Godbaggery « PAB: For the poorest of elites.

A Cheery Hanukkah Present.

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

A survivor of sexual abuse is suing the Vatican, and two courts in the U.S. are considering hearing the case.

“I was not truly mad at the right person,” he says. “I kept going up a ladder, and I was looking at cardinals and even the Pope knew, you know, that this was this bad. That’s what truly upset me.”

Now Turner is in court again — suing the Vatican.— Abuse Victims Seek Court Date

Apparently, it’s remarkable that the Vatican might be held to account for its systemic concealment of sexual abusers. Which rather highlights the utter stupidity of giving an already large and powerful religion its own country to play with. Let’s start with this fucked up, patriarchal institution with enormous wealth, resources, and devotees so brainwashed so as to make most generals salivate. Then, let’s give it sovereign immunity and treat it as an equal amongst nations. That’s going to work great.

It’s almost enough to make you think that all the Zionist conspiracy theories floating around are ultimately encouraged by the Church, to keep people from delving too deeply into what, exactly, all those funny old men in point hats are doing.

22.12.2008 Moronic Religions 1 Comment

Priceless

Friday, December 19th, 2008

Those of you who peruse Pharyngula are doubtless already familiar with this episode; for those of you who are not, from PZ a few weeks ago:

The Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden and the Creation Museum have made a joint marketing agreement and are selling “combo tickets” to get into both attractions for one price.

The Cincinnati Zoo is promoting an anti-science, anti-education con job run by ignorant creationists.

Unbelievable.

I believe the Cincinnati Zoo has betrayed its mission and its trust in a disgraceful way, by aligning themselves with a creationist institution that is a laughing stock to the rest of the world, and a mark of shame to the United States. I urge everyone to contact the zoo; write to their education and marketing and public relations departments in particular and point out the conflict between what they are doing and what their goal as an educational and research institution ought to be.

While you’re at it, it might be even more effective to contact the newsroom at the Cincinnati Enquirer and the Cincinnati weekly, City Beat. Let’s raise a stink and give these guys the bad PR they deserve.

The zoo did end up withdrawing their “combo ticket” offer, much to the anger and dismay of a certain subsection of upstanding American citizens, who have promptly written to inform PZ of their massive displeasure. It’s great readin’. Check out the priceless gems below!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself forcing your religion on others this is a free country and it should not happen. If your religion is so faultless and absolutely correct then debate with a professional from a creationalist Mr. Morris. Scientist thought the universe revolved around the earth about 1000 years ago,they thought the earth was flat 500 years ago and 200 years ago man couldn’t fly so as we progress we find science is very fallible. So as long as people like you think you are an infallible god and socialism is the way you chose to deal with unproven fact there are always people that won’t and can’t believe another false religion.

Let’s see. PZ is an atheist, socialism isn’t a religion, and what exactly is an “unproven fact?”

This nation is going crazy with left wing attacks on traditional America and the Christian principles on which it was founded (not the revisionist historian separation of church/state myth).

Always good to know that the separation of church and state as one of America’s founding principles is just a nasty, left wing myth!

Evolution is used now as a tool to promote the vulgar and disgusting homosexual movement that has recently become violent.

Vulgar AND disgusting! And how come I missed out on the news reports about the recent upsurge in heterosexual beatings at the hands of gangs of roving homosexuals? Maybe the writer’s getting confused by stories like this one–homosexuals, homophobes; they ARE very similar-looking words, I have to admit.

I just found out that you were one of the main reasons that the Cincinnati Zoo cancelled its partnership with the nearby Creation Museum. How dare you!!! And you should be ashamed of yourself, but since you are obviously an intolerant, left wing liberal, I can probably count on the fact you have no conscience, at least not one that would make you ashamed of something like this…You spout your speech about how people should be tolerant of others. Of course what you mean by this is that Christians should be tolerant. Well, sir (and I use that term extremely loosely), Christians are probably the most tolerant people on the planet. If we weren’t, and if we spoke up more, then asinine liberals like yourself wouldn’t be trashing this once great country…And I hope you have the courage to answer this e-mail, but then again I’m sure you don’t. You, just like so many other pea-brained, pinheaded liberals I know, just want to make your stupid little comments then go into hiding and not take any responsibility for what you say or do…Your actions have proven that you are..a pseudo-intellectual snob.

A veritable model of Christian tolerance!

19.12.2008 Circle Jerking, Godbaggery, Unintentional Humor, Ze Goggles! Zey Do Nothing! 4 Comments

Lessons from Xena (Or Why I Agree with FFR)

Friday, December 5th, 2008

I was watching the “Xena” episode “Altered State” (instead of studying for my property exam) and it made me think of the story it is CLEARLY based on, that of Abraham and Isaac. For those of you lucky enough to avoid having to go to church (or, like most, have completely forgotten the story) Wikipedia has a pretty good run-down of it. The short version runs as follows:

God: I’m bored. Huh, I bet I know what would liven things up; I’ll be a giant jackass and test the faith of one of my most faithful. I’ve already split the family up, what with the whole Hagar/ Sarah thing, let’s see what I can do. Yo, Abraham?

Abraham: Yes my lord? I live to serve the. Though normally hearing voices would be a sign that I’m clinically deranged, it is surely that I am holy and God has chosen me.

God: Go and kill your kid on top of a mountain.

Abraham: Yes sir. *clicks heels* Come on kid.

Isaac: What was with the whole “sacrificing kid” thing? We didn’t bring a goat, or a lamb or anything.

Abraham: I’m sure something’ll turn up. *Ties Isaac to rock*

Angel: Yo, God, how far are you going to take this joke?

God:….oh yeah, tell him to stop would you? I would, but my show just started.

Angel: Stop killing your kid. Here’s a wild Ox, god likes those too.

Abraham: If you’re sure. *kills and burns ox*

Isaac: Um, yay god?

Now, the lesson you’re supposed to take from this is that you should always have faith; if god says jump, you say “how high?” and don’t ask any other question. My question from this is: what kind of fucked-up, psychopathic god, says “kill your kid” even (and maybe especially) as a test of faith? I have a running theory that the god of the Bible is more akin to an abusive spouse, than any kind of benevolent being. This is an example of that; this is like an abusive spouse asking the other to get rid of a pet because “you love it more than me” and then pouting until you do, and then saying s/he was “just kidding”. This story is one of the many, many stories that are supposed to be inspiring, but are really just insane in primitive. Even if there was any evidence that god existed, this would be a damned good reason not to worship it. Just as a general rule of thumb: if the voices in your head say “Kill” don’t listen to them.

This story was particularly sticking in my head in light of this; the atheist sign in Washington put up to the Nativity Scene. The sign said “”At this season of the Winter Solstice, may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.” Hubby was mad when he read this sign, because as a still-vaguely religious person with fond memories of his church, he disagrees that religion “hardens hearts and enslaves minds”. I, of course disagree. Paul the Spud over at Shakesville disagrees with the sign as well, saying:

GAH. Thanks SO much for handing Bill O’Reilly and his like-minded knuckleheads more ammo. I’m seriously beginning to wonder if these War-on-Christmasers and You’re-telling-us-we’re-going-to-hell atheists are profiting together off of this bullshit.

Not surprisingly, I disagree with both of them. Yeah, I think Freedom From Religion is at best insanely naïve if they didn’t expect people to be pissed by this sign, and at worst disingenuous. And yeah, this sign is probably not the best in way of being persuasive.
But you know something? FFR is right. Religion has been used for many good things over the years, and inspired (or at least paid for) some of the best art work in the world. But, it does harden your heart and enslave your mind. If one of the “role models” in the Bible was willing to kill his own kid because he thought god said so, that’s what I call a hard heart and an enslaved mind. If religion teaches you to do what god says, and never to question it, (and god amazingly always sound like the leader) than you have a hard heart an enslaved mind.
And Bill O’Reilly and the like don’t need ammunition; they’d make it up if they didn’t have this. And just like I won’t be cowed when someone says “if you feminists just ask for it NICER, you’d get more rights” and “if you gay people would just stop being so AFFECTIONATE in public, people would accept you more” I find it completely unpersuasive to tell atheists not to get their message out as often as possible, or to say it nicer if they want to be taken seriously. Atheist organizations have every right to say this where everyone else is allowed to say their beliefs. No one has convinced anyone of anything by staying silent and hidden.
So, good for FFR. I hope either Christian organizations will take this as a lesson to stop using government property for their beliefs, if they don’t want them contradicted.

05.12.2008 Godbaggery, Wankers 7 Comments

The Revised Church of Homophobia

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

I am tired of the tiptoeing around and kid glove treatment that these assholes automatically get because they associate themselves with Jesus. Spare me this holiday season–please?

No? Well, let me help you, then.

The Pope’s Christmas Gift: ~~A Tough Line on Church Doctrine~~ Vigorous Support of Ten Years to Life in Prison For Teh Homos*

and

Split in Episcopal Church hits new level
Conservatives who ~~fled liberal views of Scripture~~ believe that Teh Homos should be publicly reviled and burn in Hell have formed a breakaway church in North America.

There–much more accurate. Don’t they want their message gotten across more clearly? I’m sure they do!

*The pope also says, Stop touching each other before Mass–we can’t tell which of you are Teh Homos when you do that!

04.12.2008 Human Rights, Media hackery, Moronic Religions, Soapbox, Teh Gay, Wankers, Ze Goggles! Zey Do Nothing! 1 Comment

Um…so?

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

USAToday:

The nation’s Catholic bishops are expected to issue a statement Wednesday pledging cooperation with president-elect Barack Obama on numerous social issues but vowing all-out opposition to any law or executive order he may sign advocating abortion rights.

Did I miss the part where America became a theocracy? Specifically a Catholic theocracy? oh, it isn’t? so, we’re supposed to care about this because..?

To Auxiliary Bishop of Chicago Thomas Paprocki, that would precipitate a cascade of disasters: It would “nullify all conscience laws” allowing doctors, nurses and others to object to abortion, and would require abortions to be performed by all hospitals — which could lead to ending obstetrics services in all Catholic hospitals, even to closing the hospitals entirely.

“Any one of us here would consider it a privilege to die tomorrow — die tomorrow! — to bring about the end of abortion,” said Auxiliary Bishop Robert Hermann of St. Louis.

No, nooo! Don’t throw us into that briar patch, Brer Fox! …er, I mean, “Yeah, don’t do that! We couldn’t stand it if any of those things happened!”

11.11.2008 Godbaggery, Obamarama, Reproductive Rights, for reals 11 Comments

I’m Not Happy

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

“My”* guy won last night. We have elected our first black president in the United States; a date that will go down in history and I am predicting might be one of our generation’s “Kennedy moment”**. We will be asked by our children where we were when we heard that the first black president was elected.

Anti-choice measures all across the country failed tonight (including the 3-peat “Parental notification” measure that failed in California). Children won’t have to worry about being thrown out of a house or beaten because of an unwanted pregnancy.

Dole, the atheist-baiting bigot, was defeated in Nouth Carolina.

But, like getting an A on all of your classes but failing one, my disappointment today is about Proposition 8 in California. I was hoping against hope that people wouldn’t want to take away people’s right to marry. I was hoping against hope that even though they wouldn’t give the rights to people, that they would recognize those self-same civil rights when the courts were forced to step in.

But they didn’t…

And now, after a major stepping stone forward for the civil rights of one group, all I can think of is the civil rights lost to the ones who tripped and fell. They lost their right to legal recognition of their love, and all of the privileges therein. All of the rights of marriage: the health care from the partners insurance, the community property, the tax break, the visitation rights; all of the things that took me and my Hubby 15 minutes and 65 bucks; are being taken away from people who are my friends and loved ones.

All so people don’t have to tell their children that gay people exist. All so people get to keep the magical word “marriage” to their happy little heterosexual selves. All so “traditionalists” who don’t what the hell the word “tradition” means can stay stuck in their backwards, bigoted world, afraid of how fast the world is changing, and too lazy to want to keep up with it. And this is bigotry; plain and simple. This is not wanting homosexual people to have the same rights as heterosexual people, because some pastor said that a 2000-year-old book written by a bunch of bronze-age, nomadic goat herders about a megalomaniac, sadistic sky fairy that had been translated and re-translated a bunch of time through the centuries had a few, taken-out-of-context phrases that meant to literally say that “gays are icky”.

I’m disappointed, and I’m furious. I’m angry because I’m now going to be told that the gay rights movement just needs to ask nicer next time, and if they wouldn’t be so in-your-face about it, and just wait nicely, then they would have won. I’m angry because people are proud in their bigotry: they are CELEBRATING it under some sort of fuzzy definition of “values”. And I’m angry because anger is a much more productive emotion than sorrow.

*Technically, I would have preferred McKinney. But, Obama’s the one I voted for.
*That and 9-11.

05.11.2008 Punkass!, Culture, FUCKING IDIOTS, Family, Godbaggery, Human Rights, Soapbox, discrimination 14 Comments

Oh, I Love The Onion

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Churches Illegally Endorse Candidates

Thirty-three pastors in 22 states are in danger of losing tax-exempt status for their churches after endorsing a candidate from the pulpit. What do you think?

Rebecca Landsman,
Systems Analyst

“I’m glad I have no idea who my vehemently pro-life, anti-gay-marriage, anti-stem-cell-research, pro-intelligent-design pastor endorses.”

02.10.2008 Punkass!, Godbaggery, Ze Goggles! Zey Do Nothing!, teh funny No Comments

Guardian Angels Are Here, Say Most Americans

Saturday, September 20th, 2008

I found I couldn’t improve on that title.

More than half of all Americans believe they have been helped by a guardian angel in the course of their lives, according to a new poll by the Baylor University Institute for Studies of Religion. In a poll of 1700 respondents, 55% answered affirmatively to the statement, “I was protected from harm by a guardian angel.” The responses defied standard class and denominational assumptions about religious belief; the majority held up regardless of denomination, region or education — though the figure was a little lower

Yeah, by like almost half.

(37%) among respondents earning more than $150,000 a year.

Apparently their angels look a little more like this:

In the case of angels, however, the question is a little stronger than just belief. Says [Christopher] Bader [director of the Baylor survey], “If you ask whether people believe in guardian angels, a lot of people will say, ‘sure.’ But this is different. It’s experiential. It means that lots of Americans are having these lived supernatural experiences.”

I’m hoping it’s just residual from hormonal contraceptives in the water. I figure if that’s all it takes to cause whole colonies of boy frogs to spontaneously change into girl frogs, surely it can manage to induce periodic wish-fullfilment hallucinations in tens of millions of Americans!

The Baylor study tested other statements that might indicate a similar belief in the supernatural intruding into everyday personal experience — “I heard the voice of God speaking to me”; and “I received a miraculous physical healing.” But far fewer people claimed to have had those experiences.

Randall Balmer, chairman of the religion department at New York’s Barnard College, says that the Baylor angel figures are one in a periodic series of indications that “Americans live in an enchanted world,” and engage in a kind of casual mysticism independent of established religious ritual, doctrine or theology. “There is,” he says, a “much broader uncharted range of religious experience among the populace than we expect.”

Oh, my. That’s perilously close to stating that all organized religion is, is opportunistic groups of men who capitalize on an already-established human tendency to believe in m-a-g-i-c for their own personal gain…say it ain’t so! But of course that would only make sense if the folks who are in power experience a much lower level of this kind…of…rationalization…of…

— though the figure was a little lower

Yeah, by like almost half.

(37%) among respondents earning more than $150,000 a year.

Oops!

(via.)

20.09.2008 Godbaggery 4 Comments

Sarah Palin is too much, too little, and too late.

Friday, August 29th, 2008

Everyone’s talking about McCain’s choice for VP candidate, MILF Sarah Palin of Alaska. His motivations are transparent, and were within seconds being widely discussed on all the hottest blog comment threads. Everyone knows why she was picked, the question is, will it work?

If the opinion of Vision Forum is any indication, I’m going to have to guess, no.

The selection of a feminist, pro-life mother of five with four children, seventeen and under, including a newborn Down’s syndrome baby, to fulfill the post of vice president is without precedent in American history. What Democratic vice presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro was unable to accomplish for the feminist cause in 1984 may now be handed as a fait accompli to America through the hands of evangelicals and conservatives. After decades of Christian leaders fighting against the feminstic vision of the working supermom, Republicans are now showcasing the vision in the most high profile election in the world.

It was from this post that I learned Palin returned to work a mere three days after having her latest child, who is afflicted with Down’s Syndrome. From this, I infer two things: first, god damn, there’s a woman used to working at least twice, if not six or seven times, as hard to be considered half as good. I mean, just, damn. And second: someone’s got a lot of help at home. A lot. Of really trustworthy help, because who besides your own mother do you leave a special-needs newborn with? At any rate, she’s clearly figured out how to have the mythical feminist dream of having it all, so it’s a damn pity that this perfect specimen of a strawfeminist is in fact there to balance out a perception that John McCain is just too soft on women’s issues.

But she chose her side, and unfortunately for her that side has spent the last two decades or so pandering to a base that thinks “Feminists for Life” is actually comprised of a bunch of feminists, and so she just might fail as a token. Could you imagine if she became president in the event of Old Man McCain’s death? How can a president have children? It’s just too much work! Who will take care of them while she’s presidenting? There’s no guidance about this situation in the Bible, so the whole damn situation is unthinkable. Back to the kitchen you go, Mrs Palin!

I am confident that Mrs. Palin is a delightful, sincere, thoughtful, and capable woman with many commendable virtues. But in fairness, there is nothing “traditional” about mothers of young children becoming career moms, chief magistrates, and leading nations of three hundred million, nor is this pattern the biblical ideal to which young women should aspire.

Of course, Palin’s nomination means it’s again time to think about the unthinkable:

With more and more women entering the political sphere and running for political office, the conscientious, biblically oriented Christian is confronted with the question of whether or not he should give his support and vote to a woman. This question becomes more pressing for many when the “best candidate,” i.e., the most conservative, pro-life candidate in a particular race is a woman.

Short answer: No.

…is it biblically proper for a woman to hold political office, and thus rule over men? Has God ordained women to be civil leaders, or has He reserved this authority for men only? I believe that the Bible gives a definitive answer to this question: women are not permitted by God to hold political office and rule over men in the political sphere.

That’s right, you Serena Joy wanna-bes. No power for you, no matter how good you are at turning your loathing of those sinful daughters of Eve into policy. True Christians are apparently required to vote for a be-penised man who will uphold the unbiblical rights currently given to wayward harlots over a more theologically-minded cuntsack. The parts of the Bible William Einwechter cares to include in his analysis say so. Every mention of women holding authority states that this is wrong, except for that story of that woman who held some authority, which doesn’t count.

The example of Deborah does not give sufficient evidence to prove that she held the office of civil ruler or to overturn the biblical doctrine that men alone are called of God to the office of civil magistrate. Therefore, Christians should not support a woman for the office of civil magistrate.

I do believe that by this logic the Religious Right will have to vote for Barack Obama, with his stylish, more traditional wife and his betesticled running mate. And we on the left welcome our new swing voters. Please, make yourselves at home, take a look at the platform. Have some coffee before we start screaming at each other about abortion.

29.08.2008 Punkass!, Godbaggery, Obamarama 9 Comments

The Fetusmobiles are here again.

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

The DNC seems to be bringing out all the protesters. Including the protesters who feel that both the number of (1) women killed by a lack of access to reproductive healthcare, and (2) the number of car accidents stemming from drivers being distracted by giant fetuses, are far below what we, as a nation, could achieve.

(Disturbing fetus picture below the cut.)

(more…)

26.08.2008 Punkass!, Bodily Autonomy, FUCKING IDIOTS, Godbaggery, Reproductive Rights 8 Comments