuman muslims etc…) with the nazis.
*”The V-Word” AKA “Vagina”, as referred to by infamous Black Ribboners like Ben Shapiro (who’s not at all gay, he just signed a pledge to never have sex with non-men is all) or Mike “Inexplicable Doctorate” Adams, but with a thick uberwald accent of course.
Officially a “porn liberal” now, woohoo!
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006We have another rightwing fan it seems, this time dawn eden, who writes:
My meaning was clear to most readers, though in retrospect I should have been more specific about a point I thought was obvious — that pedophiles use the goal of “demystifying” sex as an excuse to the children whom they prey upon. (The point was made, I thought, with my reference to the excuse parents use for letting their children see obscene materials.)
Since The Dawn Patrol’s readership appears to be mostly Christian, I thought you might be interested to know that my sentiments struck a nerve with what I call, for lack of a better term, the “porn liberal” crowd. (Suggestions for a different label — one that doesn’t impugn left-wingers, not all of whom support porn — would be welcome.)
Aside from the apparent evidence that centrists have gone so far right that Dawn Eden doesn’t want to insult all liberals as a group (thank you so much marcos and avorosis’ friend andrew sullivan), I like that she quotes this bit from my piece that focuses on the non-peadophile obsessed bit of her post:
“… Dawn Eden has been poked but never owned, thus making her entire gibbering about the ‘mystery’ of sex even more nonsensical and irrelevent because sex can never be ‘mysterious’ for her, and she has no real experience of a successful marriage either so what the hell is she gibbering about really?”
Which, in context (a word she’s not too familiar with it seems), I think, is her “mystified” (i.e. obtuse to the point of incoherency) way of calling porn liberals peadophiles, or peadophile enablers, or something of that stripe, even though I didn’t tackle the peadophilia bullshit thing in my post, instead opting for a long rant in defense of the act of Love.
But I am intrigued now; Is it because Dawn thinks that all rape victims by definintion must have done something to deserve being raped and therefore asked for it in some sense, that leads her to believe that victims of child molestation have to be goaded into enabling their abusers from the get-go via porn and presumably the anatomical diagrams shown in Sex-Ed classes? Because if so, she officially goes into the group I label “creepy weirdos who didn’t understand that Lolita’s protagonists was a bad person”, and will burn in her hell for a long time indeed.
Come on dawny-poo, my whole post was about the compassion of Love that weirdo “mystery” obsessed conservatives deny themselves inspite of jesus’ teachings, and yet you’re gibbering about “christians” and how peadophiles need porn to molest children rather than needing a stiff drink and some patriarchal justification that “she’s asking for it”, do you really think that a child can stop a grown man molesting them, or that a peadophile is going to get a child to follow them home with pr0n, rather than say a disney movie?
Hell Dawn, you don’t find pr0n nice to look at now, did you find it nice to look at when you were 5 or 10 years old? Because I know my reaction to someone showing me penthouse would have been “eeeew!” at that age, promptly followed by me running the hell away from it.
Actually that’s my current reaction to penthouse, now that I think about it, but the point stands, why the hell would a peadophile, who is usually a relation of the opposite gender to the victim if you’ll recall dawny-poo (how is derbyshire’s daughter doing by the way?), need porn to initiate their victims into so-called sexuality with an emotionally complex movie with “real sex action™”, rather than simply holding them down, jacking the kid’s pants down and banging away during the middle of a showing of disney’s snow white and the seven dwarfs? I’m talking logically here of course, if dawn wants to enlighten us to her own special techniques for child molestation I’m sure we could all find a bucket for vomiting into as we read it.
But seriously, why on earth does dawn think that the child will be in any way “consenting” to the abuse? Does she, like derbyshire and humbert humbert, have any little children locked in her creepy cat lady basement who’s abuse she’s trying to justify?
Hatin’ on Oprah
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006In unrelated but stupid news, a Long Island lawmaker is suing Google for being “the largest and most efficient facilitator and distributor of child pornography in the world.”
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