when the status quo frustrates.

Mmm, Babies! They Stay Crunchy in Milk.

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

I like babies. They’re cute. I have about 50,000 pictures of my sons as babies and with the slightest encouragement, especially after a glass of wine or two, I will happily haul them out of the closet and make you admire each and every one of them.

However, I am pro-choice. I say “however” because clearly, there is a fair contingent of people out there who genuinely believe that people who are pro-choice don’t give a rat’s ass about babies. Sometimes, they even seem to believe that what pro-choice people really, secretly want to do is rend and splatter as many babies as possible limb from limb, and the only reason women are out there still getting abortions is because they just don’t realize that that’s what abortion is really all about. For example:

Oklahoma’s new [abortion] statute dictates that either the doctor performing the abortion or a “certified technician working in conjunction” with that doctor do the ultrasound, “provide a simultaneous explanation of what the ultrasound is depicting,” and also “display the ultrasound images so that the pregnant woman may view them.” The law goes so far as to specify the doctor’s script: The physician must describe the heartbeat and the presence of internal organs, fingers, and toes.

Widdle fingers and toesies! (ahem) I repeat, WIDDLE FINGERS AND TOESIES!!!!! To be smashed, crushed, torn, shredded into bloody BITS!!!!

Next up! Addendum to the statute: “Doctor (or a certified technician working in conjuction with doctor) must describe embryo’s desperate screams of ‘No, Mommy! Noooo! Don’t let them rip me apart, Mommy! I love you!’”

(Sigh.)

Usually, I’ve tried to shoot for compassion in my dealings with the pro-life mentality. As I said, I like babies and I think they’re cute. However, I’ve noticed that with the passage of years, my patience has shrunken gradually down to, well. The size of an eight-week old embryo. This big: ——-.

I’ve gone into great detail about my abortion stance and my feelings about the pro-life stance on more than one occasion already; I won’t rehash them yet again. I believe, though, that I am officially “done” with attempting to extend any sort of respect at all towards those who self-identify as “pro-life.” Seriously, why should I extend respect to people that have codified it into law that they have not only no respect, but anti-respect for those who self-identify as “pro-choice?” That does not mean that I will cease to extend respect towards those who personally would choose to never have an abortion; that is an eminently respectable position. It definitely doesn’t mean I will cease to extend compassion to any woman who was pressured into or otherwise regrets her abortion; that is a personal, not political, matter. However, anyone who affiliates himself or herself with any group of persons seeking to pass legislation that restricts, in any way, the right of women to choose..? I consider you fair game the minute you open your mouth (or heat up your keyboard) to say so. Be warned.

23.10.2008 Bodily Autonomy, Lick My Jackboots of Love, Purposefully Inflammatory, Reproductive Rights, Rights? What rights?, Soapbox, What Patriarchy? 26 Comments

…Maybe A Little “Projecting” Going On Here…

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

If you haven’t seen this, you should check it out. If you don’t have the time to watch the whole thing, here’s the summary:

Guy below: “Feminists hate Sarah Palin because she’s ATTRACTIVE and HAPPY!”

“And shit, don’t I know all about hating attractive, happy people or what.”

22.10.2008 Douchebag on Feminism 36 Comments

Right.

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

My younger son just handed me a permission slip for his school’s sixth grade Friday Halloween dance. While I was dutifully filling out the “contact information” and signing it, I couldn’t help but notice his stifled giggles. “What?” I asked as I handed the permission slip over.

“Mom,” he said, “you didn’t read the information sheet attached to it yet!” Unable to contain himself further, he shouted out, “I’m not allowed to show any CLEAVAGE!”

Nope, he sure isn’t!–as a matter of fact, the information sheet has a highlighted, bolded section at the very bottom, entitled “Administration’s Costume Guidelines for October 24, 2008 Sixth Grade Dance.” Beneath it is listed the costume restrictions:

1. Not too short
2. No fake weapons
3. Not provocative
4. No Cleavage
5. No under garments showing

(Capitalization untouched from the original.)

Too short? Not provocative? No CLeVaGe? No undergarments showing..? Gee. What too short a costume could my eleven-year-old son possibly wear? What “under garments” are we talking about here–his boxers? And what the fuck is a provocative costume on an eleven year old–

OH, oh, oh–they’re not talking about what BOYS might be wearing! (slaps forehead)

I find the guidelines raise far more questions than they answer. To wit:

1. How many eleven-year-old girls have any cleavage to speak of? One or two at most?
2. Of all the others, if any part of their breastbone is showing in the costume, does the Administration get to humiliate them publicly and send them home for showing Cleavage?
3. What Administrators are finding anything any eleven-year-old girl wears, up to and including nothing at all, so provocative that that was the adjective that sprang to mind when formulating these guidelines?
4. If I show up to the school to chaperone, as they are begging parents to do elsewhere in the information sheet, can I bring a fake weapon and smack the Administration with it?
5. On second thought, can I just wear a “burqa” costume and tape copies of the guidelines all over the outside and hand out fliers for Pedophiliacs Anonymous instead?

21.10.2008 FUCKING IDIOTS, Shame on you for being a woman, Wankers 17 Comments

When World of Warcraft Goes Bad

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Perhaps because of the recent large patch download in preparation for the second WoW expansion pack, Wrath of the Lich King (be still my beating heart!), I and my gaming buddy have been witnessing an unusually high number of glitches. Most of them are just annoying, but there have been a couple of rather fascinating ones.

(more…)

21.10.2008 Punkass!, Gaming, World of Warcraft 7 Comments

Live From Glenn Sacks’s Blog: Child Custody, Part Two

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Part Two of my two-part series on child custody after divorce is up over at Glenn Sacks’s “Feminist Dissident.” As before, to allow those who wish to examine Part Two from a feminist-friendly perspective to actually be able to do so in a constructive fashion, the fabulous violet and I will be heavily moderating any comments made about the article over here on this thread at PAB. (PS: If you were banned from the comment thread of Part One, you are not automatically banned from the comment thread of Part Two unless you repeat your Part One behavior.)

Forbidden: ad feminam statements and wild generalizations about what women believe or do and what feminists believe or do. Also, if I or the fabulous violet (or any other PAB moderator) ban you, that’s all she wrote, folks. Arguing about somebody else’s ban or about the fact that these particular threads are under any moderation scheme at all will only allow you the opportunity to share the solidarity of the Hypnotoad.

Allowed: reasoned, polite argument, based in accurate reporting of facts and people’s previous statements, and civil answers to direct questions.

20.10.2008 Family, Feminism, Men's Rights Activism 25 Comments

You Offend Me

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

As soon as I saw this, I knew I had to read the rest:

Study the topic of “taking offense” and you realize people are like tuning forks, ready to vibrate with indignation. So why do humans seem equipped with a thrumming tabulator, incessantly calculating whether we are getting proper due and deference?

Rarely does one see it put so colorfully, yet so succinctly…actually, rarely does one see it put so bluntly at all. People much prefer to jump onto the offense bandwagon than jump off it and God forbid they spend even a half-second coolly analyzing the situation.

From Slate’s Emily Yoffe:

We like to think we go through life as rational beings…In 1982, some economists came up with a little game to study negotiating strategies. The results showed that rationality is subservient to more powerful drives—and demonstrated why human beings so easily conclude they are being wronged. The idea of the “ultimatum game” is simple. Player A is given 20 $1 bills and told that, in order to keep any of the money, A must share it with Player B. If B accepts A’s offer, they both pocket whatever they’ve agreed to. If B rejects the offer, they both get nothing. Economists naturally expected the players to do the rational thing: A would offer the lowest possible amount—$1; and B, knowing $1 was more than zero, would accept…

In the years the game has been played, it’s been found that almost half the A’s immediately offer to split the money—an offer B’s accept. When A offers $9 or even $8, B usually says yes. But when A’s offer drops to $7, about half the B’s walk away. The lower A’s offer, the more likely the B’s are to turn their backs on a few free dollars in favor of a more satisfying outcome: punishing the person who offended their sense of fairness.

Otherwise known as “cutting your nose off to spite your face.” Nice!

(more…)

18.10.2008 Punkass!, Conformity, I pity the fool who tries to sue me, This Thing of Ours, Uncategorized 22 Comments

Domestic Violence Against Men

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

The votes are in, and the topic of the day is Domestic Violence Against Men.

This is one of the issues that I, personally, feel is important and a place where MRA’s and feminists would be natural allies. No one should be the victim of intimate violence, man or woman. And, I don’t think either side would disagree that a men who are victims of domestic violence are generally not believed, and are frequently the victims of ridicule, because of stupid and damaging gender stereotypes.

Where the difference seems to be is what the appropriate response should be. As near as I can tell, MRA’s think that they should get as much federal money as women from domestic violence shelters, and each battered woman shelter should have to either have to provide separate accommodations for battered men, or allow battered men into the shelters in the first place. Feminists say that this is impossible, and that MRA’s should start their own shelters. There is also quite a bit of talk that MRA’s are not being entirely honest with their motivations, and using men’s domestic violence as an excuse to shut down women’s shelters.*

For myself, I can see where either side is coming from. I shall not impugn the motive of MRAs, in general, although I do agree that there have been individuals with less-than-forthright motivations. But, the actions of a few should not be the focus of the discussion; people have been known to hijack legitimate topics for their own selfish use, something feminists should know about. This is an issue everyone should be concerned about.

However, I do tend to fall back on feminist position that this is not really our area of expertise. Battered women’s shelters have to be women-only: it would be far too easy for an abuser to follow his wife to a shelter, and pretend to be battered in an attempt to gain access to his wife. And battered women’s shelters generally do not have enough funds to meet their own need, much less the funds to build an entirely new building with different counselors.

The federal funds thing is tricky. I would be completely in favor of an equivalent amount of funding for battered men’s shelters as battered women’s shelters, but not equal. According to the Department of Justice women are 3 out of every 4 victims of domestic violence. Expecting 3/4ths of the victims to deal with half the funds is patently unfair when it comes to dealing with something as basic as safety. But, men’s shelters should be given 1/4th of the funds, to address their problem as well.

If MRA’s wished to set up more battered men’s shelters, I don’t know a single feminist who would oppose them. I would even be willing to donate to them, and I’m sure that already existing women’s shelters would be more than happy to give them advice on how to set one up. But at the end of the day, this is where feminists should be allies, not leaders. This is where feminists should lend a helping hand, but not do the heavy lifting.

*If I am misrepresenting anyone’s position, please feel free to correct it as necessary in the comments.

18.10.2008 Punkass! 133 Comments

Hee hee hee. Hee hee hee hee.

Friday, October 17th, 2008

Because I know I’m not the only one who finds the whole “Disney Princess” schtick incredibly annoying, even infuriating depending upon the aspect of it I’m considering, on almost every level.

(Via.)

17.10.2008 teh funny 1 Comment

To the person who stole my iPod…

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

I really hope that you needed it more than I did. Enjoy the Ani Difranco, Fiona Apple, White Stripes, Adele, Electric 6, Cake, CCR, Jessica Hoop, Kate Nash, Lily Allen, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Peggy Lee, Regina Spector, Queen, Dr. Horrible Soundtrack, the boatload of classical and the tons of other various artists that I have that only have one or two songs. I hope you develop an appreciation for classical music after listening to it, and maybe some feminist awareness (maybe so much that you decide to give it back).

On a related topic, does anyone have an iPod (not a shuffle) that they want to sell cheap? Or give to me for my birthday?

16.10.2008 Punkass! 6 Comments

Fucking racists.

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

I have no further comment, other than a reiteration that I will do nearly anything to avoid breathing the same air as these people, much less voting for any candidate, any candidate at all whom they might endorse.

(Via.)

16.10.2008 FUCKING IDIOTS, Racism 3 Comments

Live From Glenn Sacks’s Blog: Child Custody, Part One

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Part One of my two-part series on child custody after divorce is up over at Glenn Sacks’s “Feminist Dissident;” I actually wrote it as one piece, but it was a trifle on the lengthy side so Glenn split it up into two parts. When Part Two comes out I will throw up a link to that as well; Glenn said he’d probably post it a few days after Part One. To allow those who wish to examine Part One from a pro-feminist/feminist-friendly perspective to actually be able to do so in a constructive fashion, the fabulous violet and I will be heavily moderating any comments made about the article over here on this thread at PAB.

As you’ll see, Part One is simply an in-depth look at what child custody requests are made by which genders and how often those are agreed to by the courts, and speculates as to why. Part Two will express my own opinions about how child custody should be assigned.

16.10.2008 Family, Feminism, Men's Rights Activism 70 Comments

Live Commodities, Cheap and Plentiful. And There’s a Hell of a Market For Them.

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

The opening clip in this video about made me throw up, but I still applaud the effort to shed more light on the situation. Both my significant other and I were in the military—he was actually sent to South Korea for a month when he was nineteen. He said soon after he got there, he was walking down the street and a man waved him down, hissing, “You like girls? You like?” He was a skinny, baby-faced and fairly innocent nineteen, and didn’t “get” the question; he said something like, “Well yeah, I like girls–” and the guy began offering him…girls. Not nineteen-year-old girls, eighteen-year-old girls, even fifteen- or sixteen-year-old girls, but twelve-and-under-year-old girls.

Most folks in the Army don’t want to be stationed in Asia; it’s really far from home, it’s desperately poor and depressing and the Army won’t pay for your family to come and live with you there–it’s considered “hardship duty.” However, both the S.O. and I knew cadres of guys, not nearly as small in numbers as you’d really wish they were…they volunteered for the duty. And everybody knew why, including their commanding officers. But the Army needed people to go willingly, so it was the Big Secret That Wasn’t A Secret At All, those guys’ repeated trips to the far east…why they liked so much to go.

Since then, in civillian life, I’ve periodically met in person, or been told casually in passing of, guys who take all their vacations in Thailand, or Cambodia, or Vietnam, or etc.—obsessively; they go practically nowhere else. I don’t know them or of them well enough to say anything, but I can’t help but wonder. Then I try not to think about it, because I don’t know. But I still feel sick inside, and helpless, and like I should be doing something—how can I know about this, have known about it for over a decade and not do anything?

So this is my small and completely inadequate attempt to raise awareness.

15.10.2008 Human Rights, Media, Something you can do, for reals 58 Comments

Previous Entries
Newer Entries