when the status quo frustrates.
acronis disk director discount buy microsoft office license online best price corel draw microsoft office 2010 download windows 7 price best buy where to buy windows 2008 server purchase windows 7 for mac lightroom for mac os x navisworks manage 2009 microsoft office discount for non-profit buy symantec winfax pro 10.4 best price adobe premiere pro cs4 cheap microsoft visio 2007 buy windows xp upgrade windows 7 price comparison download archicad 13 microsoft money home and business 2007 buy autocad architecture 2009 buy microsoft office outlook 2007 windows 7 discount college students parallels desktop 4.0 for mac trial vista discount flags cheap roxio creator 2009 buy adobe cs3 cheap steinberg nuendo 3 download streets and trips 2010 price buy windows 7 switzerland buy photoshop serial number windows 7 pro sale vista price in india fl studio 8 xxl buy microsoft frontpage price buy windows 7 in canada avanquest mylogomaker professional 2 buy buy parallels desktop for mac vmware workstation 6.5 download corel video studio pro x2 download cheap adobe creative suite 4 design premium cheap adobe photoshop cs3 download adobe captivate 4 download web page maker 3 microsoft encarta premium 2009 dvd cheap smith micro poser 7 where to buy windows 7 starter microsoft excel 2007 download adobe photoshop elements 6 download windows vista discount propellerhead reason 4 mac buy norton partitionmagic 8.0 buy adobe master suite cs3 demo buy windows 7 oem india autocad electrical download windows 7 price pc world buy windows 7 for students download microsoft digital image suite 10 best price adobe captivate 3 purchase windows 7 full buy norton 360 3.0 windows 7 discount oem cheap windows 7 in singapore cheap windows xp pro best price windows 7 home premium oem windows xp price singapore windows 7 pro download buy windows 7 home premium family pack download guitar pro 5 full version windows 7 home premium full discount download indesign cs4 download adobe audition 2.0 download sound forge audio studio 9 buy windows 7 home premium product key adobe cs4 price comparison mac corel painter buy cs4 dreamweaver microsoft money home and business 2009 buy windows 7 canada buy quarkxpress 8 mac buy dragon naturally speaking 10 microsoft visio 2007 pro microsoft works 8.5 adobe premiere full download grahl pdf annotator 2 price windows xp buy download microsoft visual studio 2008 professional buy microsoft mappoint 2010 download adobe illustrator for mac windows 7 home premium 64 bit download buy microsoft office uk windows 7 discount software buy photoshop cheap buy microsoft office singapore download adobe indesign for mac cheap vista cay buy windows 7 enterprise edition windows 7 discount student uk windows xp price comparison purchase windows 7 online buy windows 7 logo sticker final cut express 4 cheap sound forge audio studio 9 buy photoshop cs3 windows microsoft windows xp price india indesign software cost adobe pagemaker price best buy autodesk 3ds max 2009 buy windows xp home edition cheap order windows 7 ultimate windows 7 ultimate cheap purchase cubase 4 purchase windows vista 32 bit buy vista cd key buy microsoft office suite windows vista 64 bit cheap purchase archicad 12 buy windows xp for parallels autodesk mudbox price download dragon naturally speaking cheap efreesky magic utilities 2008 windows 7 price list india buy quicken 2007 microsoft works 9 download purchase windows xp pro license buy windows xp activation code buy maya 2009 solidworks premium price adobe photoshop elements 8 purchase purchase windows 7 volume license cheap adobe captivate 3 propellerhead reason 4 buy buy windows xp sp3 professional buy microsoft access 2003 microsoft excel 2003 buy cheap microsoft office for students buy photoshop cs4 mac windows 7 home premium discount windows 7 price for college students 3d home architect download buy omnipage 17 buy mcafee total protection 2009 solidworks 2009 price best price windows 7 discount windows 7 price for beta testers buy windows xp cheap purchase microsoft office home and student purchase microsoft office 2007 product key buy visio 2000 buy quickbooks pro 2009 download matlab 2009a cheap norton 360 antivirus microsoft office discount for federal employees buy windows xp australia microsoft office 2003 download full version deskshare videoeditmagic 4.3 adobe creative suite 4 design premium download sony vegas 9 download buy windows 7 disc archicad download buy windows 7 at best buy buy vmware workstation 6.5 windows 7 ultimate best deal microsoft project 2003 download purchase office 2007 pro download windows 2008 standard buy windows 2003 datacenter buy windows xp serial number corel draw price cheap windows 7 discount buy office 2003 product key buy windows 7 serial purchase microsoft office 2003 buy norton 360 license windows 7 price spy adobe after effects cs3 download quarkxpress 8 license 3ds max 2010 oem purchase adobe cs3 design premium windows 7 price check cheap microsoft excel 2003 buy windows 7 ultimate 64 bit cheap maya software buy vista business oem buy adobe premiere pro cs3 buy word 2003 autocad 2010 trial windows 7 professional oem price download lightroom 2 buy contribute 3 buy word 2003 online buy adobe acrobat writer buy windows 7 digital river buy adobe cs3 web premium buy lightroom 2.5 download microsoft digital image suite 2006 buy microsoft expression studio 3 cheap adobe photoshop elements 8 cheap corel draw 11 mac cheap windows xp for students buy office 2003 licence cs4 photoshop buy photoshop buy cs4 cheap powerdvd 9 buy microsoft office powerpoint windows 7 price list malaysia cheap windows 2008 datacenter discount photoshop elements buy adobe flash cs3 windows 7 price ultimate mcafee total protection 2009 download cheap autodesk inventor professional how much does windows 7 professional cost photoshop price list cheap symantec norton ghost 12.0 buy corel draw x4 how to buy windows 7 key buy ashampoo burning studio cheap quarkxpress 8 mac buy dreamweaver cs3 windows 7 price full version buy windows 7 australia student download acdsee photo editor 2008 buy dvd ripper platinum 5 buy windows vista australia quickbooks enterprise 9.0 download buy windows 7 professional (64 bit) purchase microsoft windows 7 adobe creative suite 4 production premium download buy microsoft office upgrade buy windows xp best buy windows 7 price 2010 buy windows 7 thailand sony vegas buy download corel painter x mac download photoshop for mac buy ms visual studio 2008 burning studio 8 download buy photoshop upgrade adobe acrobat cheap buy microsoft frontpage 2007 purchase office 2007 enterprise buy windows xp 2010 cheap uniblue registrybooster 2009 cheapest windows xp pro purchase windows 7 microsoft purchase windows xp professional full version purchase visual studio 2008 professional best price archicad 13 buy microsoft office xp professional buy guitar pro 5 mac quicken 2010 price cheap dragon naturallyspeaking 10 autocad inventor price purchase windows 7 oem license purchase windows xp license quarkxpress 8 price student discount photoshop cs4 after effects student discount buy adobe acrobat australia cheap windows 7 professional windows 7 home premium oem purchase microsoft office key buy autocad 2008 buy windows 7 home starter buy windows 7 oem ultimate buy microsoft office online canada microsoft streets and trips 2010 price roxio creator 2010 pro download buy autodesk 3ds max 2010 cheap pctools spyware doctor 5.5 buy office 2007 in india buy windows 7 professional 64 bit oem purchase office 2003 product key cheapest norton 360 3.0 windows 7 price compare abbyy finereader download acronis true image price buy roxio creator 2009 windows 7 price korea cheapest windows 7 deal native instruments traktor dj studio 3.4 corel draw 10 mac adobe illustrator cs3 download purchase autocad 2009 buy steinberg nuendo 4.3 buy adobe acrobat online windows 7 price chart cheap i.r.i.s. readiris pro 11 windows 7 buy license acdsee pro 2 download download wavelab 5 buy vmware workstation 7 download microsoft word 2007 cheap adobe soundbooth cs4 purchase windows 7 professional key cheap microsoft money 2007 deluxe norton partitionmagic 8.0 price purchase adobe indesign cs4 mudbox pricing turbotax 2008 discount buy adobe creative suite 4 master collection acronis disk director download buy windows xp sp2 windows 7 discount for vista owners download microsoft office 2003 pro buy cakewalk sonar windows 7 price in uk buy ms visio 2007 buy windows 7 ireland buy microsoft office home get autocad electrical 2010 download fireworks cs4 norton 360 sale buy outlook 2007 download cheap nero 9 windows xp discount software quicken 2008 download buy microsoft windows 7 buy outlook 2007 powerdvd 8 ultra download buy windows 7 3 pcs autocad mechanical best price download streets and trips 2007 buy lightroom software buy windows 7 spanish buy microsoft office project 2003 adobe dreamweaver cs4 download dragon naturally speaking cost download adobe after effects cs4 mac buy windows xp laptop download microsoft mappoint 2009 europe download adobe photoshop elements 6 buy office 2007 amazon photoshop elements 8 price best price windows 7 full version buy photoshop amazon vista purchase upgrade to windows 7 buy adobe illustrator cs4 download quickbooks pro 2009 buy windows 7 ultimate key cheap windows xp license cheap maya 2009 buy avanquest powerdesk pro 7 cheap sony vegas pro 9 buy autocad electrical cheap cheapest microsoft office for mac adobe cs3 price list buy autocad architecture 2009 discount quicken 2008 buy windows vista singapore purchase windows xp professional how to buy windows 7 cheap purchase pagemaker

The worst person on the planet

We have a contender.

Meet Dmitri. He’s a pick-up artist, which in itself gives him about 50 million douchebag points. He met a woman named Olga, who talked to him for a few minutes, gave him her card, and said, “Call me.”

So he did. She wasn’t home, and he left the second-douchiest phone message in history. Olga seems to be a sensible woman who, in realizing her mistake, did the sensible thing and just didn’t call him back. So a few days later, he fired back with the douchiest phone message in history.

Have a listen. He’s from Toronto, and the comments from the good folks at the Toronto Women’s Bookstore in that article are just wonderful.

Hat tip: Rantipole6

22 Responses to “The worst person on the planet”

  1. Kyso Kisaen says:

    Bwaaa-haaaa ha ha ha! Oh, my God! This is awesome!

  2. Alex says:

    Seems from the comments at Holy Taco that this guy is fairly well known…

    http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

  3. Kyso Kisaen says:

    I can’t believe he actually calls a book “Mien Kock.” I can’t even fathom the number of levels of bad taste that encompasses.

  4. Thene says:

    Wow. Go PUA community – it’s like watching an unfixed dog urinate against every lamppost it walks past. The remedy may be the same in both cases :)

  5. anon says:

    Sure. Wonderful. If you can hear. I don’t see anywhere where anyone kindly provided a transcript so that leaves a whole bunch of us out of the joke.

  6. Sabotabby says:

    Anon: Good point. Mockery of misogynistic douchebags, like all things, should be accessible. Part of the hilarity is in his tone of voice, which I can’t convey in a transcript—basically, the whole way through he talks as though he’s trying to sound reasonable and doesn’t realize how douchey he sounds.

    Here you go:

    Message 1

    Yeah hi there Olga it’s Dimitri. Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we, uh, met the other day, I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number and I had to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I thought I better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you. IIIIIIII am single. I have no trouble meeting women. I mean, women approach me six, seven times a day. But I’m very particular about what I like. You’re extremely elegant. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you and your friends were very jealous. Even if they say they weren’t, they were envious of the fact that I approached you and I was very taken by you.

    Elegant women are very rare. I’m Greek and I’m very particular about what I like. So I’m giving you an opportunity here. I don’t know if you pick up the messages on the weekend but I’m working on a movie script so I’m pretty much around all weekend doing that. I left you my number. [Reads phone number but volume is turned down on site.] This looks like a landline and if it is, you may not get the message til Monday but when you do call me and then we’ll get together for coffee and chat and let the romance begin.

    You looked very taken aback by my approach and I hope that isn’t timidness I hope it was just a little bit of, uh, shock at being approached so, um, ah, directly. Because I don’t really date timid women. Because I’m a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man and I want a woman who’s very independent and strong. So, ah, anyway, we’ll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. Now I have. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you, ah, have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon. Bye.

    [Continued in the next comment]

  7. Sabotabby says:

    And the second one:

    Message 2

    Hi there Olga. It’s Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street. I left you a message several days ago, you said you were interested. Now here’s the way I work. I don’t like leaving second messages but I like you, you’re a very elegant woman, you’re very attractive but, you know, I don’t play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls, you’re playing games like you see on stupid TV shows.

    Here’s how it’s gonna work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I’ll asssssume, I’ll assume that you’ve already left work, because, you know, some people leave early and I’ll grant you that. But if I do not receive a phone call back from you by 3:00 Thursday afternoon, I’m no longer interested and you can erase my number. I don’t play games like that. I’m completely single, I’m very intelligent, I’m great in bed, I make great money believe it or not, I’m a complete caaatch. I’ve only been single four months, I had a long-distance relationship, you know, it went a year, it’s very tough to maintain it like that and it didn’t work out.

    There’s nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact, I’m one of the few men in this city who has nothing wrong with him.

    So I’m giving you that 3:00 deadline. If I don’t hear from you, you lose my number. I’m erasing yours right now. So you won’t be hearing back from me. So that’s it. 3:00 tomorrow or you can just completely forget it.

    Now, I understand if you’ve got other issues. Maybe you’re not playing games, maybe you had, I dunno, maybe you were abused in childhood, maybe your mother has cancer you’re going to chemo, maybe you’re just a person who’s extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder. Maybe you’re on some medication for that, I don’t know. There could be another issue that I’m not aware of. But NOBODY says “call me,” hands a person a business card, and then doesn’t return calls. It’s extremely passive-aggressive. You should actually look that up: passive-aggressive personality disorder.

    And you let me know. If you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I’m not interested. Okay? But if you’re psycholooogically normal, and you haven’t called me because there’s been some horrible thing that’s happened in your life which prevented you, that’s fine. But otherwise, don’t call me.

    Okay? Bye.

    At this point, presumably, Olga is laughing as hard as she posts it to the internet and then calls the police for a restraining order.

  8. junk science says:

    I’m very intelligent, I’m great in bed, I make great money believe it or not, I’m a complete caaatch. I’ve only been single four months, I had a long-distance relationship, you know, it went a year, it’s very tough to maintain it like that and it didn’t work out.

    There’s nothing wrong with me.

    This is great. I especially like how he accounts for the time he’s been single, like he’s at a job interview explaining a work gap on his resume.

  9. Lisa Kansas says:

    Believe it or not, this is not as unusual a scenario as one might fervently hope. I’ve encountered at least two (that spring immediately to mind) of this guy’s clones.

  10. Sabotabby says:

    Lisa, this is not unlike a phone message that I received some time ago, though granted, that was more disturbing than hilarious.

  11. Andrew says:

    Oh, him! They played this on BBC Radio One the other week; he really is internationally infamous.

  12. june says:

    Especially funny to me is that fact that “Dmitri” (really James Sears) is a lifelong resident of Toronto, yet he’s clearly trying to carry off some Eurotrash “The Continental” persona here.

  13. Sabotabby says:

    James Sears—this is not a Greek name.

  14. that one guy from the one place says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_N._Sears

    Superdouche! I’ve heard this thing before, and always presumed it was an act, faked up for the internet and stuff. This is…You know, I’m no idealist. I hate people. They’re just bad. They do all sorts of bad stuff, like war and racism and robbery. The vast majority of bad things in this world were caused by human beings. Honestly, though, I had a hard time believing somebody that self-absorbed and stupid could even exist.

    However, I’ve never been to LA.

  15. RKMK says:

    Seriously, this sounds like the guy who approached me at South Side Louie’s on College a few weeks ago. *shudder*

  16. Lu says:

    There’s nothing wrong me honest…I just murder people at the weekends whilst listening to a bit of Beethoven…you know, cos I’m such an elegant guy myself.

    I didn’t think losers like this existed…but keep it up, it makes the rest of the world completely piss themselves! Hahahaha.

  17. Karley says:

    That Holy Taco comment thread is full of way too many too many Nice Guys, MRAs and other sordid types. Even the ones who agree on the guy’s douchiness are all like “I’d beat that queer-ass faggot up if I ever came across him!!11! LOL what a tiny dicked queer!”

  18. junk science says:

    Even the ones who agree on the guy’s douchiness are all like “I’d beat that queer-ass faggot up if I ever came across him!!11! LOL what a tiny dicked queer!”

    Yeah, I noticed that too. I wonder what it is about the guy they object to, since they obviously have no problem with misogyny and general assholery. Maybe it’s gay to use big words like “anxiety” and “passive-aggressive.”

  19. Erin says:

    Or maybe it’s gay to try to fake being European, and use words like “elegant”.

  20. keshmeshi says:

    I can’t stand his whining over losing his medical license. Even if what he did doesn’t qualify as sexual harassment, there are ethical and legal restrictions against doctors fucking patients. Had any one of those women taken him up on his offer, he would have still lost his license, could have been sued, and could have wound up in jail.

    Idiot.

  21. V says:

    How generous of him to give her 24 hours to call him back “or else!”…my my my…She should be kissing this man’s feet with gratitude for his magnanimous offer…Of all those (alleged) women who he just has to beat back with a stick, he chose her…She should feel privileged…

    Jeeeeezus H Khrist the pretentiousness of that idiot is astounding. What a piece of work.

    (and knowing tone and inflection doesn’t com across in text…that whole first paragraph was complete and utter sarcasm :) the man is a douche, pure and simple.

  22. Pickup Lines says:

    OK, let’s just cut to the chase — this guys is an idiot and gives true Pick Up Artists a bad name. There are so many things he does wrong here. I think the most obvious one is he doesn’t shut the He!! up. I mean he blathers on and on and comes off as a complete Jackhole. He isn’t a pickup artist, he’s a fool.

Leave a Reply