…who?
Published by Lisa Kansas August 29th, 2008 in McCainery, Remember November, Ze Goggles! Zey Do Nothing!, sharing the awesomeA Real, Live Conversation.
Boyfriend (busily scanning the news on his laptop): Hey, did you hear what happened today?
Me: Well, I know McCain was supposed to announce his running mate.
Boyfriend: Yeah, he did. (dramatic pause) It’s Palin.
Me: Who?
Boyfriend: The governor of Alaska. (slighly less dramatic pause) Do you know anything about her?
Me: I think I heard she’s rabidly pro-life. (even less dramatic pause) That’s about it though.
Boyfriend: Yeah. That’s all I’ve heard too. (reading more) Wow. She’s like, younger and has less experience than Obama. Um…wait a minute. Isn’t McCain’s whole campaign against Obama based on Obama’s lack of experience?
Me: Heee! (general hilarity ensues)
Boyfriend: Man. ‘Cause if Barack Obama’s too inexperienced to run the country…
Me: Well, she IS a woman, y’know. And we women ARE all basically controlled by the Pussy Oversoul. Those of us who supported Hillary, it wasn’t ’cause we admired her platforms on reproductive rights or health care or education or anything or thought she was one hell of a political leader. It was because she had ovaries. We don’t even care if they’re still functioning or not! It’s all about p-u-s-s-y-o-v-e-r-s-o-u-l, my man!
Boyfriend: Heee! (general hilarity ensues)
Me (on a more serious note): You know, I was trying to figure out if McCain was going to grab a pro-choice candidate, or a woman candidate. I knew it’d be one or the other. or BOTH! Now that would have been perfect for him.
Boyfriend: Um, baby. I don’t think there are any pro-choice women Republican candidates.
Me: Oh yeah. Good point…y’know, though, still, if he was gonna pick a woman, there are just SO many more women Republicans of substance and experience–
(Boyfriend is wearing a look of extreme skepticism.)
Me: Okay, not SO many more. But I can think of at least two or three that woulda been more impressive choices for him.
Boyfriend: Heee! Like any of them would want to run on the McCain ticket.
Me: Omg, I bet he DID ask the others. And they were like, Uh, dude…I’d actually like a snowflake’s chance in hell of WINNING the election ticket I’m on…thanks, I’m like SOOOO honored but—
(general hilarity ensues)
The end.
“BF:Heee! Like any of them would want to run on the McCain ticket.
Me: Omg, I bet he DID ask the others. And they were like, Uh, dude…I’d actually like a snowflake’s chance in hell of WINNING the election ticket I’m on…thanks, I’m like SOOOO honored but—”
Ha! I have been trying to figure out WTF. I bet this is it.