I mean, In situation A, Jane is a survivor of serial rape. In situation C, she isn’t. In all cases, she’s experiencing some degree of oppression, and I don’t see how attacking her or her choices dismantles the machinery of that oppression. It is similarly unhelpful to say that it’s equally wrong when men do it; the rich and poor alike are equally forbidden to sleep under bridges.

Also, I’m not sure what a pussy pass is, but I want one. I suspect it may be useful at Disneyland.

Normally, the lines are way too long, but if you get the Pussy Pass…

I agree. That’s not what I said. I was taking issue with condemning the Other Woman like it was something new, or something feminist (something about a “higher standard” where who you fuck is everyone’s business?) when it’s the same patriarchal bullshit. Women as the gatekeepers of sex, and all that. I understand that this isn’t your reasoning behind it, but my point, I guess, is that the end-result is the same. (The Other Woman is pointedly condemned, while the Cheating Husband is condemned as more of an afterthought.)

“Of course, if your definition of ‘misogynist slut-shamer’ is ‘anyone who ever calls out anyone other than a man,’ then you’re clearly a pussy-passer and not of any interest to a feminist such as myself. Hey, it sounds like it’s mutual! That’s harmony achieved! Of a sort. ”
Oh wow. I don’t know what I’ve done to warrant this name-calling. “Pussy-passer?” I think the disagreement boils down to your first statement in response: I don’t think it’s wrong for a person to fuck someone else’s spouse. I think it’s wrong for a person to lie to his/her spouse. I also think it’s wrong to behave as sole proprietor of another human’s bits, but that’s a different argument. If the roles were reversed, and it was a monogamously married woman who had a consensual sexual encounter with a single man or woman, then that married woman would be responsible for that betrayal. An unmarried person unrelated to the cuckolded/cuckqueaned spouse has not broken any vows. Sex is not a crime. Adultery probably still is, somewhere, but a person would need to be married to be guilty of it.

It might help to frame it in a gender neutral way: What is up with the cheater’s partner? What sort of person knowingly helps someone betray their spouse? What does it mean if they do for financial gain? How do they justify it to themselves?

One thing I’ve noticed is those who equivocate are often willing to do so only when it’s someone else’s life. Even the cynical or free minded are hurt and angry when betrayed.

Everyone needs some sort of trust – be it pure or financially arranged – to get by in this world. Even those who claim to trust no one still rely on it.

So I think it is worth questioning those who help wreck someone’s trust and pointing out how they are culpable in what results.

If you don’t think it’s wrong to fuck someone else’s spouse, that’s your judgment call–cause I think it is doesn’t make me misogynist. If I said it was only wrong for WOMEN to do it but okay for MEN to do it, yep, that’d make me a misogynist slut-shamer, no doubt. Since I say it’s equally wrong for both men and women to do it, can’t see how that makes me any kind of misogynist slut-shamer. Of course, if your definition of “misogynist slut-shamer” is “anyone who ever calls out anyone other than a man,” then you’re clearly a pussy-passer and not of any interest to a feminist such as myself. Hey, it sounds like it’s mutual! That’s harmony achieved! Of a sort.

But don’t give up on PAB, I’m only 1/6 of the pack and I’m sure that at least a few of the other 5/6 have much more soothing opinions to offer you than me. Srsly.

I keep looking at the url to see if this is srsly PAB. Does. Not. Compute.

who instead of emailing me Teh Feminist Blogger Rulebook upon my acceptance of his kind invitation

Strawfeminist much?

Those of us who are criticizing you don’t care about rulebooks: we care about forcing you to acknowledge, address, and remedy your own hypocrisy about how the patriarchy still skews your worldview.

However, I prefer to implement my feminism in terms of holding everyone to the same high standards

Then why aren’t you castigating Elizabeth Edwards for refusing to leave him?

I really, really reject attempts to excuse women who actively harm other women for the benefit of men

Strawfeminist much? (What is it with feminist bloggers and strawmen?)

You really think the Other woman slept with Edwards for his benefit — not her own? *eyeroll*

If you want to effectively respond to people’s arguments, honestly listening to their concerns is the first step. Judging from the fact that your entire post is built on Strawfeminists, I see you’re not able to get to that level yet.