when the status quo frustrates.

One step closer to a corporatist dystopian future

Monday, January 28th, 2008

…where you can get a high school diploma by working in McDonald’s

Do I need to point out everything that’s wrong with this? Corporate sponsorship of public education is a vicious cycle. First, the government cuts funding to schools. Next, a corporation approaches the desperately underfunded school to bail it out—Nike will build you a new basketball court, in exchange for some brand-name recognition. How could any inner city school refuse? Then, the government is free to shirk its responsibility for funding, because hey, someone’s already paying.

I doubt there will be much of an outcry as the education of the underclass is slowly handed over to corporations eager for a docile, under-educated workforce. In my province, this has been going on for awhile—Ontario high school students must complete 40 hours of community involvement to graduate. The lofty rationale behind the policy (“to encourage students to develop awareness and understanding of civic responsibility and of the role they can play and the contributions they can make in supporting and strengthening their communities”) sounds nice until you read the rest of it; students, most of whom already have part- or full-time jobs, can complete these hours “in a variety of settings, including businesses, not-for-profit organizations, public sector institutions (including hospitals), and informal settings.” While I’ve been in community activist groups that have taken on student volunteers, most kids end up doing free labour for businesses.

Welcome to the future: Liberal educations for the rich, indentured corporate servitude for everyone else.

Laugh it up, veg-heads

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

We already know you’re better than us anyway. Now you can walk around proudly, all botulism free, while the rest of us go dizzy and become paralyzed:

A Georgia meat processor expanded its recall of canned meat products that may be connected to a botulism outbreak.

Castleberry’s Food Co. of Augusta recalled more than 80 types of canned chili, beef stew, corned beef hash and other meat products over the weekend, in addition to the 10 brands it recalled Thursday.

The list of brands recalled, in case you’re one of the potentially-stricken:

Austex, Best Yet, Big Y, Black Rock, Bloom, Bryan, Bunker Hill, Castleberry’s, Cattle Drive, Firefighters, Food Club, Food Lion, Goldstar, Great Value, Kroger, Lowes, Meijer, Morton House, Paramount, Piggly Wiggly, Prudence, Southern Home, Steak N Shake, Thrifty Maid, Triple Bar and Value Time. The recall also includes four varieties of Natural Balance dog food.

I’m curious what meat product you would sell under the name “Thrifty Maid.” Or maybe I’m not.

I plug the movies shamelessly because I care.

Friday, November 17th, 2006

Fast Food Nation is out today!

The book was excellent and I highly approve of the movie’s unexpected format – you’d think it would be a documentary like An Inconvenient Truth, but it’s not. Anyway, I’ll be seeing it this weekend and you should, too.

Let the filthy joke contest begin

Monday, October 2nd, 2006

Rox Populi sees Marc’s microwave hot dogs and raises him sausage on a stick wrapped in sweet, sweet chocolate chip pancake.

I hereby announce a Punkass Innuendo contest. Get on your mark, get set…

GO!


pancakeonastick.jpg

Non-Prostitution Post

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006



You Are Duck


Exotic and unusual, you are a bit of a rare bird – literally.
You’re known for being soft and succulent, though at times you can be a bit greasy.

Gross.

List of ingested items that do not make me sick: vegetables, coffee, booze, Jell-o. My stomach loves me, my intestines are pissed off. Duck is a no-no.

In other news, someone out there is elated that I’m ill because it gives him the opportunity to rail against The Left.

To wit:

The defining characteristic of the people on your side is just so hilarious, that tremendous contrast between your grand plans to rearrange the whole society and your total inability to successfully manage even your own lives, making you helplessly drift from one personal crisis to another.

And I don’t even feel bad about laughing at this. Next to what you guys did during the twentieth century, killing about a hundred million people and condemning billions of others to live under a tyranny of poverty and misery that we can’t even imagine today, nothing that I could ever do would amount to much more than a bite of a flea.

Do note, dear sir, that I didn’t ask for a handout, I asked for an IV bag to rid myself of the bother so I can, you know, work. Isn’t that better than asking for free healthcare and food stamps? I personally took the Republican message to heart. I didn’t just get myself one job to pay the bills, man, I got two, and I’m patiently waiting these nine months to receive health care benefits for myself and my family while I work 14-16 hour days. I’m a Republican wet dream.

Marketable degree? Got it. Bootstraps? Got ‘em too. Favorable economy? That’s on you and yours, man, along with the black heart it takes to laugh at people with health problems. Compassion? I’ll give you a bit of mine. It appears you need it, dollface.

A case of the meatshits

Friday, June 9th, 2006

Hey punkasses!

It’s Friday night, and you’re probably thinking to yourself, “I’m too happy. I sure wish there were more bile-spewing assholes out there that would send me into massive rage fits. I’m beginning to think this world of ours is all right, and, to be honest, I don’t like it one bit.”

If that sounds like you, friend, then come on down punkass way, because I’m prepared to make you hate mankind all over again, thanks to the most offensive album ever recorded. And before you ask, no, Michael McDonald had nothing to do with it (though I suppose I don’t know that for certain).

You’ve been warned.

(more…)

To the “poke it, you own it” STFUeminists

Thursday, June 1st, 2006

The poke it, you own it thingie is very interesting imho, because it has revealed this whole sub-culture of “feminists” who have a totally different blogging experience from me.

Now commenter Tlacloc at pandagon whips out this weird idea;

There are 57 responses to this thread alone. Via google I find close to 16000 sites that are found by looking for “you poke it you own it” and either ‘feminist’ or ‘feminism.’

16000.

Let’s conservatively say that an avergae of 15 minutes was spent on each. There’s 4000 man hours that might have been used a bit more productively. It adds up fast, huh?

Or to put it into terms of important feminist “man” hours (AKA fellatio), that’s 48000 five minute blowjobs! 48000 quick blowjobs wasted for want of bloggers commenting about a shitty ad campaign rather than sucking dick!

Blogging about the miller horse piss campaign is surely the worst thing since the holocaust! /not at all serious hyperbole

Now this whole idea of “wasted ‘man’ hours” idea seems odd indeed to me, as I generally don’t blog in a manner that would make me start thinking about “man” hours, either wasted or used constructively, even when I haven’t blogged for a day or two and I’m searching for something to blog about, I don’t see something and say “well that’ll do, let’s put a feminist spin on a critique of that because I have to blog about something goddammit”, I search until something sparks what is for me an interesting line of reasoning, thought or whatever. (more…)

Damn you cheese! You will betray me.

Saturday, May 20th, 2006

Dairy products are found to increase a woman’s chances of having twins. Fuck you, ice cream. Why do you have to be so delicious?

A study in the Journal of Reproductive Medicine showed milk drinkers were five times more likely to have twins than women who ate no animal products.

I was thinking of decreasing my dairy and increasing my soy and rice milk intake just for the sake of my fat ass and my arteries. We’ll just consider this to be another log on that fire.

The effect is likely to be greater in countries such as the United States that allow growth hormones to be fed to cattle.

The researcher behind this study says that women thinking of getting pregnant might consider alternatives to meat and dairy products to reduce their chances of having twins, as multiple births are more prone to complications.

Perhaps I will spend the rest of the day perusing my small collection of vegetarian cookbooks. I am, after all, pre-pregnant, and fuck if I’m going to let the fetus-hungry military-industrial complex get a two-for-one deal from my uterus as a bonus feature to the hormoning up of my meat and eggs. And remind me to send Planned Parenthood a thank you card for all the ortho tricyclene. It is my last line of defense against the cheeseburger, apparantly.

Mocking Vox Day (and his hair)

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

Vox Day, which as everyone I’m sure knows, is latin for bad hair piece…
Aaaargh!
…made something of a faux pas recently when he smashed a few windows at Godwin’s synagogue, saying that Bush must be wrong about being unable to deport all the nasty jewish mexican immigrants because the nazis managed to “rid themselves of 6 million Jews” in a mere four years.

Now, while I despise bush and everything he stands for, that someone who describes himself as “the Christian Libertarian commentator from WorldNetDaily” should object, not to the hating, nor the racism, nor the downpressing of his fellow man, nor even the needless intrusion by the state into the affairs of people who just want to live a life free of starvation and death, of bush’s immigration schemes and retoric, all of which should have anyone who calls themselves either libertarians or christian (and who use those terms in any sense that make them more than mere meaningless bytes on internet caches), chafing at the bit (and validly so), pisses me off, especially as no, of course not, none of that’s not what’s wrong here is it VD?

No, the problem is that the Bushchev admin is not willing to go as far when dealing with miscellaneous untermenschen as hitler was. Oh Kay.

Now while taking apart the original statement would be fun, and edumacational (in so far as historical references gained from Maus can be considered “edumacational”, get a copy now dammit, it’s good), one of the replies he has to someone criticising his breaking of Godwin’s law so shamefacedly is more interesting, for the irony if nothing else, and he runs over enough of the same ground as he did originally that I can still riff off of the glaring innaccuracies in his original post without any real trouble.

So anyway, VD receives a letter

Why DID you use that particular example? I’m obviously not implying that you’re a neo-fascist or a racial purist. Just wondering why you didn’t instead recommend the Ottoman Empire, Milosevic, and the US vis a vis the Indians as examples, since all of them seem much closer to what you propose.

Hmm, good question random anonymous guy, pray tell VD, why did you pick hitler in particular?

There were certainly a number of historical examples I could have used, but the one from National Socialist Germany seemed the most apt to me for three reasons. First, the number 12 million has been bandied about lately with regards to illegal aliens and I was reading Robert Wisnich’s book not so long ago, so when I read about Bush declaring how it wouldn’t work to deport so terribly many, the first thing that sprang to mind was something on the order of “for Pete’s sake, the Endlosung took less than four years and that’s half 12 million right there.”

This of course would be a very pertinent fact, if no A) jew who went into the camps had survived and B) if all the camps had been located outside germany, Where exactly did you think dachau and ravensbruck were VD? They were in germany, as were many of the early camps and ghettos, in fact it can be argued that Germany’s expanding borders led to all the camps being located within the mid-war borders of nazi Germany. So let’s check, the total number of deportation out of Germany by the Nazi government = 0, so obviously you picked that example because of the amazing ability that Nazi Germany had when it came to mass deportations. Uh huh.

Yes VD, you not only picked the most vulgar and ugly comparison you could think of (which I get the feel was bascially the point wasn’t it? My troll sense is tingling at any rate), but it’s also one which is factually wrong and also, if you actually had any idea at all about what you were talking about vis a vis the actual historical facts regarding the holocaust and Nazi Germany, leaves you with no room in which you can then word lawyer your way out of it and say “Oh, but I wasn’t suggesting mass murder or anything” as you’ve basically got into a tizzy over the fact that bush wasn’t carting some of the current immigrants off into southern death and labor camps for the purpose of getting “rid” of a large proportion of that 12 million. No doubt bush could put the rest into some of those out of country torture/death camps we currently run, maybe there’s one or two in eastern europe that we could use, or would VD really have us believe that he’s forgotten about Poland?

Second, most people are woefully ignorant of history. You’d be amazed at how many people emailed to inform me that the National Socialists KILLED 6 million Jews. No, really, Mr. History PhD? Given that perhaps one in five readers could identify Milosevic or the Ottoman Empire, much less the Polish postwar expulsion and murder of one million ethnic Germans, it made sense to go with something readers would at least have heard of.

That noise you can hear faintly on the wind is the sound of my laughter after the irony fully overwhelms my body. What amuses me no end on top of that, is that of all the bits of the Nazi era in which a staunch racist and not-particularly-crypto facist might point to as a good example of getting “rid” of the immigrant problem, the era of “joycamps” is not it. The period I’m thinking of as a much better example of how to deal with keeping america pure of the untermenschen flood, would be the prewar period of not-at-all-state-sanctioned terrorism backed up by the Nuremburg Laws that created the large jewish communities of london, new york and the netherlands as all the german jews who could afford to do so fled germany in their droves.

Never mind that the entire comparison falls down due to even the Nazis knowing what the american equivalent to the “jewish problem” was, and that was the african-american population of course, who’s state sanctioned treatment and exploitation as both as labor source and as a means to keep the “po’ white folk” in check (via racism) was the model upon which the nuremburg laws and germany’s own version of the racially segregated state were based off of. The more important, for the purpose of debunking VD at any rate, reason why the african-americans would still be the equivalent to the german jews, even if you ignored or were unaware of the basis of the nuremburg laws and the phrase “seperate but equal”, is because there’s no massive influx of african americans into american, just like there was no huge influx of jews fleeing to nazi germany for the better pay and living conditions, in fact the only surge in the jewish population occured when there was a sudden influx of german armor and aricraft into the neighbouring countries. And somehow, I don’t think invading a country and then using the now entrapped ethnic minorities as a cheap form of slave labor is quite the same situation as what american faces with regards to hispanic immigrants, not least of which is the fact that while the immigrants are kept here for the purpose of exploiting as slave labor, as the jews were in germany and eastern europe, the mexicans are here out of socio-economic screwed overness, rather than due to the combination of guards, watch towers and barbed wire around the work camps. This is America dumbkopf, we’re not like Nazi Germany, we expect Our Others to aid us in their oppression when ever possible via a complex system of socio-economic front end incentives.

That’s why there’s talk about sealing the border, you can’t throw people out of your country if they’re just going to hop straight back in the moment your back is turned, we’re not like nazi germany, the people who make money off of immigrants are hardly going to have left the border so open for so long if an open door policy such as the one nazi germany had until the very late 1930s was liable to cause immigrants to escape to mexico where they couldn’t be exploited and dumped on any more.

Third, I believe that the Third Way politics practiced by the Bush-Clintons and the Blair-Camerons are a modified version of the original Third Way, more infamously known as fascism. I’ve been reading a history entitled FASCISTI by Giordano Bruno Guerri in the last week and the similarities between the development of the historical cult of the nation and the modern cult of multiculturalism are striking.

This bit has nothing to do with much of anything as far as I can tell, other than to show that VD really can read/knows what he’s talking about (which is so childish (and USEnet geek childish no less) and just plain sad that I’m simply going to leave it there unmolested), but I am amazed if he’s actually read any book that examines the ideology and history of german fascism, considering he makes such a declaration only as a way to provide some “truthiness” based justification for some weird comparison between facism and multiculturalism when anyone with half a brain (sans the blackened mind control hallibut of doom obviously) would notice that A) multiculturalism as espoused by the B & C run anglophonic facists is just a rock under which they hide their racism, or doublethink to put it in orwellian terms, and B) that multiculturalism isn’t an actual unified, top down managed, political ideology, so much as a non-specific “I’m not a racist, but” political dodge.

Of course the sneaking suspicions you might be having that VD’s anti-bushchev schtick is just a way for him to play the “balance” character for WingNut Daily so that they can then pretend they’re “fair” and open to alternative ideas, is somewhat bolstered by the way he tacitly supports the far right’s use of the doublethink concept of “multiculturalism” by pretending it actually is some Politically Correct ideology rather than simply far right wing doublethink that is used to hide their natural racist tendencies.

In Summary: VD obviously got told to “get a haircut ya hippy!” by an elderly jewish man once and has harbored a grudge ever since, two thumbs down for historical accuracy, bullshit use of doubethink that had little or nothing to with anything in particular, the much too obvious support for mass murder as well as the complete and routine breaking of the Irony barrier.

Also, doesn’t VD realise that 9/11 changed everything (the sky is green now fuckers) including the neccesity of using the Nazi comparison like a large and heavy blunt object in a domestic dispute? For fuck’s sake, that’s what 9/11 is for you silly head!

How Privelage works or… Social Darwinism Vs. Some Endangered Tigers!

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

In this exciting new feature, I plan to pit the stupid socio-economic philosophies of the right that just will not Die against a large dangerous animal in a fight to the finish.

This week:
That most dangerous of all of nature’s tools, The Social Darwinist:

Is pitted against the awesome force that is…

Some Endangered Tigers!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pg-photography/146027378/

Let the metaphor begin!

Social Darwinist: So this is a metaphor?

Me (RM): Well yeah, but it’s a social metaphor which will end with you being eaten by a tiger, and probably after cleaning up its crap first.

SD: So what’s in it for me?

RM: Well you don’t get a choice, you see you symbolise the working class in this metaphor, that’s why you’re butt naked when it’s cold and raining in that tiger pit.

SD: But I didn’t ask to symbolise the working classes!

RM: I’d like to find just one factory worker or lettuce picker who chose to be born into their socio-economic group.

SD: Oh come on! It’s completly different, they can work their way up out of their socio-economic beginnings if they just work hard enough at it. Every working class person chooses to be poor through the act of not choosing to be rich, duh!

RM: Oh don’t get me wrong, you do get a chance to change you circumstances in this metaphor just like the working class do in their lives, you see, you’re butt naked and cold and wet, but you get the choice to wear this lovely thermal suit made entirely out of freshly killed meat, or not.

SD: Bu..WHAT!? I’m in a pit with some ferocious…

RM: …And really quite hungry…

SD: …tigers, and you ask me if I want to put on a meat suit!?

RM: Exactly, and the reason why is because the ferocious, quite hungry and highly territorial tigers represents both the class system itself and the upper classes who keep it maintained against outside influences.

SD: And all I get is a meat suit?

RM: You want the meat suit? I can just toss it in now if you want.

SD: NO! I just…That’s it? That’s all I get versus some tigers?

RM: Well if things get out of hand, this man with a gun will deal with it.

SD: ahh, so if it looks like the tigers are going to tear me to shreds he’ll shoot them with tranqs? No doubt he represents socialist government programs or something right?

RM: I hope not, considering he’s only here to shoot you in the head should you do anything that might, in anyway, harm those highly endangered tigers.

SD: WHAT!?

RM: You see, he represents the middle classes, who’s main reason for existence seems to be that they provide a handy bufferzone between the upper classes and the working classes they exploit. Oh! And to produce apologists for the class system that oppresses the working class, like you, who are privelaged or secretly think they’re going to get rich quick by the class system. Oh, that reminds me, here’s a shovel, or possibly a spade, I prefer pitchforks personally.

SD: uh, thanks I guess, what does this represent then?

RM: well I’m a bit conflicted about this, it’s either “gainful” legal employment or banking fees, loans and credit cards that are offered to the very poor. You can utilize it for its full metaphorical fulfillment by using it to shovel the tiger crap in the corner, thus causing the territorial tigers to understand precisely who’s in charge here, thereby quelling their territorial tendencies. They might eat you anyway of course, but that’s why it’s such a good metaphor, even if I do say so myself.

SD: It’s not actually a spade though is it? So much as a small plastic toy hand spade.

RM: well of course, ever since the class system unanimously voted the Bankruptcy bill through…

SD: The tigers… The Government didn’t unanimously vote through the Bankruptcy bill! Some parts of the Government voted against it!

RM: But the Tigers represent the Class system remember and only the upper classes. Now in a democracy everyone has a say in governement right? That what the name means “government by the people”, so as this is a democracy, and all the classes who had the opportunity to vote decided to vote for the bankruptcy bill, the entirety of the class system supported the bankruptcy bill.

SD: Isn’t that a bit convoluted?

RM: well, kinda, especially considering that tiger over there voted against the meat suit.

SD: He did?

RM: Yeah, he didn’t like the type of meat used. But the basic point remains that the class system as a whole voted for the bankruptcy bill without putting up any real opposition.

SD: But the working class can still opt out of getting credit cards and loans and being charged banking fees right?

RM: Well yes, theoretically.

SD: Can they or can’t they?

RM: Release the Giant Fan!

SD: What’s the fan for?

RM: Well, it’s cold, it’s wet, but for the poor, it can always get colder, this fan represents the ever increasing cost of living combined with the lower wages that results from outsourcing scams and similar cost evasion schemes the upper class utilize in their business practices and which the tigers, over there, do nothing to really stop or limit.
Turn it on boys!

SD: Oh, My God, I’ll die of hyperthermia like this!

RM: Unless you take the Meat suit…

SD: Brr! Okay okay, give me the meat suit dammit, and I’ll just get to shovelling this crap then shall I?

RM: Okay! Now you’re learning!

SD: Ah, that’s much better, now don’t mind me tigers I’m…OH MY GOD AAIIEE! getemoffgetemoffme! AAARRRRGH! Help me! mommee!

Results of the metaphor:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/3stepsahead/83796409/
Tigers (representing the Class system and the Upper Classes): 1
A Social Darwninist (playing the part of the working classes): 0

disclaimer: This post is not advocating that social darwinists should be thrown into pits with tigers, it’s just an illustrated metaphor.