when the status quo frustrates.

…And I’ll build my own blog! With hookers! And black Jack!

Friday, October 27th, 2006

In the long tradition of the various unnameable nobodies who left major bands right before they were famous, I am leaving Punkass.

Do not ask why, let me instead blame it on harrassment by Ann Blartow, as everyone else seems to be atm and I feel I’m at that time in my life when I feel insecure enough in my self to mindlessly follow the pack and fit in with everyone else for once.

Okay, now for some final words:

First off, I call down a curse on feminists, the curse shall be “cuntensquirten”, I urge them to use it wisely.

Second off, I challenge the photoshoppers of Left Blogistan to incorporate the phrase (or some variation of it)…

Do it bold, do it with… Diebold Ultrathins

For when you don’t care about the results

…into something.

And last but not least, I urge everyone to keep their fellatio fingers flying. (more…)

Veiling (discussions by white people who don’t know what they’re talking about) sucks

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

Reading this thread at Feministe made several highly salient points magically appear in my head about the Veiling Debate that’s been going on:

1) Why am I the only white person in the world it seems who knows that muslim women are not actually commanded by their religion to veil in front of children – which means she’s veiling to avoid the male gaze of her colleagues not the children – according to the Quran? I’m pretty sure I read a english translation of the Quran at some point unless I secretly learned arabic without me realising, so I’m kinda shocked to see so many people who are so utterly unclear about that point, I’d assume it’d be like having at least a passing knowledge of the bible – sort of fundamental to commenting about islam and most of the geo-political hoo-haa surrounding the various islamophobic pogroms really.

2) Last I checked it was illegal for a woman to wander around without a top on in most american states, where are the legions of anti-mandatory-chest-covering protestors? It’s the same principle and I really could have done with out the mandatory bra + shirt combo I had no choice about wearing back in the summer – covered breasts do also seem to send crazies (like ann althouse or John “The Pedobear” Derbyshire) into a complete tizzy so it would save everyone a lot of trouble really because so many people freak out at covered chests and just can’t stop staring for some reason.

Oh, and it’s fucked up to ingringe on people’s personal liberty to wear whatever the hell they like or not just because some crazy white asshole finds something offensive – like that’s anyone’s problem but their own.

3) If a class of 6 – 12 year olds needs to see the teachers lips to understand her (which I’m sure has nothing to do with a presumption by anyone about her ability to speak english – because I’m sure everyone knows that like all most (innit!) british muslims she speaks english better and more eloquently than pretty much any and all canadians ever will), then I assume she has the training to deal with a special ed class and when she say “the kids can understand me fine” (as she has done) we can pretty much take her word on it – and if she’s teaching deaf kids she should need to be able to sign anyway and that she wears a niqab is an incidental side note that isn’t really relevent.

But having said all that, I really do have to agree with all the rest of the knee jerk white reationaries that it’s about time Britain and America both started to deal with the scandal that is muslims wearing hoods on their head. (more…)

This is what Civil Discourse looks like

Sunday, October 15th, 2006

Like the guy at the end asks “are you on our side or theres?”

Which I find is never a bad question to ask yourself. (via)

Saturday Random Flickr Pics, the “In honor of Habeas Corpus” dub

Saturday, October 14th, 2006

Everytime I do some perfectly innocent search through flickr (in this case the word used was “DUH”) I get the unconnected weirdness.

(more…)

Where for art thou, Oh Reality Based Community?

Monday, October 9th, 2006

Hold up, Hold, the fuck, up lindsay, What the fuck are you talking about?

I am of course referring to this ghastly burkatuter grade evil creature of a paragraph:

Amanda’s insight undercuts ethnocentrism. It’s harder to think of your culture as the measure of all others when you realize that humanity’s most serious problems repeat themselves everywhere under different guises. If you assume that there are commonalities, awareness of an oppressive practice in another culture should lead you to wonder if your own culture might be doing something similar but less obvious to you.

Let us step the fuck back and examine what the fuck it appears Lindsay is accusing Amanda of here: (more…)

Is FDL quickly becoming the Left’s answer to LGF?

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006

FDL has finally pushed past the Thurmond Barrier of racial insensitivity.

Fuck you FDL, and myself*.

* the bear of racism eats me today, mea culpa, mea culpa, the only thing I can say in my defense is that I didn’t actually make the damn thing, and I hold no shame for remembering the damn thing from a random search for zardoz months ago (something that offensive just stays in your head for wrongness).

What’s shames me is that A) I thought that would be funny at the time, when the implementation was sporked to a fine fucked up paste of nastiness and it’s clearly not, and B) that part of my brain is now going “No! you can still use the O Ry? Owl for good! It’s Just the implementation that you did wrong!”.

I’m slapping it down with the mantra “IN WHAT POSSIBLE UNIVERSE DOES THAT HAVE TO BE USED AT ALL!?” followed by lots of cussing.

I’m So fucking sorry folks.

I was also unable to think of any western patriarchal traditions

Sunday, October 1st, 2006

…Except marriage, obviously.

I love you amanda, but the thing is that while a burka is a handy dandy symbol of patriarchal oppression, it is not Your symbol to use you silly cracker.

You see, one of the ways the islamic patriarchy pushes hijab onto women who would otherwise prefer not to wear head scarfs or burkas or any of that stuff is to use the KultureKampf that western imperialists are waging against muslims as an excuse to guilt trip young muslim women into donning the patriarchy uniform that goes with the particular family’s cultural background.

So many muslim women have been raised and told over and over again by their famlies that they’re betraying their culture and their fellow muslims if they don’t wear the headscarf or dress super modestly that they start to go along with it as they realise how incredibly racist western society is towards them, and you can justify any patriarchal bit of bullshit with that line – way too many of the FGM victims I’ve met (all of whom were fundigelical christians) used the line to justify chopping their daughter’s clits off. (more…)

Random smock @ Wiki

Sunday, October 1st, 2006

Clicked through a few links on wiki and found this:

Smock may refer to one of the following:

* Smock (garment) The smock was formally invented in 1033 at the battle of hastings by Eimher Seonhog a combat of the greatest skill, before painting his battle shield he put on a pice of drying englishman’s stomach, to protect his uniform and war paint from dirtying with filty infidel blood. After this and winning the war he journeyed to Mecca where the great Muhammed Angelo, the greatest painter to the ancient world was working on his newest piece, Dwarders In Motion, Eimher presented the smock to not get his clothes dirty whilst painting and Angelo took it and turned it into the modern day smock, what we now use to wear when eating lobster and chinese food on a zimbabwean pedestal.

W. T. F!?

Jane Hamsher Mildred Speaks: The importance of hating yourself

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

Or why you need to hate yourself and how

We all judge people (via), how we dress, the way we comb our hair, little things really, but have you ever noticed how big a deal we can make out of those little things? For instance, a man may walk a certain way or sleep with a certain gender and suddenly people start labeling him “gay”! The reason I bring this up is to highlight the carefully guarded secret that feminists don’t want you to know: Everyone is judging you, that stranger you passed in the street, your parents and loved ones especially.

Now of course a feminazi would suggest that you find a way to have self esteem that didn’t rely on other people’s opinions and judgments of you – but think about that for a second, do you really not want to care whether a stranger thinks you’ve got a fat ass? For one thing, it fails to in anyway deal with the problem at hand – namely your fat ass – and for another, it completely ignores the fact that as a woman you in no way deserve to feel good about yourself.

And that is the most important lesson of all: You are ugly and therefore worthless as a lady. (more…)

World is broken again: Abortion provider accused of “masquerading” as a forced pregnancy center

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

You know those crisis pregnancy centers, those places that will routinely dress themselves up to look like PP clinics and similar places so as to ensure that the maximum number of pregnancy women are, quite literally*, lied to death?

Well one apparently hates logic, sanity and irony more than usual, because they’re sueing an abortion provider for, I fuck you not, pretending to be a crisis pregnancy center. (via)

The fuck? (more…)

Osama Possibly dead: Ravages of Time 1, American Imperialism 0

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

So a leaked memo is saying that the French are saying that the Saudis are saying that Osama may have died of typhoid.

However, this may not be the october surprise that Rove was hinting at.

Nor indeed will it be particularly surprising when the bush admin declares that Osama was killed by a CIA trained death-fetus-Hurricane while he was having gay sex with a baby box turtle and couldn’t possibly have died from Typhoid because The Bush Administration only accepts Germ Theory when it can be better used to scare dipshit midwesterners who’s only connection with terrorism was firebombing a few abortion clinics in the 90’s.

No, the surprise will be when the nation learns that The Bush Adminstration has been granted – by democratic spinelessness adn media blind eye turning – the legal power to kidnap all american citizens, strap them down and duct tape* their eyelids open so that they can be forced to watch Rove doing his infamous version of “Big Brother’s thong wearing and neck flab flapping dance of will breaking totalitarianism” until every single person in america agrees to vote for republicans and appropriately buttsucking democrats.

Which will come as quite surprise to more people than it really should.

* Such is the evil of the bush administration that they would dare to pervert the holy material of duct tape for their evil ways.

Bastards.

I concur: This IS a massive time sucker

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

The seal maker has claimed another victim. (via) (more…)