PunkAssBlog.com

Back for my weekly cry. Hold me.
Forgive me for being spare around here lately. I haven’t been well. As of this week my fellow trainees and I discovered at Customer Service Hell Co. that they plan on hiring a new batch of people next month — but they aren’t using a [...]

“My TV isn’t working.”
Is it plugged in?
“Oh. Ha.”
You’d better be fucking-ha happy that it’s time for my smoke break, asstard.

Training on the phones at Big Media Provider Co.
“I need to transfer my service at 123 Main Street to 345 Elm Street.”
I would do that for you ma’am, but I see you have an outstanding balance of $322.27 on your account, and you will have to pay that in full before I can disconnect your [...]

Work is bad for you:
Sydney University academic Dr Caroline West says while work delivers self-esteem, income and social ties, more than four to six hours a day will bring anxiety, exhaustion and a poor quality of life.
“We’ve structured our lives so the majority of our waking life is devoted to work, which might bring us [...]

Training on the phones at Big Media Provider Co.
“Yeah, hi. I have some questions about my bill.”
Okay, ma’am, I just need you to verify your name and the last four digits of your social security number. Oh, I’m sorry. I see the primary holder of this account did not add any additional [...]

Training on the phones at Big Media Provider Co.
“I would like to upgrade my services with the Sports and Lifestyles Package.”
I can’t do that for you, ma’am, because your husband did not put your name on this account.
“My husband has been dead for sixteen years.”
…
“Hello?”
Let me transfer you to my supervisor.

By Frank O’Hara
click picture to embiggen
Now that our hero has come back to us
in his white pants and we know his nose
trembling like a flag under fire,
we see the calm cold river is supporting
our forces, the beautiful history.
To be more revolutionary than a nun
is our desire, to be secular and intimate
as, when sighting [...]

Training on the phones at Big Media Provider Co.
“I just got my bill, and I have to tell you that I am astonished that you have charged all this filth to my account. I would never order something like Hillbilly Honies or, Jesus, Fluffy Cumsalot.”
I’m sorry about that, Faux Disgruntled Customer. Are there [...]

1. Lenny Kravitz - Empty Hands
2. Angry Samoans - I’m a Pig
3. New Kingdom - Good Times
4. Animal Collective - College
5. Psapp - King of You
6. Sole - A Typical
7. Clutch - Bacchanal
8. Deadbolt - She’s a Snake
9. Minor Threat - Straight Edge
10. Clutch [...]

By Stephen Dunn
To hold a damaged sparrow
under water until you feel it die
is to know a small something
about the mind; how, for example,
it blames the cat for the original crime,
how it wants praise for its better side.
And yet it’s as human
as pulling the plug on your Dad
whose world has turned
to feces and fog, human as–
Well, [...]

Happy birthday, baby. I love you.

1) Jens Lekman - Draw a Dinosaur For Me
2) Jason Brouwer - Run Me Out of Town
3) Br. Danielson - Your Daughters Will Tune You
4) Gogol Bordello - Start Wearing Purple
5) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Crow Jane
6) Elvis Presley - [...]