When I was a little girl, one of my favorite children’s books was The Case of the Marble Monster and Other Tales of Ooka the Wise. I don’t know if this was a staple of too many other American kids’ childhoods (nobody else has ever mentioned it in my hearing) but I loved it, and one of my favorite stories was when Ooka, a judge, heard a case against a poor student living above a fish cookshop. Every day the student smelled the delicious odors of frying fish which he said helped flavor the plain bowl of rice which was all he could afford to eat. The cookshop owner was incensed and insisted that he be paid restitution by the student for “stealing the smell” of his cooking fish. Ooka deliberated, then instructed the student to pass a handful of coins from one hand to the other several times until they clinked merrily together, then told the cookshop owner he’d been paid. The cookshop owner angrily demanded how that was possible, since the student had given him no money, and Ooka told him that “the price of the smell of food is the sound of money” and then dismissed the case.
So I was reading yet another article about the Arizona immigration circus, this one about the hearings going on right now in federal court by challengers to the new law, and remembering reading about the possibility that parts, not all, of the law would be struck down–and then, like a flash of light, it hit me. I know how to fix the “show me your papers” part of the law, which is a grotesque violation of civil rights. Give Arizona law enforcement the power to ask anyone anytime what their citizenship is–keep that part. Just change the papers part to allowing a verbal or visual affirmative response to confirm any questionee’s legal status. Like this:
Arizona cop: Are you a legal citizen of the United States?
Brown-skinned person who was totes not profiled prior to being stopped: Fuck yeah.
Arizona cop: Well, then you’re free to go, sir. Have a nice day.
See? All teddy bears and rainbows. 