So one of the agents I queried has written back and said she would be “VERY HAPPY!” to review my novel!!!
Later I will sternly remind myself that she may still totally hate the thing in its entirety and the fact that she is expressing interest in it really doesn’t mean that much–the agency has a blog where they say they receive over 150 queries a week and only accept 25 of them at the most, which means I did hit the good end of the odds already! BUT this is still no guarantee that the novel itself will catch fire with them, so to speak. So, no getting overexcited here, folks–calm, cool and collected, that’s me.
Ha! Who am I kidding? I’m E-C-S-T-A-T-I-C!
Really, though, I won’t lose touch with reality. This may all turn out to be nothing much in the long run.
But it’s still pretty neat. 
And it is a step in the right direction!
Congrats! Let us know how it goes.
I recently took a creative writing course from Robert Hilles and he recommended me this book and this website. I’m not published (yet) but I feel that these resources helped my writing improve, and I think they could help you too.
I read what you posted of The Wall” on GoddessCassandra’s blog. And -I honestly hope you don’t take offense to this- I don’t think it’s quite ready for submission yet.
I’m going to offer some feedback here (this is nothing against you, I really enjoy your nonfiction writing here on Punkassblog and want to read your book when it’s done):
*It’s a general rule not to start the story with dialogue. (i.e: “Oh poopie” Susan said, ect.) It doesn’t make for a good hook. Why not open with a short description of the mess hall environment, or Joni reacting to the new guy’ entrance.
*It’s generally a good idea to keep adjectives to a minimal, try to remove as much as you can that ends in “-ly”
*Do they really use the terms “noob” and “squadmate” so often at boot-camp? Is this sci-fi and take place in the future where such terms would be used?
*I want to know the name of the “one of Joni’s squadmates” mentioned in the first paragraph.
*There’s the odd grammatical error (wrong punctuation marks, starting a new paragraph in the wrong place) but nothing having a buddy proofread won’t fix.
*Repetition can be a good thing, but try to avoid redundancy. (“‘look’ Joni looked.” and the “white” guy’s whiteness).
*I’d like to know more about what the “white” guy looks like. Is he lanky? butch? tall? short? hair color? ect.
You did a good job portraying Joni as the protagonist of the story. I like how you have the story follow her and describe Joni’s reaction to the new guy.
Don’t feel bad. (you should see some of my stuff I’ve submitted to magazines). Your book can benefit from some workshopping with other amateur writers.
Don’t give up. The agent will give you better advice than I ever could. Can’t wait to read it when it’s finished.
Keep on keepin’ on,
The Cynic Sage
For this one–”*There’s the odd grammatical error (wrong punctuation marks, starting a new paragraph in the wrong place) but nothing having a buddy proofread won’t fix.” Those happened in transit from me pasting into email and Antigone pasting into her blog, along with a few other formatting issues you don’t mention. Those aren’t in the original; it’s all good as far as technical issues go in its submission form.
For this one–”*I’d like to know more about what the “white” guy looks like. Is he lanky? butch? tall? short? hair color? ect.” Those details are actually provided, height and build more than once, in the story excerpt posted–you musta missed ‘em.
For this one–”*Do they really use the terms “noob” and “squadmate” so often at boot-camp? Is this sci-fi and take place in the future where such terms would be used?” Yes, I can tell you from both first and second-hand experience, they do. Actually, real military personnel sometimes get so thick with the military slang that a civilian would never be able to understand them–I toned it down quite a bit from the reality. I have worried that I still used too much and would confuse the non-military reader.
It does take place in the future–if they don’t use those specific terms, they’d use others just as often–military slang has been around since at least the Roman empire. I’d rather use current ones than make up entirely new words; I know there are some writers who do well making up words, but I ain’t one of ‘em, unfortunately.
For this one: “*It’s a general rule not to start the story with dialogue. (i.e: “Oh poopie” Susan said, ect.) It doesn’t make for a good hook. Why not open with a short description of the mess hall environment, or Joni reacting to the new guy’ entrance.” I will totally take that into consideration; it sounds like a thought worthy of consideration.
For this one: “*It’s generally a good idea to keep adjectives to a minimal, try to remove as much as you can that ends in “-ly”” Oh, that’s my Achilles heel–I will go over the story yet again and trim on those AGAIN–that’s an issue I have in my blog-writing too, you may’ve noticed.
For this one: “*I want to know the name of the “one of Joni’s squadmates” mentioned in the first paragraph.” I don’t agree; I think it would be irrelevant and distracting.
For this one: “*Repetition can be a good thing, but try to avoid redundancy. (”‘look’ Joni looked.” and the “white” guy’s whiteness).” I don’t think this is a problem, especially because in at least once instance, the second repetition is italicized and just didn’t make it through all the cutting, pasting and sending. As for the whiteness, there are reasons for her repetitiveness of his skin color–in this setting, it makes him a freak.
I don’t feel bad! I NEED constructive criticism.
The only thing I’d like to avoid from anyone is an outright “Oh this just sucks, keep your day job!” That doesn’t really help me improve my writing, you know? Luckily, nobody has been so mean and cruel as yet.
And Cynic, thank you again for the constructive criticism! I really do appreciate it.
And also thank you to everyone who read it; even though it makes my very soul cringe to expose my writing to the public eye, I really appreciate you all taking the time.
Lisa, congratulations! Step by step, inch by inch…
On “The Wall”– personally, I would have been comfortable with much more military lingo. You’re right, too much might be offputting– but you were far beneath my own threshold in that regard.
I’m going to save any other comments I might have for after I’ve read the whole story. Purely cosmetic criticism has its place, but there’s not much point in applying the mascara unless you know what the whole face looks like, so to speak.
Quin–it does look like I shouldn’t put the whole thing out on the web, from what info I’ve been able to garner–that does make it problematic in terms of getting someone to buy it later.
However, I will totally email you the whole thing shortly.
That’s wonderful! The part you posted is, in fact, quite lovely. I want to read more. *^.^*
Lisa, Do you want me to take it down from my website? Oh, and you better send me the second half.
Nope, excerpts are totally okay, apparently!
I will send you and Quin both the second half.
And Vi too if she wants!
Oh, I just saw this. Yes, please.