So, Ann and I are poking about, looking for lunchboxes suitable to house her new computer. We came across a mind-blowing amount of Disney merchandise, some miscellaneous transformers paraphernalia, some cute retro designs… and this.
One of the greatest adventures on–(sic) or under–the seven seas, this charming, lively tale based on Hans Christian Anderson’s beloved children’s story comes to splendid life ini an enchanting animated film. The beautiful and adventurous mermaid, Princess Lena, lives with her family in a watery castle and has everything she could ever need, but she longs for only one thing; to explore the world of humans. Determined to marry Prince Stefan, whom she sees when a whirlpool takes her to the surface, Princess Lena must turn to the evil sea witch Cassandra and pay a heavy price for her promise of help.—Description of The Little Mermaid
I’m sure I’ve seen that movie. I just… can’t quite place it.
I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that the parallel Christian universe has a parallel Disney (or two), producing parallel ripoffs of stories in the (not actually parallel) public domain. Glancing at IMDB, it looks like American Film Investment Corporation—a fine, upstanding studio, I’m sure—may have lost the race against Disney to produce The Little Mermaid (by five years), and Pinoccio (by a piddling fifty-three years), but they actually just beat Warner Brothers to Thumbelina and Dreamworks to Sinbad.
Along with The Little Mermaid, you also get two double features: Sleeping Beauty / Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella / Snow White. With animation quality that’s merely gut-wrenchingly terrible and, I’m sure, writing to match, what’s not to love?
Going off this post’s title, I was going to present a nifty toy I heard about over the weekend: It’s a dildo meant to be worn for penetrative sex. The cool thing is that it doesn’t rely on a strap-on: one end is angled and has a large-ish ball—you (if you’re penetrating) put it in your vagina, and hold it there with your PC muscles (you’ve been doing your Kegels, right?). (Non-vagina-possessing individuals can also penetrate with it, provided they can hold the ball comfortably in their ass.)
I wanted to have pictures and links and everything, but, sadly, a bit of cursory searching (“strap on without the strap,” “PC muscle strap-on ball,” etc) didn’t turn up anything, and honestly, I was becoming a little concerned about the search results that were coming back. Since, um, I was doing this at work.
But I’ll be home soon, so I’m trying an appeal to y’all:
What are these toys called, and where might I find them? They sound quite lovely.