Amazon wowed and amazed us this week with their stunning ability to shoot themselves right in the feet, and while I haven’t seen what the formal resolution to that problem was yet, the general consensus was that they seemed to be trying to do something only moderately shady and fucked up hardcore. On Sunday the interwebs were furious, and by Tuesday they were begging Amazon to just fix the problem and give us a plausible mea culpa so that we could go back to loving them once again.
Unfortunately, they didn’t love us enough to give us even a plausible lie, and now people like my roommate, who care not for GLTB literature but do care about getting fucked on the internet, are seeking out – and finding – new reasons to never trust any Internet business that isn’t NewEgg.com.
A careful review of your account indicates that you have required refunds on a large majority of your orders for a variety of reasons.
In the normal course of business, the occasional problem is inevitable. The rate at which such problems have occurred on your account is extraordinary, however, and cannot continue. Effective immediately, your Amazon.com account is closed and you are no longer able to shop in our store.
There are so many things wrong with this, I feel sure there must be an error:
…3) I am now unable to access archived copies of the Kindle books I’ve purchased legally, and have no other way to legally purchase DRM’ed books on the device.
4) I also have no access to videos I have purchased from Amazon.
5) Since I can’t contact customer service, I cannot get any warranty service for my current Kindle, and the email explicitly states I can’t return anything (not that I’d want to!)
I’ve never had to return anything to Amazon, because I rarely return books and so far I’ve had good luck with non-book purchases, but this would make me pause before purchasing more from them. Returning too many products makes your Kindle not work? That seems a tad harsh. After all, not all Amazon retailers are selling top-quality merchandise (it’s easy to buy crappy electronics when searching for the best deals) and Kindles are not cheap. At any rate, heavy Amazon users might be well advised to look carefully at the terms of service before deciding to stick with what they know. I know I don’t often return things, but I’ve also stopped shopping at box stores if I heard too many scare stories about excessive banning of so-called expensive customers, and I don’t see myself making an exception for the internet stores.
Oh god, the comments on that thread, too. Variation after variation on
“I don’t really feel that bad for people that get their account closed. I know for a fact there is a certain type of customer who is trigger-happy about returning stuff. They feel it is their God-given right to return anything and everything they buy.”
This after dozens of reassurances from the OP that only a couple of demonstrably defective items were returned, initially for replacement rather than refund, etc.
There’s a certain personality type that will literally swallow anything a corporation feeds them, and I just don’t understand it.
Um, we do have a right to return defective products. Aside from I shouldn’t have to pay money for something falsely representative, it’s good business to have a happy customer. Idiots; those corporate overlords you’re hot to have are not benevolent.