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	<title>Comments on: For Women, Bisexuality May Not Be Just a Phase</title>
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	<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/</link>
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	<pubDate>Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:01:55 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>By: vv</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-68689</link>
		<dc:creator>vv</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:24:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-68689</guid>
		<description>only for sex &#38; sex</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>only for sex &amp; sex</p>
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		<title>By: Smoss</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-68001</link>
		<dc:creator>Smoss</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 May 2008 04:41:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-68001</guid>
		<description>Bisexual invisibility, I feel, is probably the basis of most of the bi-phobia from both homosexuals and heterosexuals.  My experience has been that the lesbian/gay community feels that because bisexuals can be with women and/or men, they are keeping 'heterosexual privilege,' being able to appear straight whenever they want to keep social pressures and judgments at bay.  I guess they don't realize that some bisexuals actually consider this their identity and don't like being 'lost in the woodwork,' like you said.  Now when I'm meeting someone new I ask if they are seeing SOMEONE...not if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.  I know that I want people to see me for who I am and not automatically assume that if I am with a man I am straight, or if I am with a woman I am a lesbian.

In a few years everyone will be bisexual anyway, what with Tila Tequila leading the way? lol Jeeze, everyone should have turned yesterday.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Bisexual invisibility, I feel, is probably the basis of most of the bi-phobia from both homosexuals and heterosexuals.  My experience has been that the lesbian/gay community feels that because bisexuals can be with women and/or men, they are keeping &#8216;heterosexual privilege,&#8217; being able to appear straight whenever they want to keep social pressures and judgments at bay.  I guess they don&#8217;t realize that some bisexuals actually consider this their identity and don&#8217;t like being &#8216;lost in the woodwork,&#8217; like you said.  Now when I&#8217;m meeting someone new I ask if they are seeing SOMEONE&#8230;not if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.  I know that I want people to see me for who I am and not automatically assume that if I am with a man I am straight, or if I am with a woman I am a lesbian.</p>
<p>In a few years everyone will be bisexual anyway, what with Tila Tequila leading the way? lol Jeeze, everyone should have turned yesterday.</p>
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		<title>By: Thene</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67604</link>
		<dc:creator>Thene</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 May 2008 01:44:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67604</guid>
		<description>MH, anti-bi things I've encountered in L&#38;G spaces include:

-at a local gay bar last night, being told - jokingly - 'Naw, you're a lesbian' when I'd just said otherwise.
-entirely, 100% gay people insisting that bisexuality is 'sitting in traffic' and that it goes away if you get into...assumptions vary, some say any long-term relationship, some just say any opposite-gender relationship.
-a reluctance to add anti-biphobia clauses to anti-homophobia/transphobia pledges. This is probably just a case of people overlooking a problem because they want to pretend it's not there.  A gay friend of mine tried to deal with this while he was in the NUS LGBT conference system, and it was an uphill struggle.
-among lesbians, hearing the stereotype that all bi women are just straight girls on a rebound and if you date one she'll just leave you for a man once she's got over it.  I don't know if bi men get hit by this one.
-among both gays and lesbians, insistence that a relationship between a gay person and a bi person is doomed to fail for no reason beyond the bi person's sexuality.

It's not like this is a day-in-day-out problem so much as something you bang your head against every so often, but it's there.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>MH, anti-bi things I&#8217;ve encountered in L&amp;G spaces include:</p>
<p>-at a local gay bar last night, being told - jokingly - &#8216;Naw, you&#8217;re a lesbian&#8217; when I&#8217;d just said otherwise.<br />
-entirely, 100% gay people insisting that bisexuality is &#8217;sitting in traffic&#8217; and that it goes away if you get into&#8230;assumptions vary, some say any long-term relationship, some just say any opposite-gender relationship.<br />
-a reluctance to add anti-biphobia clauses to anti-homophobia/transphobia pledges. This is probably just a case of people overlooking a problem because they want to pretend it&#8217;s not there.  A gay friend of mine tried to deal with this while he was in the NUS LGBT conference system, and it was an uphill struggle.<br />
-among lesbians, hearing the stereotype that all bi women are just straight girls on a rebound and if you date one she&#8217;ll just leave you for a man once she&#8217;s got over it.  I don&#8217;t know if bi men get hit by this one.<br />
-among both gays and lesbians, insistence that a relationship between a gay person and a bi person is doomed to fail for no reason beyond the bi person&#8217;s sexuality.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not like this is a day-in-day-out problem so much as something you bang your head against every so often, but it&#8217;s there.</p>
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		<title>By: Lisa KS</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67524</link>
		<dc:creator>Lisa KS</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 May 2008 20:06:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67524</guid>
		<description>I like math...I agree that a line is a way oversimplification, but unfortunately there are so many dimensions to sex and not so many corresponding multidimensional closed spaces, especially ones I am familiar enough with to use descriptively, lol.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I like math&#8230;I agree that a line is a way oversimplification, but unfortunately there are so many dimensions to sex and not so many corresponding multidimensional closed spaces, especially ones I am familiar enough with to use descriptively, lol.</p>
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		<title>By: MH</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67516</link>
		<dc:creator>MH</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 May 2008 19:13:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67516</guid>
		<description>I highly disagree with the idea that sexuality exists on a sliding scale...

...I think it's way more complex than that. For one thing, it's not zero-sum, as a sliding scale with outliers would imply; increasing attraction to one gender doesn't mean decreasing attraction to the other. Some people are attracted to different genders in different ways; I may want to do different bedroom things with different genders; etc. etc. etc.

Seuxality isn't a point on a scale, it's a function over a space with dozens and dozens of dimensions. And the function might be piecewise, further complicating things!

Sorry if I mathgeeked-out a bit there. But yeah, "attraction" isn't even quantifiable except in the vaguest of terms.

I've heard tell of the prejudice found in some queer circles against bisexuals, and it really baffles me. I have no idea how or why that happens; it's totally contrary to what I expected. But as I haven't experienced any of that myself, I defer to others' experiences.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I highly disagree with the idea that sexuality exists on a sliding scale&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230;I think it&#8217;s way more complex than that. For one thing, it&#8217;s not zero-sum, as a sliding scale with outliers would imply; increasing attraction to one gender doesn&#8217;t mean decreasing attraction to the other. Some people are attracted to different genders in different ways; I may want to do different bedroom things with different genders; etc. etc. etc.</p>
<p>Seuxality isn&#8217;t a point on a scale, it&#8217;s a function over a space with dozens and dozens of dimensions. And the function might be piecewise, further complicating things!</p>
<p>Sorry if I mathgeeked-out a bit there. But yeah, &#8220;attraction&#8221; isn&#8217;t even quantifiable except in the vaguest of terms.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve heard tell of the prejudice found in some queer circles against bisexuals, and it really baffles me. I have no idea how or why that happens; it&#8217;s totally contrary to what I expected. But as I haven&#8217;t experienced any of that myself, I defer to others&#8217; experiences.</p>
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		<title>By: Antigone</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67482</link>
		<dc:creator>Antigone</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 May 2008 02:05:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67482</guid>
		<description>Didn't Kiensey report that most people fall along the bisexuality scale, with just the outlyers at completely homo or hetero?  It always seemed to make sense to me.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Didn&#8217;t Kiensey report that most people fall along the bisexuality scale, with just the outlyers at completely homo or hetero?  It always seemed to make sense to me.</p>
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		<title>By: Thene</title>
		<link>http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67481</link>
		<dc:creator>Thene</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 May 2008 01:54:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://punkassblog.com/2008/05/22/for-women-bisexuality-may-not-be-just-a-phase/#comment-67481</guid>
		<description>&lt;i&gt;*I haven’t ever personally known a man who openly admitted to being bisexual. However, I observed enough group porn-viewing behavior during my Army days and surprised a few confessions out of a drunk specimen or four that I am relatively sure that innately, men span the same sort of spectrum as women.&lt;/i&gt;

Or, &lt;a href="http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/on-being-straight/" rel="nofollow"&gt;as Bitchy Jones said&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;i&gt;"...women are ‘more fluid’[?] That’s not even true. If there is a sex who is notorious for getting into same sex action when in prison or the army or some such it’s men."&lt;/i&gt;

(I have known a few bisexual-IDing men, tho'.  The supposed breakdown among young people (16-24) in the UK is: men; 6% gay, 3% bi, 4% up for experiments; and women 2% gay, 5% bi and 11% up for experiments...which says a lot about our culture, really).

&lt;i&gt;The finding runs counter to the idea that bisexuality is an experimental or transitional period for women who, for instance, are uncertain or have fear of commitment.&lt;/i&gt;

Wow.  They thought that?  Fear of whatnow?  Who came up with that one?  And why didn't they tell let me know?  Or did they come up with it by - letmeguess - not actually studying bisexual people at all, much less asking us how we felt about it over the long run?

To be fair, I'm guessing that bisexuals are far harder to study as a group than either straight or gay people simply because we disappear into the woodwork more readily.  LGBT social sets aren't immune to biphobia.  All the other bisexuals I know are just people I've chanced to meet &#38; befriend along the way, rather than in LGBT spaces - we've all, including those in long-term same-sex relationships, either shifted out of those spaces or never been welcomed into them in the first place.  Meanwhile, the straight world would like to assume that we're as straight as they are, ie, not really there.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><i>*I haven’t ever personally known a man who openly admitted to being bisexual. However, I observed enough group porn-viewing behavior during my Army days and surprised a few confessions out of a drunk specimen or four that I am relatively sure that innately, men span the same sort of spectrum as women.</i></p>
<p>Or, <a href="http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/on-being-straight/" rel="nofollow">as Bitchy Jones said</a>, <i>&#8220;&#8230;women are ‘more fluid’[?] That’s not even true. If there is a sex who is notorious for getting into same sex action when in prison or the army or some such it’s men.&#8221;</i></p>
<p>(I have known a few bisexual-IDing men, tho&#8217;.  The supposed breakdown among young people (16-24) in the UK is: men; 6% gay, 3% bi, 4% up for experiments; and women 2% gay, 5% bi and 11% up for experiments&#8230;which says a lot about our culture, really).</p>
<p><i>The finding runs counter to the idea that bisexuality is an experimental or transitional period for women who, for instance, are uncertain or have fear of commitment.</i></p>
<p>Wow.  They thought that?  Fear of whatnow?  Who came up with that one?  And why didn&#8217;t they tell let me know?  Or did they come up with it by - letmeguess - not actually studying bisexual people at all, much less asking us how we felt about it over the long run?</p>
<p>To be fair, I&#8217;m guessing that bisexuals are far harder to study as a group than either straight or gay people simply because we disappear into the woodwork more readily.  LGBT social sets aren&#8217;t immune to biphobia.  All the other bisexuals I know are just people I&#8217;ve chanced to meet &amp; befriend along the way, rather than in LGBT spaces - we&#8217;ve all, including those in long-term same-sex relationships, either shifted out of those spaces or never been welcomed into them in the first place.  Meanwhile, the straight world would like to assume that we&#8217;re as straight as they are, ie, not really there.</p>
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