when the status quo frustrates.

Starting off the week…

Monday, July 19th, 2010

My life has been hectic lately…er, by “lately” I mean for like the past two years or something…actually, when has my life not been hectic..? When I was in the womb? More accurately, my life has been hectic lately in ways that have prompted me into intense rounds of self-analysis and discovery.

When I’m feeling cool about this, I imagine myself as a butterfly still trapped in her cocoon–I was a worthy caterpillar! but further journeys of transformation, to always more accurately perceive the world around me and do with my life what is truly the worthiest and best use I can put to it, called me out of my more comfortable form. The process has been painful and destructive in many ways, but the end result will be more than worth it.

When I am NOT feeling cool about this, I want to kick my own ass around the block for not appreciating what I had prior to all this upheaval anywhere near as much as I ought and also wonder why I am clearly one of those people who just has to pee on the electric fence for herself to learn some of life’s lessons. This is when I ponder the conundrum that is intelligence versus wisdom, and why one doesn’t automatically lead to the other–

The reason I bring all of this up is that it is partly to blame for why I have mostly ceased blogging–I have lost the surety of my convictions in too many areas that I used to blog so confidently about. It doesn’t seem like a stretch to suppose that nobody’s too interested in reading me express meandering thoughts that go nowhere. (The other reasons were that for several months I was unable to sit for any length of time at a computer due to a very stupid back problem that was happily surgically resolved a few months ago, and that when I do sit at the computer, I am either working on changing my employment status from “couch potato” to “salaried” or I am slowly refinding my way back into my fiction writing.) BUT, based upon encouragement from my fellow absentee blogger Quin, I have decided to at least attempt to get back into the blogging saddle. I do kinda miss it, you know. Nothing like getting to exercise a pithy clever phrase or twenty while also expounding upon matters that are very close to the heart!

But I am going to start slowly, because as I said, oftentimes nowadays, I find myself not only unsure of what I want to say, but even that I want to say it. So I will simply present a handful of fleeting impressions from last week…passing thoughts and observations…and see how that pans out.

Name: Olivia Munn
Indifference level (mine, anyway): medium-high

Synopsis: I had never heard of her before The Daily Show dustup. I had and still have no opinion about the sexism or lack thereof of The Daily Show’s hiring process–to me, they certainly don’t seem to have less women running around than any other show, but then again, the amount of attention I pay to TV shows in general could be measured by a thimble. However, I did find this distasteful enough that I am disinclined to check her out on The Daily Show anytime soon:

“I never tried to use anything besides my own sweat and blood and talent to get somewhere. I think that anyone who’s out there trying to bring down why any woman would get anywhere, or why we’re different, just needs to f**king turn her f**king computer off, take the sandwich out of her mouth and go for a goddamn f**king walk. You know what? Just walk it off, bitch. Just walk it off, bitch.”

Yes, Olivia, my concerns aren’t really about sexism in hiring practices. Really, I’m just jealous because you are so, so hot. Yes, that must be it. That’s why I complain about Sarah Palin, too, because she is hot and I only wish I was hot like her. And you. Being hot is so, so, so…cool! Yes, that’s IT! And I also wish I was married again, because it’s been almost a whole year since I was last married and I think I’m having withdrawal symptoms–

(ahem)

Anyway, next:

Name: Mark Williams, right-wing radio talk show dude and spokesperson for the Tea Party Express, whateverthehell that is (I had to look it up)
Amazement at sheer chutzpah level: Stratospheric
(addendum: amazement that he got shunned by his homies in the fallout: Stratospheric, but in a good way this time)

Synopsis:I mean, did you read the thing he wrote..? It’s hard for me to believe he was actually trying to rebutt the NAACP’s resolution condemning Tea Party racism. Honestly, about the only thing he could have done that would have been more of a statement of “Damn right niggaz, we ARE racist and here’s why!” would have been to, well, just say “Damn right niggaz etc. etc!”

Name: BP’s Gulf oil spewing madness
My personal ability to do anything about it: nonexistent
My faith in the likely success of BP’s latest attempt to cap it: nonexistent

Synopsis:It’s gross and not entirely unexpected and I’m sorry for it, but mostly I find myself still wondering why people object so strenuously to nuclear power. Anybody out there have strong feelings on the subject..? If so, feel free to share them with me.

Updated to add: What I should’ve said was, anybody out there have strong feelings on the subject whose opinions on it are based on actual fact as opposed to not having a clue what they’re talking about? In other words, if you think nuclear reactor waste remains toxic for 4 billion years, or you think that fission or thermonuclear bombs are made out of nuclear reactor waste, or you don’t know that petroleum as fuel and petroleum products are both extensively used to make weapons, you are not being asked to comment. As a matter of fact, you are being asked not to comment. Thank you!–The Management

19.07.2010 Punkass! 11 Comments

I Know I Said I Would Write Something And Post It If You Did, Quin, But You Weren’t Supposed To Whip Out Two New Posts Less Than Two Hours After I Said That

Friday, July 16th, 2010

Here, watch this while I write something.

16.07.2010 Punkass! 1 Comment

Mushrooms, not better carrots

Friday, July 16th, 2010

I haven’t paid money for a computer game for about a decade, but I am seriously tempted by Farmcraft 2: Global Vegetable Crisis.

Ginger’s story is part mystery, part success story: some of the time she’s working diligently against difficult odds to bolster the people who depend on her, and the rest of the time she’s trying to figure out what is going on in the world’s agricultural markets.

In the end, that means rejecting the lifestyle and game structure that has brought us this far. The bad guys sort of win — that is, they get rich at the expense of others, and they also save the world from disaster (one which they engineered in the first place). Ginger gives up farming and joins a monastery in Tibet, where she spends the rest of her life looking for inner truth. This is the happy ending.

The search for better ways to grow carrots (which has been occupying us for most of the game, really) is recognized as meaningless or, at worst, actively damaging. The urge towards relentless business expansion has driven down prices to unsustainable levels and brought the world agriculture market to the verge of collapse.

This final transition away from farming and the whole capitalist rat race is framed in terms of the desire for enlightenment and discovery… with a side of mind-altering chemicals, as Ginger has to collect 12 mushrooms in order to gain insight into her life.

16.07.2010 Gaming, The Garden Party 1 Comment

Old Folks

Friday, July 16th, 2010

The other day I did a volunteer show at a local old person’s day center. A guitarist I know works there, and that was handy, because he knew all the songs they would like. He warned me not to get too jazzy with my piano stylings — so I stayed pretty bland and inoffensive (at first, anyway). The staff put the lyrics up on a big board, and everyone sang along. They really sang, these old folks! Music gives us life.

Most of the audience were in their 80s and 90s, with a sprinkling of younger tykes in their fresh faced 70s or even younger. We played for one hour, then I talked a little bit with the audience. I was a bit of a novelty for them. One of the very oldest wanted me to come over and shake her hand, so I did. Pretty soon I was shaking the hands of everyone in the room. Men and women all wanted me. I was like Santa Claus. Some of their eyes teared up as I held their hands. One woman gripped my hand like a vice– surprising strength– and shook it back and forth as she sang me an up-tempo song I couldn’t understand (my Japanese isn’t quite there yet), then blew me a kiss. One pulled me over, then gestured for a female nurse I didn’t know to come over, and pointed at her belly, and proudly said “She’s pregnant.”

I don’t think there is any special magic to me that got these kind of strong and sometimes childlike reactions. It’s nice to think I am particularly good or virtuous, but that’s just not it. I bet it’s the same anytime anyone from outside comes in and does a similar kind of activity with them. I think it’s just that some of these old folks are starving. The only thing I can think of that would make me cry from a handshake with a complete stranger is if I just didn’t get enough handshakes.

I’m not sure whose fault it is, exactly. It’s easy to blame it on the culture which worships youth, but then again, “culture” is a gestalt, not really decided by anyone in particular. In a way, if there’s a youth culture which ignores old people, the old people are the ones who helped to put it in place. Few of us like to think about getting old, and surely they were no exception back before suddenly they were.

My grandfather died about five years ago. A couple of years before he died, due to problems with mobility and internal juiciness (I think that’s the technical term, anyhow), he had to start wearing a diaper again. He had an “accident” once while I was visiting with family. He was a very taciturn man, so what he said to me in the aftermath got branded into my memory. “It sucks getting old,” he said.

He was right, of course. And let’s not also forget that age needn’t even come into play for life to suck and then you die. But then again, if you spin it right, this fact can be a genuine source of strength.

(EDIT: That last link should have been this one. However, the one I put by mistake is also excellent.)

Here’s the great Ben Webster and Teddy Wilson playing the jazz standard “Old Folks”. Ben Webster is crying as he plays because he had just learned that his mentor Johnny Hodges was dead. It’s an extraordinary moment to have actually ended up on film.

16.07.2010 Jazz is Dead, Music, Philosophisizining No Comments

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