I promised a post, but unforseen circumstances has popped up on my radar, and it shall be delayed. Instead, for your viewing “pleasure”, I give you a troll from my blog. This posting is remarkable in its complete back-aswardness, false information, and inappropriate placement.
Sounds like you are a slut and property.
Really? Last time I checked I signed contracts, owned my own property and everything. I’m fairly certain I’m not property
Your boyfriend decided that it would be better to be “married” so you did what you were told and signed a piece of paper even though it upset your parents.
For those of you unfamiliar with my situation (and really, why would any of you be?) I proposed to my (now) husband. He didn’t tell me to do anything. My parents, while not thrilled with the decision, did accept it, not that it was much of their business. I have this posted on my blog, so five minutes of reading the posts may have been helpful. I particularily like the scare quotes around “married”- I’m not sure what else you can call it, what with the certificate and all.
He wouldn’t care if you aborted a child the two of you created, meaning he cares about your vaginas ability to be drunk and available, but not much else.
Ah, what? My husband and I have talked about contingincy should I get pregnant, and he’s agreed that it has to ultimately be my decision, which at this point means I would probably have an abortion. He would also support me should I choose to go through the pregnancy. Just as a side note, how can a vagina be “drunk”?
And he has “married” you however you two still live in an apartment, showing that he has not bothered to provide a stable home, and furthermore shows his desire to have steady sex, but not provide a foundation for you two to build your relationship on.
Again with the scarequotes. This guy doesn’t really seem to know what a marriage is. Maybe he’s one of those ones who believes it’s only real if it’s in a church? And I didn’t know that living in an apartment meant that my husband didn’t love me. Nothing like mixing classism with sexism for some nutjob fun.
If you want to see what an owned slut you really are, tell him that to be romantic, you don’t want to sleep together until September when you have your “real” ceremony, and watch how quickly you become a statistic.
But I DO want to sleep together. I would go nuts if I had to be celibate for that long. However, in the interest of scientific accuracy, I did tell my husband that I didn’t want to sleep together until September. His response, after going “Yeah, right”, was that if I felt that it was necessary, he and I would have to talk about it, but he wasn’t going to divorce me.
And don’t lie and say you don’t advertise this blog when you link it to the DakotaStupid* web site.
-Jake
I don’t advertise. I make absolutely no money off of this blog, nor do I pay for advertisements for people to come to my blog. I didn’t know that “linking” now meant “advertising”. Go figure…I’m sure I’ll get that internet cheque any day now.
* The Dakota Student is the Student newspaper in my area. It is distinctly possible that this troll followed me from a letter about women priests.
My vagina can drink like a sailor on shore leave. I bet it can drink your vagina under the table. My vagina’s favorite drink is the mojito, because it’s so cool and refreshing. Just between you and me, I think maybe my vagina has a drinking problem. My vagina needs an intervention, someone call Jeff Van Vonderen!
But I DO want to sleep together. I would go nuts if I had to be celibate for that long.
That’s because you’re a slut. And a liar, because Jake knows women don’t ever want to have sex
with himunless their vaginas are sufficiently drunk.Heard in a bar somewhere:
“Pardon me, but could I buy your vagina a drink?…”
I wonder if it works any better than “Hey baby, what’s your sign?”
How can one be both a slut and property?
As far as I know, none of my belongings slut it up when I’m not looking seeing as they’re, you know, inanimate.
Don’t people who see women are property typical consider “owned” women to be non-slutty, since they’re owned and all?
God damn it Jake, it’s virgin or whore not virgin and whore.
i’ve often wondered what drives some trolls. i mean, yes i understand what motivates some trolls, especially on political/feminist/etc blogs–namely the bizarre attention factor, pissing people off for shits’n'giggles, boredom. but i’ll never really understand how complete strangers can take such offense at another complete strangers life to the point where they would take the time to think (using the term loosely, mind you) this out, sit down for x-minutes to write it, and hit submit. trolls like this are different than people just posting comments to piss people off or cause trouble… they have a genuine mental disorder.
while it’s not limited to any particular ideology, it seems to manifest itself most acutely in christian conservatives–this driving need to tell people what pieces of shit they are for basically no other reason than they aren’t THEM… they’ve got it all figured out, you see. and if you can’t see what a piece of shit you are for not seeing the world EXACTLY how they see it, you’re a slut/communist/whore/liberal/terrorist/faggot/etc.
very strange people.
I don’t know about you guys, but my property gets slutty all the time. I’m always pulling my car away from big, shiny, gas guzzling Ford trucks…slut. And don’t get me started on what my tables and chairs do when I’m gone…we’re talking full on furniture orgy. Seriously, President Bush needs to fund some sort of property abstinence program or something..or I’m gonna end up with ten tables!!!
Yeep!
I wonder where this dipshit would put me. I am not married, but my boyfriend owns the house we live in!
If interested, my husband felt the need to respond to this troll on my blog, under the handle “Hubby”.
Your man rocks!
That was pretty cool. I like that your husband managed not to sound violently angry at the scum, as I no doubt would have.
i’ll never really understand how complete strangers can take such offense at another complete strangers life to the point where they would take the time to think (using the term loosely, mind you) this out, sit down for x-minutes to write it, and hit submit.
*settles back in armchair*
I’ve gone through periods in my life where I wasn’t happy with where I was or where things were going. I was having identity crises left and right - flunking out of college, going on lots of fruitless job interviews, quickly becoming depressed and unmotivated. At these times, blog arguments I would have with strangers would take on epic significance. Insults would stay with me for days. Arguments I couldn’t satisfactorily parry would keep me awake at night. It was something to put my energy into, because real life just wasn’t paying off. Luckily for me, I wasn’t a mean, selfish asshole on top of being aimless, so I never became a conservative troll. I can empathize with trolls, and feel extra disgust for them since I can see myself in them, in their wildly disorganized priorities and utter lack of a sense of proportion.
Lisa KS-
Doesn’t he? *Sigh* Sorry people- I’m a newlywed, I get to moon over my Hubby.
Home-ownership is a requirement of marriage? I never got that memo.
Does that mean that all those couples who lost their homes in the sub-prime mortgage meltdown stopped being married as well?
I guess so. Troll boy Jake came back to my blog and responded to my hubby, but pretty much ignored me. He said some insulting things about bloggers too. I changed up his post, to reflect what he really meant, but I could post the original reply if people are interested.