don’t like cross-posting, but sometimes i like being lazy.
the only slight difference is that our president is the producer… and there’s no one to remind him that, um… that’s not a horse, buddy… it’s an illegal occupation of a foreign land with no end in sight.
Watch out, Palestinians and Israelis! Condoleezza Rice has seen another moment of opportunity:
Rice cautioned the going would be tough as she wrapped up four days of intense shuttle diplomacy during which she met twice with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas to bridge wide gaps over a declaration the conference is to endorse.
“I do think it is moment of opportunity, but there is very hard work ahead,” Rice told reporters at a news conference with Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni, who’s leading the Israeli negotiating team.
The last time Rice saw a moment of opportunity for the Palestinians was in regards to the death of Arafat and subsequent elections in 2005. We all know how that worked out.
Just last July, Prime Minister Poodle saw a moment of opportunity.
“I think there is a sense of possibility at the moment. I think this is a moment of opportunity,” Blair said in Ramallah after meeting Palestinian Prime Minister Salam Fayyad.
After earlier talks in Jerusalem with Israeli President Shimon Peres, Blair said translating those possibilities “into something” would require work and thought “over time”.
Moments of opportunity take two things: Lots of work, and lots of time. Apparently, the Israelis and Palestinians just haven’t worked hard enough or been patient enough to see their moments of opportunity through to completion. It has nothing to do with the history of Western interference and imperialist designs in the region.
Of course, there are moments of opportunity all over the Middle East. Bush saw one when Israel bombed the crap out of Lebanon in July 2006. His administration saw one for Iraq in February 2006, just a few days after the bombing of the Askariya shrine in Samarra, one of Shiite Islam’s holiest sites. As we all know, the Iraqis took full advantage of this moment of opportunity. There was another one in May of that year, with the *ahem* election of the current puppet government.
I guess the moral of this story is that if you live in the Middle East and a neocon mentions that he or she sees a moment of opportunity, stock up on bottled water and make a run for the nearest bomb shelter. Opportunity leaves a lot of corpses in its wake.
Another day of SPP talks and protests, another mindboggling quote from CCCE president Thomas D’Aquino. In reference to the protesters’ displeasure at the fact that elected representatives and the public aren’t being consulted on the SPP, he said:
I do not say to myself, ‘If I don’t get an hour with the prime minister in the next six months, I’m going to go out and protest and reject the system outright. I don’t do that because civilized human beings — those who believe in democracy — don’t do that.
One might argue that civilized human beings who believe in democracy don’t sign away national sovereignty in closed-door meetings. At the teach-in last Sunday, Michael Byers, one of the panelists, gave a shout-out to the cops who were no doubt in the audience, mentioning that unlike the leaders in Montebello, our meetings are open, and we have nothing to hide. I found it interesting that representatives of all major Canadian parties except the Conservatives attended the teach-in. Even the relatively right-wing Liberals, who held power when the SPP talks began, seem to feel a bit queasy at the direction that the discussion is taking.
In a functional democracy, protest is not simply a right. It’s a duty. This wouldn’t occur to someone like D’Aquino, who gets an hour with the Prime Minister whenever he wants, as well as more input into decision-making than politicians get. But his comments highlight something that I kept pondering as I marched beside anarchists, communists, social democrats, liberals, trade unionists, members of various targeted and racialized communities, and whack-job conspiracy theorists. Despite the earnestness of the demonstrators, despite the fact that many of us are stridently anti-capitalist and “reject the system outright”; the collective demands themselves are not radical. They aren’t even really reformist. They’re the sorts of things that we’re taught in high school civics class to be intrinsic to democracy and civil society: Stop meeting in secret. Debate policy in Parliament; that’s what it’s for. Consult the public.
That these demands, in the current political climate, are considered controversial at all is a damning indictment of how far we’ve drifted in the direction of oligarchy. The revolution we need looks more like the one of 1789 than of 1917.
Speaking of civility, check out this video from yesterday’s protest (hat-tip to Ariel):
Dave Coles, president of the Communications, Energy and Paperworkers Union, manages to stop a protester from throwing rocks in the family-friendly “green zone.” It seems that the “protester” is actually a cop or provocateur: Unlike when demonstrators normally get arrested, the cops don’t beat him, and while he scuffles with the other protesters who try to hold him back, he doesn’t struggle with the police at all. The other anarchists don’t seem to know him and don’t try to protect him or object to his arrest. He’s led quietly behind police lines. No word yet on who he is or whether he’s one of the handful of arrests (I’m guessing not).
Conclusion: Cop, sent to stir things up, discredit the demonstrators, and justify a police crackdown. It doesn’t seem to have worked, though. Remind me who the civilized ones are, again?
The media can’t really explain it. The governments of three countries have been very vague about it, to the point where most elected representatives don’t know what it is. And yet, some people seem rather upset about it.
Until a few days ago, when mass protests around the Three Amigos’ summit in Montebello, Québec, forced the media to pay a bit of attention, most people in the three affected countries had not heard of the Security and Prosperity Partnership (SPP). Even the alternative media and the blogosphere is suspiciously quiet—probably because it’s hard to both find information about the issue and to explain it in the convenient soundbytes and talking points to which we’re all accustomed. Thomas D’Aquino, of the Canadian Council of Chief Executives, describes the content of the talks (which have been taking place for the last two years) as: “quite important but frankly quite boring.”
We wouldn’t want to bore the people whose lives are likely to be radically changed by this thing. That’s why you’re not being consulted—in fact, your elected representatives aren’t even being consulted. Only the top military brass, corporate elite, and national leaders need to be concerned. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. After all, don’t they always have your best interests at heart?
This is why I don’t believe in most conspiracy theories, incidentally. There’s no need for them. If your leaders are planning something distasteful for you—say, treaties or agreements that would attack your health and environment, strip what little labour protection you currently enjoy, curtail your freedom of movement, and embroil you in illegal wars—they don’t need to invent elaborate means to hide it from you. They can simply bury the issues in alphabet soup, discuss their plans in remote locations, and tell you that it’s too boring for you to need to read about.
Anyway, the 5,000 or so people who converged in Ottawa yesterday evidently didn’t find the subject boring at all. I was there, participating in the rally, march, and teach-in meant to tell the world about what’s going on today and tomorrow in Montebello. I was terribly impressed at the ability of the organizing groups—particularly the Council of Canadians—to accomplish what our media and politicians couldn’t do; namely, explain what the SPP is and why we should all care.
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In the immortal words of Barry Goldwater, it’s hard out here for a pimp.
Despite pimping their unfounded fears and their unjust wars and their ignorance-as-education agenda, The Powers That Be haven’t had much luck sexing up their Q Scores. In fact, they’re more unpopular than ever. Old friends are threatening to form their own cliques, and making new friends is next to impossible when everyone in school knows all they like to do is run around the halls giving tittie twisters to anyone who isn’t as rich, white, or dude-ish as them.
So what should you do when you need to score a few easy points with the “in crowd?” Why, pick on the new kid in front of the whole class, of course. That way, everybody knows what a big man you are.
It seems the Halliburton Boys have been studying their ’80s movies, because yesterday they got their bully on and threw one nasty sucker-punch:
The news of a sweeping crackdown on illegal immigration Friday was delivered by Bush administration officials with a verbal finger wag, a warning carried out after Congress’ failure this summer to pass legislation that would have also included more lenient reforms.
Starting as early as next month, employers would face tougher sanctions for hiring illegal workers, federal contractors would have to use special software to confirm employee identities and plans for beefing up the U.S.-Mexico border with more fencing and Border Patrol officers would kick into gear — the best measures available under existing immigration law, officials said during a Washington news conference.
I bet this kind of tough-talk coverage of their actions makes them want to go out and wax their chests and legs and make Patrick Swayze faces in the mirror.
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Punkassblog) – In a startlingly aggressive maneuver, home planet and longtime Bush administration opponent Earth may be preparing a series of strikes intended to disrupt U.S. oil interests along the coast of Alaska.
White House spokesperson Tony Snow reiterated that Mr. Bush will not tolerate such threats. “The president wants to assure the American people that freedom will prevail,” said Mr. Snow. “Terrorists can and will be dealt with harshly, especially if they threaten our way of life.”
While the two have never been close, the relationship between Earth and Mr. Bush cooled after the President commented that the United States needed to “thin its forests” without first consulting Earth. The final straw came earlier this year when the U.S. announced plans to expand its oil drilling efforts into previously protected areas of Alaska.
Defenders of Earth claim these actions pose a threat to Earthling interests. In particular, increasing the oil supply may eventually result in more carbon dioxide emissions, an outcome some conspiracy theorists insist will cause direct harm to the planet.
The Bush administration remains unconvinced. Vice President Cheney received a standing ovation at the William F. Buckley Memorial Fucknut Luncheon for his strong rebuke of these claims. “We’re not going to let this planet push us around anymore,” said Mr. Cheney. “We know these rising temperatures are just its way of trying to threaten us with another 9/11, but we don’t negotiate with terrorists. We just torture them until they die. And that’s precisely what we plan to do to Earth.”
Earth did not immediately return a call requesting comment.
People say the Bush administration hasn’t learned from history, and maybe that’s true, but they’ve certainly learned from the future. Even if the date of that future is in the past. I guess what I mean to say is, “holy fuck did the Bush administration do a good job of making 1984 come alive.”
Any good Orwellian will tell you that you can’t live in permanent Big Brothery without constant war to distract and cow the populace. By scheming his way into the Iraq debacle, Bush has now officially made his lie the truth:
The [intelligence agency] findings focused most heavily on Osama bin Laden’s al-Qaida network, which was judged to remain the most serious threat to the United States. The group’s affiliate in Iraq, which has not yet posed a direct threat to U.S. soil, could do just that, the report concluded. Al-Qaida in Iraq threatened to attack the United States in a Web statement last September.
The Iraqi affiliate also helps al-Qaida more broadly as it tries to energize Sunni Muslim extremists around the globe, raise resources and recruit and indoctrinate operatives — “including for homeland attacks,” according to a declassified summary of the report’s main findings.
Interestingly, an earlier version of this AP article explicitly noted that the Iraq version of al-Qaida went from non-existent to one of the most powerful arms of terrorism and the group most intent on attacking the US. Now, the piece just indicates that they are a danger; it dropped the suggestion that we created our greatest threat by invading Iraq. I’m sure that edit was totally grammar-related, though.
Of course, for all we know, this whole report is just partisan tripe designed to provide flimsy justification for continuing the war. It’s been well-documented that agencies have been purged at all levels of all but the toadiest of cronies. But whatever “scary foreign name” we choose to give them, I have no trouble believing our bumbling conquest has generated whole swaths of people who’d give their lives to strike back at America.
So, let’s review.
We have a president who stole one election to gain power and another to keep it, all while continuing to find new ways to violate our Constitution. He also occupied a country without cause and fostered so much international instability that we’ve lost our friends and made millions of enemies who have nothing to lose. As a result, the fake enemy is now real. And in the eyes of many, the unwinnable war must now be continued because we can’t afford to lose. And the future deaths of thousands of Americans and millions of people that don’t seem entirely real to those same Americans may be assured. All we have left to do is restart the Cold War.
Gosh golly donkers, I just know something’s fishy with that funny-talking Mr. Maliki from down the street. The other day local crazyhead Mike Slag told me how much Mr. Maliki said he needed my help, but now he swears he doesn’t need me around at all. He says he’s ready do handle things on his own, even though I just know Osama bin Meany and other al-Qaeda toughs are giving the poor guy non-stop trouble. So why would he say he doesn’t need me anymore? This looks like a case for Encyclopedia Bush!
Ever wonder what keeps Bush up at night? Or what terrifies Stephen Harper, or Felipe Calderón? Apparently, this woman does:
That’s Maude Barlow, National Chairperson of the Council of Canadians, Canada’s largest citizens’ advocacy organization. She doesn’t look too intimidating, but it turns out that she’s such a threat to the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America (SPP) that the RCMP and the U.S. Army don’t want the Council of Canadians anywhere near the three North American leaders when they meet in Montebello, Québec, on August 20 and 21.
The Municipality of Papineauville, which is about six kilometres from Montebello, has informed the Council of Canadians that the RCMP, the Sûreté du Québec (SQ) and the U.S. Army will not allow the municipality to rent the Centre Communautaire de Papineauville for a public forum on Sunday August 19, on the eve of the so-called Security and Prosperity Partnership Leaders Summit.
…
As well as being shut out of Papineauville, the Council of Canadians has been told that the RCMP and the SQ will be enforcing a 25-kilometre security perimeter around the Chateau Montebello, where Stephen Harper will meet with George W. Bush and Felipe Calderón on August 20 and 21. According to officials in Montebello, there will be checkpoints at Thurso and Hawkesbury, and vehicles carrying more than five people will be turned back.
Despite the CoC’s best efforts, the SPP, or “Deep Integration,” hasn’t really been in the news. Giving it an unwieldy and unmemorable name certainly helps—it’s also quite difficult to explain in accessible sound bytes how the SPP will affect our lives. Think NAFTA, but more heavily armed:
The SPP takes NAFTA’s goal of continental economic integration much further by including security and foreign policy issues, and by speeding up the process of regulatory harmonization integral to the first Canada-U.S. Free Trade Agreement. Despite a lack of public awareness or input, all three North American governments are moving quickly toward a continental resource pact, North American security perimeter, and common agricultural and other polices related to our health and environment. Working groups comprised of bureaucrats and corporate leaders are quietly putting this “partnership” into action, and to date only industry “stakeholders” have been consulted.
NAFTA’s effect on the working class of all three countries (though especially Mexicans) was predictably devastating, so it’s right to question why a similar policy that encourages the free movement of capital while restricting the freedom of people (not to mention potentially drawing uninvolved parties into American adventure wars) is being decided behind closed doors, without even the slightest illusion of a democratic process. But it seems that Bush, Harper, and Calderón know that the SPP is such a bad idea that they’re afraid of anyone even hearing about it. (Recall Harper’s banishment of the national media, taking cues from Bush.)
Remember when our leaders maintained the pretenses of democratic involvement and accountability? (No, me neither. But I heard it used to happen.) They’ve proven themselves so terrified of a little information getting out that they’re willing to use the RCMP and the U.S. Army to insulate themselves from their own citizens. How embarrassing.
Hat tip to Ariel.
File under “shocking, the opposite of:” the President rejected Congress’s subpoena for documents related to the firing of federal prosecutors.
According to our sources at the Capitol, Bush’s response contained only the following homage to PAB:
You said it couldn’t be done. You said he’d never make it happen, that Iraq would never make it to the top. And, yeah, it’s not there yet, but boy is it close:
Iraq has emerged as the world’s second most unstable country, behind Sudan, more than four years after President George W. Bush ordered the U.S. invasion to topple Saddam Hussein, according to a survey released on Monday.
The 2007 Failed States Index, produced by Foreign Policy magazine and the Fund for Peace, said Iraq suffered a third straight year of deterioration in 2006 with diminished results across a range of social, economic, political and military indicators. Iraq ranked fourth last year.
Can you believe he moved Iraq up 2 spots in just one year? And you know those are some of the toughest spots to climb over, what with all the bloodshed in Somalia and economic chaos in Zimbabwe. Well done, Mr. President!
And in case you doubt that this is exactly what he wants, check out what he said today about their progress:
President Bush had a nearly hour-long secure video teleconference with Iraqi leaders on Monday and came away impressed and reassured by the progress they’re making on political, security and economic reforms, the White House said.
See? He’s thrilled with the direction they’re going. He’s also thrilled about the recognition of his work, and in gratitude he sent the following letter to Foreign Policy magazine and the Fund for Peace:
Dear Eggheads,
Consistency. Like James Cameron on Titanic, we stayed the course. And just like him, we’re on a rocket ride to the top of the charts.
Because, if you think about it, James Cameron took naked photos of Kate Winslet; we took naked photos of our prisoners. James Cameron built one of the biggest sets of all time; we’re building the most fortified embassy of all time. And you didn’t hear this from me, but there was a rumor James Cameron used to rape up a few extras and ornery PAs, and you all know we’re beatin’ hard on Iraq with the rape stick!
When you envision yourself as a winner, like James Cameron, good things happen to you. All you smart people scoffed at me for trying to achieve my dream of a utopian Iraq, but look at it now — we got ourselves a genuine pleasure dome. You can kill two dozen innocent bystanders before lunch, or blow up anything that looks at you funny. The whole place is a real life Grand Theft Auto, and I made it happen!
My only complaint is with a sudan being ahead of us. I used to drive a Volvo sudan and there was nothing unstable or murderous about it. Please correct your clerical error.
Amen,
George
With his approval ratings dropping to fascist levels of sub-30% in the US of A, George Bush has apparently decided to move on and tackle the problems of a smaller nation:
Communist rule of Cuba should end when ailing leader Fidel Castro dies, U.S. President George W. Bush said as he prepared for a Latin American tour this week.
Kudos to him for biting off a smaller piece of the world’s pie, but I’m afraid Bush may still be in over his head. When asked at the same press conference about Hugo Chavez’s plans in Venezuela, Bush put a pot on his head and called the kettle a poverty-maker:
“I strongly believe that government-run industry is inefficient and will lead to more poverty,” Bush said when asked about Chavez’s nationalizations.
“If the state tries to run the economy, it will enhance poverty and reduce opportunity.”
How cute. Bush is suddenly and deeply concerned about poverty and its causes. I wonder if he realizes the percentage of Americans living in poverty recently reached a 32-year high, with at least 16 million living in “deep or severe poverty” on his own soil. And the growth of that number under his watch? 26 percent. Those numbers mean he’s either wildly ignorant about ways people become poor, or — *gasp* — he’s a massive freaking hypocrite.
Given that rock and hard place, maybe Bush isn’t equipped to tell any country, no matter how small, how to care for its people. I doubt Cuba will take him off our hands, though. The poor bastard couldn’t even straighten out a baseball team, and if that’d make anyone suspicious of his economic leadership abilities, it’d be the Cubans.
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