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No more Lexus SUVs. No more smartphones. No more plastic bags. No more hair gel. No more 60″ HDTVs. No more suburbia, really, because how will people be able to live so far from everything they need?

Hey, I own some of those things; I get that the dream of never-ending consumption built on the backs of people we can’t see is intoxicating for us first-worlders. But the end of the fossil fuel age and its absurd combination of luxury and rapid change is coming whether we like it or not. So why is everyone in the media (and in wingnuttery) so hellfired concerned about us returning our economy to what it was for a few more decades (at best)? Why is that the only lens through which we can talk about getting America “back on track”? Isn’t this track a dead end? Hasn’t everyone admitted it? Why are we trying to recreate this unsustainable economy as fast as possible?

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C’mon Americans, the Fed dropped its rate to .25%! Let’s all ogle the stock market while it wanks off to this latest move that’s sure to be as awesomely effective as every other adorable widdle wate cut.

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Good ol’ America. Land of the free, best country in the world, everyone wishes they were us.

The thing I like most about America is our restrained consumerism.

A Wal-Mart worker died after being trampled when hundreds of shoppers smashed through the doors of a Long Island store Friday morning, police and witnesses said.

The 34-year-old worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.

We really have our priorities, straight, you know? Like, everyone else in the world’s singularly obsessed with $89 digital cameras and $600 HDTVs, but we keep our focus on what really matters in life.

How do I know that? Because we’re always quick to help a soul in need.

Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.

“He was bum-rushed by 200 people,” said Jimmy Overby, 43, a co-worker. “They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too…I literally had to fight people off my back.”

We’re also a nation of sacrifice. Here we are, in the midst of a deep recession-slash-depression, and this thoughtful soul gave his life so that needy multi-national corporations from around the world might see less of a downtick on their 4th quarter earnings reports.

I’m just glad no one slowed down to pick him up. There are only like 20 hours of shopping time on Black Friday and any wasted time could mean a crying kid at home and doom for our economy.

America. We’ve got it alllllll figured out.

It’s happening! It’s happening! And on the weekend of our greatest deals on HDTVs, too!

That’s right, Al-Qaeda, the pseudo-fictional loosely organized Arabic cabal of Cobra Commander fanboys is finally attacking America again!

The FBI has warned New York area law enforcement of a “plausible but unsubstantiated” al Qaeda suicide bomb attack against the area’s commuter rail systems over the holiday.

…plausible, but unsubstantiated? Meaning, what, it hasn’t been ruled out in terms of astrophysical possibility, but neither has anyone actually been found (through illegal means, no doubt) of cooking up a for-reals plot?

In a memo, the FBI said the plot was “aspirational” and based on a report that al Qaeda terrorists “in late September may have discussed targeting transit systems in and around New York City” using suicide bombers or explosives.

Aspirational? That’s even sillier-sounding than plausible but unsubstantiated. What’s next, saying that they just heard a few guys talking about it over a glass of chablis?

A US official said the FBI report had been issued “out of an abundance of caution” and that “there is nothing concrete to suggest the plot went beyond the talking stage.”

…oh, so it really was just a couple dudes talking about it. With no single shred of evidence of an actual plan. This now counts as a helpful warning for American citizens?

Painting top headlines all over the web today and print tomorrow about terroristic fairy tales helps precisely no one. Without other information to go on, all this vague threat will do is drive up prejudice and fear on the trains while having no chance of actually stopping someone from setting off a bomb.

You’d almost think top law enforcement officials feel they need to justify their singular focus on stopping non-existent terrorist attacks to avoid getting canned by a new administration.

But I’m sure that’s just nonsense-talk.

So George Bush wants to tell all:

“I want people to know what it’s like to make some of the decisions I had to make. What was the moment like. I’ve had one of these presidencies where I had to make some tough calls,” said Bush, who has a record low popularity in opinion polls.

Well, folks, here’s a punkassblog exclusive look at the book he’s written about his 8 years in office. It’s fun for the whole family:

So the prez-to-be met with a real modern day war criminal, by which I mean President Bush.

I remember feeling so amazed that Stephen Colbert had the guts back in 2006 to actually call Bush out as the disaster that he is right to his face when no one else had done it to that point (and maybe no one has again).

I’m sure Barack Obama played nice when he sat down with Dubya in a rare private chat, but it got me thinking about how incredible it would be to have 15 minutes alone with the man to do or say whatever you want. Now, I’m sure physical violence would come to mind for many if they were alone with Bush, but since I’m pretty sure the NSA scans this site, let’s take that off the table.

If you were alone with Bush, what would you say to him? Would you drill him with questions to ascertain whether he’s evil or just a dumb pawn? Would you lambast him for his role in the deaths of millions? What would you do?

I think if it were me, I would try to find a photo of every dead civilian in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Syria, and everywhere else he’s left his bloody trail and have them delivered by the truckload directly into the Oval office during our conversation. I’d try to bring as many family members of the people who’ve died with me, and let them talk to Bush. I’d put him face to face with the crimes he can put out of his head all too easily. And if he started to cry, I’d finally accept he was human.

Google removed us because someone had hacked PAB and posted embedded porn links in the code. Booo. Links removed, re-indexing requested, we’ll see how it goes.

When Google doesn’t acknowledge you on the web, it’s like you don’t exist. That kind of power is scary.

I’ve now updated to the super-latest for everything WordPress-related, so lemme know if you see anything funky…

Community organizer. That was somehow turned into a slur against Obama by the Rudy Giulianis of the world. Now comes rabid paranoia over the Obama plan to make community service part of education curriculum. Unsurprisingly, they even drop the S word:

“Obama will call on citizens of all ages to serve America, by developing a plan to require 50 hours of community service in middle school and high school and 100 hours of community service in college every year.”

Read more here.

http://www.change.gov/americaserves/

I say that a plan to (REQUIRE) people to serve is not voluteerism but slavery.

Now that we have a black president, it didn’t take long for us to graduate from the nonsensical concept of ‘reverse racism’ to the nonsensical concept of ‘reverse slavery.’ Admittedly, he didn’t stick the useless, inaccurate word ‘reverse’ in front if it, but surely the author intended for readers to frightfully imagine white people shackled together picking up trash alongside the road while the massa forces them to toil away for The (Black) Man.

Using Quin’s concept of What If Bush Did It?, what if McCain had required this kind of service? You think conservatives would be dropping the word ‘slavery’ into the discussion? And don’t we require kids to go to school and do things like PE already? How is this any different? Nay, this is all about the resentment of having a black man tell someone what to do, like he was the goddamn president or something.

I’m sure if Obama required all 18-22 year-olds to serve in the military these folks would swoon in the loin area. After all, hasn’t mandatory military service been part of the reactionary agenda for some time? God forbid children (especially those receiving a public education) instead be required to find ways to give back to their community. Oops, there’s that word again. I guess it’s better to send people for killing training (and actual killing) than to have them spend a couple days a year with seniors or cleaning up parks.

The idea of mandatory service while in school is actually kinda shocking, but in a good way. I am sure plenty of kids will get nothing out of the experience, but I am equally certain a number of kids (especially suburban ones) will have eye-opening experiences that increase their tolerance and understanding and enthusiasm regarding the people and places around them — especially those that need help. And where’s the downside in that?

We live in a greedy, me-first country that’s grown increasingly angry at the thought of having to share time and money. A plan like this just might make a dent in that attitude in a generation. Talk about a long-term consciousness shift…

Ahmadinejad breaks new ground after Obama’s win:

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has offered his congratulations to Barack Obama on his presidential win.

It is the first official message of goodwill presented to an American leader by the Islamic Republic.

Now, obviously this is a complex situation and I have no love for the philosophy of Iran’s theocracy. Ahmadinejad has his own agenda with this message, and there will still be tons of pressure from within the US government to pursue an antagonistic relationship with Iran. But you can’t ignore the amazing first step of an Iranian leader speaking positively about and to an American leader. And since we already know that Obama will engage in direct diplomacy with Iran, this has a real chance of decreasing the odds of war. Just the likelihood that we will see substantive discussions occur is exciting and ought to be a moment of relief for those of us who dread more fighting.

This first from Iran is just further evidence of how Obama’s presidency is viewed as a fundamental shift in US policy abroad. And sometimes perception becomes reality, because when people believe things can change, everyone starts acting a little differently. Combine that with Obama’s commitment to diplomacy and I think we might just see cool heads prevail for a while.

It seems the Republicans are going online to solve their strategy woes:

Republicans, Duncan said, “are going to take a deep breath and listen to the American people.” The party is creating a new online forum that will allow people to explain “how we let them down” and “what we can do to restore confidence in our party,” he said.

Okay, so I’ve traveled to a few online forums before. And maybe all the normies hang out online and sip their digital Starbucks on tons of forum sites and I just haven’t found them. But if you made me name one place were all the kookiest people with the worst ideas and least contact with reality hang out, I would have to say online forums. Especially Republican ones.

If the Republicans seriously expect answers from anonymous posters like hawt4Palin and NukeEmAllJeezus2k12, then we should see them run their new platform from such valuable insights as:

• Women’s suffrage cost them the election, so take it back.
• Ending the cold war cost them the election, so bring it back.
• Deputize the Minutemen and issue them gatling guns.
• Socialism is code for blackism. Drop the code.
• NO TAXES EVR OMGZOGLORFMG.
• All future military invasions must be led by Dog the Bounty Hunter
• Don’t just ban abortion, ban birth control. And fucking.
• The gold standard is the future of economics.
• We need mandatory exorcisms for gays.
• Jack Bauer is the can’t-miss candidate in 2012.

I mean, they *could* just drop all the social control bullshit and go for the greedy+warmonger vote, but then they might actually win something again.

My dear friend Quin and I have had some heated off-line discussions the last few weeks about politics, human nature, imperialism, and this whole mess we call the world. And when I say heated, I mean I have sometimes been sent into a blinding rage over what I consider his flawed view of how to approach change. [Qunno, please accept this public apology for what I said I would do to the headless corpses of your ancestors. That *might* have been going too far.]

Quin and I agree on many things. We agree that the Democrats are still a party filled with corporate sympathizers. We agree that US imperialism is running rampant and that Obama has been clear about continuing its imperialist tendencies (particularly in Pakistan and debatably in Iran). We agree that radical, fundamental change is needed if we are to ever get out of this worldwide cycle of perpetual war and poverty that we’ve been in since… well… forever.

But we disagree over whether a vote for someone like Obama can or should be made in the face of these truths. After all, how can one vote for a person who will authorize mass murder? What does it matter is a few thousand people might be helped when a few million people might suffer?

Quin was moved by our discussion to post on it, but as we exchanged emails about the idea, I became uncomfortable with him making my case for me as he tears it apart. His case on the blog has been well-made while talking about the failings of a potential Obama administration, and so I figured I ought to pop on and make my case for why anti-imperialists ought to vote Obama.

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