Barack Obama once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Published by Lisa Kansas June 23rd, 2008 in Filtered Propaganda, Media hackery, Obamarama, teh funny…or maybe it was CHUCK NORRIS!!
Apparently though, I am not the only person who has a secret addiction to Chuck Norris jokes. What is the draw..? I totally can’t say. The shameless hilarity, maybe…the unmitigated cheeze factor…it may forever remain a mystery…
I haven’t said much (okay, I haven’t said anything) about the recent Obama news in regards to public campaign financing or the FISA bill. I have my reasons and that’s all I’m gonna say, other than my usual refrain of Please Vote Obama ‘08!
However, this did crack me up, and not just ’cause it’s like a big ol’ Chuck Norris joke only BETTER. Also because the hypocrisy with which so many people are fielding the above Obama news items is making me clench my jaw til it aches and this, I thought, was a much better response to the situation than that.
The Barack Obama presidential campaign introduced a new site last week, FightTheSmears.com, that it hopes will debunk persistent myths about the senator: that he’s a Muslim, that he won’t say the Pledge of Allegiance, etc. As we have argued before, restating the myths often reinforces them, no matter how persuasively they’ve been refuted.
Rather than restate untruths about Obama, the campaign would do better to start some rumors of its own.
Here’s a template e-mail the Obama campaign might consider disseminating.From: [Redacted]
To: [Redacted]
Subject: WHO IS BARACK OBAMA?There are many things people do not know about BARACK OBAMA. It is every American’s duty to read this message and pass it along to all of their friends and loved ones.
Barack Obama wears a FLAG PIN at all times. Even in the shower.
Barack Obama says the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE every time he sees an American flag. He also ends every sentence by saying, “WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.” Click here for video of Obama quietly mouthing the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE in his sleep.
A tape exists of Michelle Obama saying the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE at a conference on PATRIOTISM.
Every weekend, Barack and Michelle take their daughters HUNTING.
Barack Obama is a PATRIOTIC AMERICAN. He has one HAND over his HEART at all times. He occasionally switches when one arm gets tired, which is almost never because he is STRONG.
Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It’s upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups.
There’s only one artist on Barack Obama’s iPod: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY.
Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American.
Barack Obama goes to church every morning. He goes to church every afternoon. He goes to church every evening. He is IN CHURCH RIGHT NOW.
Barack Obama’s new airplane includes a conference room, a kitchen, and a MEGACHURCH.
Barack Obama’s skin is the color of AMERICAN SOIL.
Barack Obama buys AMERICAN STUFF. He owns a FORD, a BASEBALL TEAM, and a COMPUTER HE BUILT HIMSELF FROM AMERICAN PARTS. He travels mostly by FORKLIFT.
Barack Obama says that Americans cling to GUNS and RELIGION because they are AWESOME.
You should check out http://www.barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com then, you’ll dig it. Click on the text that displays to get more.
That is awesome.
When I first saw that headline I thought it said “Barack Obama roundhouse kicked the fourth amendment so hard it…”
Sigh. I like him overall, but if we want to elect real change we’ve got to put the hero worship on hold for a moment an pressur him to get right. Because if he keeps supporting FISA and making other right leaning Bill Clintonish moves, he’s gonna lose or be no better.
Replace every “Barack Obama” with “Steven Colbert” and it becomes disturbingly likely.
That list accurately describes my daily routine.
Oh, and also: Has anybody else drawn the disturbing connection between Barack Obama and the Doctor Who character Harold Saxon/The Master? Seriously, I was watching that episode and a lot of the ways that HS is described are similar to how BO is described. How about this: look at their histories. Barack came onto the political scene very suddenly and VERY quickly rose to incredible popularity. Coincidence? Or could Barack Obama in fact be…
AN EVIL TIME LORD FROM THE YEAR ONE TRILLION HERE TO SEE US ALL MURDERED FOR HIS OWN SICK PLEASURES!?!?!?!?!?
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week.
that one guy from the one place: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
*drums fingers on desk*
dundundundun…dundundundun…dundundundun…
what this country really needs, right now, is a doctor
I haven’t said much (okay, I haven’t said anything) about the recent Obama news in regards to public campaign financing or the FISA bill. I have my reasons and that’s all I’m gonna say, other than my usual refrain of Please Vote Obama ‘08!
That’s right. When it’s the other team, give ‘em hell! But when it’s our guys, just whistle nonchalantly and change the subject. Nothing to see here, move along…
Quin, Quin, Quin. I smell a high horse. Say it ain’t so.
From my vantage point up here in the saddle, it sure looks like you’re saying you’ll avoid any serious criticism of Obama until he gets safely elected. Did I misread you?
Mmm…believe it or not, I am a more complex person than that.
Best answer would probably be a blog post, not a comment here. I’ll get to work on it.
Looking forward! Maybe I’ll write another one someday, too. No promises or anything.
I just don’t think I have the time or the inclination to do a whole blog post on the topic…sigh. Here, in a nutshell, the reasons why I am not saying much of anything about Obama:
1. I didn’t say much of anything about issues I perceived having with him when he and Hillary were in the primaries, though I was a Hillary supporter. It would seem really weird to start now.
2. I didn’t say much of anything about issues I perceived having with Hillary either. So it would seem DOUBLY weird, not to mention extraordinarily hypocritical.
3. I don’t say much about issues I perceive having with John McCain either and I totally oppose him as President of the United States. If I did it with Obama, I’d definitely need to do it with McCain, and I just don’t feel the inclination 90% of the time–for one thing, it’d just be too damn easy, so easy that there is no challenge, no strong feeling–he’s just totally WRONG, dammit! But if I give negative air time to Obama, I absolutely would have to force myself to do it at least equally with McCain, and blogging here is supposed to be something I enjoy, not a chore.
4. I’m not surprised by anything Obama is doing; it is no less than I expected, and no different than I would have expected from Hillary had she won the nomination. They are both politicians, not personal friends of mine, and naturally he is behaving like one. To be disappointed, I’d have had to expect better of him than I expected of Hillary. (Should he sink to McCain’s level, believe me, then there will be posting and lots of it. But he has quite a ways to go to reach that nadir.)
Please don’t let the lack of what you wrote before be the cause for silence on things that need to be said! At least, not if you actually want to say them. I, for one, won’t be calling you a hypocrite for it, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone there.
And there is absolutely no reason to give equal negative time to McCain. Everybody who comes here already knows what’s wrong with him, or if they don’t, then they at least already know that we all loathe him.
But if a particular subject isn’t fun for you to write about, and your main goal here is to enjoy yourself (which is fine– I’m not making some sly criticism of that), then by all means don’t write about it!
You won’t call me a hypocrite and you genuinely think it’s fine that I enjoy myself? Well, hell, there is a chance that’s all I was waiting to hear! Let’s watch what I do and find out.