(nb: just because I’m a teenager doesn’t mean I am the kind of person who gets drunk at parties. The only parties I ever end up going to are the kind where you drink soda and eat pizza and watch anime, and I fully intend to spend my entire life a teetotaller. just for context )

I’ll go read the other post now!

I really do disagree with this; “falling in love” is quite a conscious choice, which is exactly why it’s totally fine to be friends with as many people as you want, because it’s quite easy to avoid “falling in love.” IMO, people who ooh just couldn’t STOOOOP themselves from falling in love! are the same people who get really drunk at parties, do shit they find deeply humiliating the next day, and therefore then claim they can’t remember/couldn’t control doing it cuz they were druuuuuunk! (this story only works if you ignore the desperate shifty gleam in their eyes when they’re saying it–same for the falling-in-love crapola)

BUT that is all just my opinion; I have no scientific studies or anything to back it up.

I disagree with the slut-shaming/stupid stance too, but I kinda went into that upthread in massive detail already so I won’t do it here. One thing to remember is that while I make all these *suggestions* for behaving in what I consider to be a moral fashion, I absolutely in no way think anybody should be so much as required to *listen* to me pontificate about it, much less put what I say into practice.

In terms of sex work, I did write a follow-up post about it ‘way back when too, if you’re interested: http://punkassblog.com/2008/08/30/fallout-from-the-edwards-affair-part-two/

Seriously Lisa, most people don’t have control over who they fall in love with. Unrequited love doesn’t make someone a moron, though thanks for the insult. If you honestly find it that easy to control your emotions, I suspect you are some sort of android and shouldn’t comment to how other people function emotionally. It doesn’t fucking work that way.

I have a whole host of other issues with the things you’ve said here, but a) this is ancient and b) other people have already picked them apart better than I could. I’m more disappointed in this kind of reasoning and slut-shaming than I might be from a random blog though, because I generally quite like and respect you from the limited context of your posts :/

I will say, as several other people have, that expecting sex workers to ask their clients if they’re married or they’re IMMORAL is a) slut-shaming, b) stupid, because I believe people generally like the sex works to be discreet and not ask questions and c) speaking from a huge position of privilege – if someone is barely making a living, they can’t honestly be expected to jeopardise what money they do make, and if they have no other options…. And having a double standard for women who do have a choice about being in sex work is silly, and it IS making women the gatekeepers of male morality.

End long rambly comment on year-old post!

Don’t want to tangent your post further, so I’ll hold the Annie Sprinkle/Scarlet Alliance/Touching Base-style sex worker stuff for another post. Later!

PS: Microchipping! It’s the way of the future!

Can you explain in more detail what you mean by “helping women remain in the situation of having few choices by reinforcing those few (options, I’m assuming)”? Is this part of your argument that sex work (at least as performed by women) is inherently anti-feminist?

I agree that you explicitly stated that you weren’t going to put forth a “sex work is feminist” argument. However, you did put forth a “sex work isn’t antifeminist either” argument, and I disagreed with that.

I agree that I haven’t read a massive amount of sex workers’ writings, but I’ve read some, and it is pretty common in the ones that I’ve read for them to liken it to other small-business or entrepreneurial enterprises. That’s what I was referring to when I said “typical of the genre,” not that you specifically were arguing in your article that it was feminist of you to engage in sex work. I genuinely don’t think I was mischaracterizing your writing, but if you feel I was I apologize–I do feel bad if what I wrote came over as any kind of personal attack on you directly–that was definitely NOT what I was shooting for.

I agree that sex work is viable as an income-generating job for many women and that it’s much easier to succumb to the patriarchy in this way than fight it by putting yourself through school by working a shit job for practically no money or exchanging the next 20 years of your finances for student loans, if you can even get them. I don’t blame them for the patriarchy, and I sympathize with the fact that this IS the situation–after all, I’m a woman myself, one from a very low socioeconomic bracket myself, it was just as much MY situation as it was for any woman who chose to become a sex worker rather than choosing the path I took instead. However, I cannot sympathize with those who flatly refuse to acknowledge the damage that their choices are doing, both to other women and in reinforcing the patriarchy. As they are helping women remain in the situation of having few choices by reinforcing those few–how is it unfeminist of me to point that out..?

Unless you don’t make a vow of monogamy when you get married, in which case you don’t get a chip. Or you can’t get married, in which case you have to find some other way to chip yourself and your spouse. I’m assuming the post-ceremony chipping will be conducted for free by the religious or state rep officiating the marriage, so I bet they’re gonna charge same-sex couples a lot of coin for the priviledge.

If my husband ever decides to cheat on me, I would much rather he do so in a fair business exchange with someone who’s choosing to provide sexual services for pay than to mess with someone’s emotions just to get laid. And he better tip well, or I’m going to kick him twice — once for cheating, and again for disrespecting a worker.