Oops, you’re right, you didn’t– I was misinterpreting the implications of your penultimate paragraph. However, even if you were to have made that claim, you have now satisfactorily countered my juvenile demand for hard data to back it up:

When it came to the reasons for engaging in oral sex, the majority of the entire sample–as well virgins and nonvirgins–cited pleasure for the receiver as the primary reason they gave or received oral sex. Nonvirgins were significantly more likely than virgins to endorse pleasure for the giver as a reason to give or receive oral sex. A minority of both groups endorsed power as the reason to give or receive oral sex, but nonvirgins were slightly (albeit significantly) more likely to cite this as a reason for giving/receiving oral sex, particularly for giving.

Frankly, I’m a little bit impressed.

I’ll accept as a general rule. It was what I read as the absolute nature of the statement that distracted me from your point and made me think “Really? But [[$partner]] orgasms less often than I do! As did [[$former partner]]. And [[$partner]], too! It’s hard work to get those guys off!”

Thus I got distracted from your point.

In general, though, if pleasing my partner means that I’m not getting off at all much or most of the time, we need to do some more work on things in bed. As much pleasure as I derive from my partners’ pleasure, I’m just not that self-sacrificing.

And yeah, that’s part of what I enjoy about receiving oral. A facet of that is the permission to be greedy. A facet of that is the alignment of objectives—my partner’s enjoying getting me off, I’m enjoying my partner’s actions. And there’s the funwoo! Must not forget the funwoo!

Quin, I never said anywhere that people who enjoy oral are really only just doing it for their partner’s pleasure. The only thing that I said that could even be stretched pretty far to sound a little like that is that men who like giving oral often derive a lot of their pleasure from doing so from the pleasure their partner is receiving from it. I can say right off, without doing any research whatsoever, that that is far from the ONLY reason such men like it–the bf is such a man and has informed me many times that he ALSO really likes the look of it, the taste of it and the texture of it.

For your research-y pleasure:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_1_44/ai_n19052952/pg_12

http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/genpsysexuality.html

Note that I said “many” women like receiving oral, not “ALL” women; note that I said men who like giving oral “tend to be” the most interested in their partner’s pleasure, not “ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE.” Also note that I said “some” women don’t like performing, not “MOST”, “ALL,” or “NONE.”

None of this was meant as a personal slur against anyone who (a) is a man who has a problem having orgasms during genital sex or (b) a woman who doesn’t like having large objects in her mouth regardless of what they are because they make her feel claustrophobic or (c) anything else uncommon and/or idiosyncratic. Should you be someone with an uncommon or idiosyncratic reason and feel that because of that, me remarking on the general trend is a personal insult to you, please believe that what I said was in no way intended as such, nor do I place any moral valuation whatsoever on the sheer unadorned fact of what any individual likes or doesn’t like during the course of consensual sex.

The truth is though that the general trend is that most women do like receiving oral, most men who like giving oral like to do so primarily because their partner enjoys it so much, and some women don’t like to give oral. I agree that there certainly are exceptions. However, my interest at present is in the general trend and the whys and wherefores of that, so feel free to post yours or others’ unusual and/or idiosyncratic deviations from the general! But I’m only probably going to chime in the discuss the general trend from here on forward on this thread.

I for one don’t like giving oral to a male. It has a rather practical reason even. I have too narrow nasal passages, so breathing through my nose during even relatively short periods of time is simply not enough to keep me fully conscious, of what I’m doing. And because of this I get claustrophobic when my mouth is blocked. So oral? Sure, if you wanna see me panic and by accident use teeth, where teeth shouldn’t be used.

On the other hand, I’ve never actually received much pleasure from receiving oral myself. It works far better with a few fingers than a tongue. Always has. I’ve never been with anyone, who could pleasure me better the other way ’round.

By the way, I like giving oral too, but while I suppose it’s harmless to pat ourselves on the back and choose to believe that this is a sign that we care about our partners, I think it’s worth clarifying that not liking to give oral shouldn’t be considered a sign that you don’t care about your partner.

I like performing oral too–it’s very arousal-enhancing, and it’s safe to say that the bf experiences the same thing when he performs oral (it’s nice that men have a visual indicator for arousal–takes some of the guesswork out of “soooo, what really DOES turn you on..?”).