i. At one job I spend all day listening to how gay people are teh suck. At the other job I hear how gross it is to be Jewish, Mexican, and/or Negro. But we ain’t no bigots. We are the Eggman.
ii. Looking at two potential jobs. Both would pay me more. One is another temp gig at a place I could grow to like, the other is a big fatty secret with a big fatty paycheck. Which I probably won’t get.
iii. I fear that being required to show up at work every morning at 8am could be what is keeping me from more professional employment. 9am is a better fit for a burgeoning alcoholic-workaholic. The brown cow says, “And how!”
iv. New manager at Big Media Co. is changing the work shifts, leaving the temps with the worst hours, of course. No overtime, working weekends, training occurs on my “days off.”
v. With the new hours at Big Media Co. I will not be able to keep Job #2. I am not sad, but Sallie Mae sure is.
vi. My bank account wept when I told it the news.
vii. The conference room at Job #1 a) puts me to sleep or b) makes me sneeze.
viii. But no matter. All meetings are soon to be abolished. From now on, if we have a question about work protocol, we are to writer our supervisors an email and they will post an answer to our questions in a big white answer book which we are to read on our own time.
ix. One of my coworkers was fired this week when she said she couldn’t work Saturdays. I can count four people not including me who are presently looking for different jobs.
x. Really. Why don’t we get drunk and screw? Can I taste the Milky Way?


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