when the status quo frustrates.

When MSNBC reads like the Onion

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

polygamy fashion
Pastel is the new black.

Please tell me that this article was written by a bored, possibly drunk AP writer having a lark and trying to see what he or she could sneak past the editor.

Prairie skirts are in fashion this season, while dusty pastels and neutrals are being introduced to offset trendy bold colors and patterns.

Long hair is also on its way back in, preparing to replace the currently fashionable bobs, Gibson says. Buns never go completely out of style, according to Gibson — he often gives celebrities a half-up-half-down ‘do, essentially what we’re seeing in the photographs coming out of Texas.

But for the most part, the looks that arise from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are likely to stay there.

On her blog, the fashion editor of glam.com wondered if the spotlight on the Texas raid would make otherwise innocuous pastels unsavory, given their dubious association with polygamists.

“Unexpected perversion? Right-wing fads?” Susan Cernek wrote. “Sounds like a good Halloween costume … or Marc Jacobs Spring ’09.”

No really. Are they serious?

Hat tip: violachic

26.04.2008 Culture, For the ladies, Godbaggery, Hair, Media hackery, Shame on you for being a woman, What Patriarchy? 7 Comments

The final word on Evolution Vs. Creationism

Wednesday, September 13th, 2006

Okay, that’s it, I’ve finally been dubbed a moonbat, however as Nubian doesn’t actually hold the view that race conquers all, instead going so far as to actully coin the term “Oppression Olympics” for that sort of pissing contest, I feel that Alon Levy may not be an authoritive, nor official classification.

There’s only one thing for me to do: Fly into Vox Day’s haircreature and finally conclude the on going arguement that surround the competing theories of Creationism and Evolution (more…)

13.09.2006 Godbaggery, Hair, Moronic Religions 4 Comments

Oh for fuck’s sake

Friday, August 18th, 2006

Eyebrows? Who devotes this much time to thinking about eyebrows? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people?

“For women who overpluck, this season will be about growing your eyebrows back so that they have a natural arch that extends out and ends in a beautiful point,” said Pat McGrath, a makeup artist for Max Factor and CoverGirl and the creative director for Procter & Gamble Beauty.

Not that this hot new eyebrow trend is going to make your life easier. Au contraire!

To achieve the furry but tamed Hemingway eyebrow, Ms. McGrath suggested an appointment with a professional eyebrow groomer.

Ok, I admit to having had my eyebrows waxed once before a job interview, and they did look nice all neatened up. I have to keep thicker brows because of a scar in the middle of one eyebrow, so I guess that just makes me some kind of trendsetter (thanks, Paris and Milan, I always knew you guys looked up to me). However, I got it done by this woman down at the hair salon who also waxes legs and faces and dyes hair and perms it and all sorts of things. I highly doubt she would describe herself as a professional eyebrow groomer and I’d like to meet the person who can introduce themselves as one without being a little chagrined.

For those of yo who, like me, live in the hinterlands of Flyover Country and lack access to professional eyebrow groomers, you may follow these easy yet less adaquate steps at home:

For those who want to create fuller brows at home, she suggested a way to ensure that they look evenly shaped. Start by drawing over the straggly hairs you want to remove with a white eyeliner pencil to guarantee that the placement is right before tweezing them.

Next, to create fullness, use a brow pencil or brow powder that is two shades lighter than your natural eyebrow color to fill in between the hairs. The brow should look blended rather than drawn on, she said. Finally, use clear mascara or eyebrow gel to fluff hairs — push them up so they are almost vertical — and then brush them back down, fixing them into shape, she said.

Then bam! Grab a toaster strudel and out the door in plenty of time for work! Easy peasy!

For those with very sparse brows, some salons offer eyebrow extensions.

I’ll let you know when eyebrow extensions reach MiddleofNowhere, OH. At that point, reality will have no meaning and you are truely free.

18.08.2006 For the ladies, Hair, My Brain Hurts 9 Comments

Need a Mindfuck?

Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

Check out the comments on this thread.

12.07.2006 Asides, Hair, Racism, Rights? What rights? 12 Comments