The Violence Against Women Act is destroying the very concept of sportsmanlike behavior.
Published by Kyso Kisaen March 30th, 2008 in Feminism, Mutterings Of The Disturbed, WankersHello, my little neglected blog, and any people who may still occasionally check it. Sorry for the prolonged absence, school’s been a bitch and I should actually be working on homework right now, but my brain is tired. And what do we do when we don’t feel like thinking, boys and girls? That’s right - we find and fisk and anti-feminist. Today’s nearly incoherent and certainly unresearched pile of poorly segued and embarassingly tired half-thoughts comes from Detroit’s Holly Browne, who is all about feminism when it’s about equal pay and political representation, but was forced to seriously reconsider if feminism had gone “too far” when her young son was checked on the soccer field. By a girl. Her son could have easily cleaned that girl’s clock, if he hadn’t been conditioned, by feminists, to never hit a woman.
And she’s right, we were so focused on combating domestic violence that we never stopped to think about what havoc our message could wreck on co-educational youth soccer standings.
I noted the parents of the girls’ team smiling smugly whenever one of their players managed to knock over one of our boys.
Now, the fact is, when you get into the age of puberty and beyond, most of those boys could, if they chose, send a girl flying into the boards at any point. Feminism aside, it’s a simple fact of nature that men are physically stronger than women. But they are taught never to use that physical strength against a woman.
Listening to the grumbling coming from the parents of the boys, it was obvious that our guys weren’t playing their best game. They would hesitate for a second too long or hold back just a bit, yielding to a baser instinct not to hurt a girl.
Holly’s quick to point out that she’d not want to see her son and his friends punch those smug smiles right off those girls heads, but you know, she’s just saying that they totally could have. If they wanted to (everyone knows that the under-12 age group is when boys are most physically intimidating compared to girls). Which they didn’t. Because they’re gentlemen, just like the feminists wanted. And probably because their coach doesn’t encourage that kind of crap, you know, sportsmanship and all.
But I feel she’s being unfair to the feminists. We said it was never OK to hit a woman, and we were assuming a situation in which the aggressor is using his physical advantage to unfairly control a woman with whom he has some sort of relationship. Also, it’s still not OK to punch, assault, or shoot random women because ever since she left you they’re all just cunts who deserve to be shot. I’m not sure there’s anything in the feminist agenda that addresses bodychecking in youth sports. I’m pretty sure the appropriateness of roughing up an opponent of any gender depends on how much of a douche your child’s coach is.
We drill it into our boys’ heads from a very young age that they should never push, shove or hit a girl; if anything, they are to step to the defense of a girl when necessary. Then we put them all out on the soccer field — basketball court, wrestling mat, pick a sport — together where the boys are supposed to be as physically competitive with girls as they would be with boys. We are confusing our boys.
Anyone care to make that flow chart? Here, I’ll start you off:
YES -> Does she have the ball and you want it real bad, but otherwise your feelings toward her are neutral/positive
—-YES -> Go ahead, as long as you’re sure the ref isn’t looking
—-NO -> Let someone else check her
NO -> Are you mad she was talking to another guy/went out with her friends instead of you and yours/wearing that thing you told her not to wear?
——YES -> Do not hit her, try to calm down.
——No -> Then what the hell are you angry with? Do not hit her, try to calm down.
No anti-feminist column would be complete without the obligatory Mentioning of Pop Culture Event that Feminists Were Clearly Not Behind and Did Not Condone but is So Far in the Past that it is But A Hazy Memory in the Public Mind and therefore can be Taken Out of Context.
I recall a shopping trip I made with my daughter a couple of years ago. As we were browsing in one of the popular mall shops, we came across some T-shirts that stated “Boys Are Stupid — Throw Rocks at Them.”…Do we women really need to teach our girls to bash boys, physically and emotionally, to make our mark in the world?
This is relevant because the offending soccer player threw a rock at her son just like the shirt told her to. OK, I made that part up. The shirts don’t actually have anything to do with anything. Hey, remember one of those slogans made it onto some Happy Bunny merchandise? Remember Happy Bunny? Happy Bunny is not actually happy nor is he appropriate for young children. I bet Holly could make a real good article about that.
After the soccer game, I asked a manager why this talented girls team didn’t play up a few levels within the girls division instead of entering the boys’ leagues. I was told that prohibiting them from playing in the boys division would be considered discrimination. Amazing. Women have fought a long, hard battle to earn equal rights. We now have clubs, sports, colleges and political organizations solely for women and the support of women’s rights. But we’re still not satisfied.
Because NOW and the League of Women Voter’s exist, the existence of co-educational leagues in which some girls’ teams are encouraged to play dirty just like some boy’s teams is clearly greedy over-reaching on the part of radical feminist dykes.
So in conclusion, because of the feminist brainwashing about how boys should refrain from hitting girls under any circumstances, feminists have not only destroyed her son’s team’s chances of finishing top in the league, but also they’ve hamstrung Holly and Holly’s parental contemporaries in their quest to raise sons who are manly, and who know “how to treat a lady.” Because it’s not chivalry if he’s refraining from hitting her just because he knows she might hit back.
What league is this? When I played soccer, the boys had no hesitation whatsoever to play aggressively and check the hell out of me just because I was a girl. If anything, they were more aggressive (in the “we’ll show you what it means to play with the boys” vein).
And of course her argument is contradictory. You either are conditioned to treat women as equals, which means on the playing field you stop seeing them as “girls” and instead see them as “players”, or you are conditioned to see them as less than equal, in which case you land in the situation that this kid landed in - apparently not knowing how to act on the playing field.
Of course, it goes without saying that sports parents are crazy - and it sounds like this one is reaching for any reason whatsoever to excuse her son’s ineffective playing.
Am I the only one who’s really creeped out by the line about how her son could “send a girl flying into the boards at any point.”? It really reads as having thought about this way too much.
Where on earth did she get the notion that those boys won’t hurt girls?
They might hesitate to do so in front of an audience that might give them crap for it later, but rest assured, the little thugs do plenty of hurting when they think they can get away with it without social penalty.
Blaming one isolated incident on “Feminism” - isn’t that like seeing someone pass out at an open-air concert and saying “has music gone too far?” People could be a little more specific in what and who they blame.
You can just as well say that Europeans get more and more obese because of Hollywood. All that time spent indoors watching movies! If Hollywood movies were crap, people would go for walks instead. So who’s to blame? COLUMBUS.
And who funded Columbus’ expedition? Isabella I of Castilla. A WOMAN.
This is an interesting entry. As a woman, there is something appealing about feminism, but part of the problem is that not everyone is fighting for equality… Some are fighting against men in general, which is pointless and just as destructive as some men’s negative attitudes toward women (Like the girl wearing a shirt that tells girls to throw rocks at boys). We should be trying to make this a fair and equitable world for all, not just women or minorities. Men and boys are “trapped” in roles just as much as woman, which explains the boys being “gentlemen” during the game.
These issues will not solve themselves, and congratulations on this site and the dialogue it helps provide.
As a woman, there is something appealing about feminism, but part of the problem is that not everyone is fighting for equality…
…but luckily, that bit isn’t called feminism. Problem solved, hooray!
As an avid (and aging) co-rec soccer player, I pretty much expect that if I shove guys around, my ass is going to get dropped to the turf. Hence–being terribly clever–I don’t play a physical game against some dude who’s got 50 lbs on me.
Her kid is in UNDER TWELVE. The kids are probably going to be THE SAME SIZE or the girls will be BIGGER. Also, IT’S A CONTACT SPORT. The players should expect to hit and get hit by all sorts of shapes and sizes.
I’m pretty sure the young ladies don’t really care about the gender of who checks them, and if it gets too rough, they’ll play in a women’s league. If her son–indeed a creepy thought–sends the girl “flying to the boards,” (and that’s basketball not soccer, Mom)–he’s going to get a foul, just like the girls that can send the girl flying to the boards. So, let them play the game, and play against an opponent and not “a girl.” If he has time to worry about what parts the other player has, he’s not running hard enough.
most of those boys could, if they chose, send a girl flying into the boards at any point.
That is fucked up. Enough with the vicarious violence through your kid, lady. Take some martial arts classes if you have that much anger to work out.
This is where I become a fence walker in the tangible aspects of feminism. I wholeheartedly support Title IX. But at the same time I’m hesitant to fully integrate teams of contact sports. Why? This article pretty much proves my point. Not only is there the fine lines of contact sports/gender/boundaries/what-mama-hammered-into-my-head/etc, etc, etc, there’s the question of biological strength.
I think contact sports between both genders where a boy can be allowed to physically check a woman, or vice versa, blurs the boundaries of violence towards either gender. But that’s just me, and I’m sure many people can argue with me over that. When I was 12 years old I played in gym class along with other boys in my school, and I actually got shoved around for no good reason (because I was fat and nobody likes a fat girl). So I disagree with the notion that most boys don’t care what gender the other player is if it’s a contact sport. Also, there’s also the girl who can cry that the male who checked her (if the male had neutral feelings and a purely competitive viewpoint) pushed her because she was a girl-and pushed her too hard at that- nobody is going to argue with her. No matter how much we can say that ‘it’s just the game, not the gender’ there’s still the question of the politics of it all.
Right now, I am a fencewalker. Do I believe that women’s teams should be given equal funding and opportunity as men’s teams? HELL YES. Do I believe that contact sports should be fully integrated…..I’m conflicted. I personally see too many problems coming through it. But at the same time I would never put boundaries on what a woman wants to do on a “men’s” team, OR what a man wants to do on a “woman’s” team. If someone could sit down and give me an argument as to why teams should be FULLY integrated that I agree with, I will give them five dollars and a piece of cake. The woman who wrote the article that was the focus point of this blog is a tad messed up in the head (I agree with the others that called her out on the ‘flying through the boards,’ take your inner aggression somewhere else, lady). But that’s my .02 cents and I ain’t jumping in the fountain to get em back.
Le Femme
p.s. I hate hate hate hate happy bunny. HATE HAPPY BUNNY!
Point taken Rabbit, and a good one too. Perhaps the mistake is using the term “feminism” in the way that we do, or as loosely as we do, or perhaps even at all. I’m studying gender studies as opposed to women’s studies for these very reasons.
Now, would you really want people with a lot of anger to take up martial arts? Not anymore than give them a gun…
I just figured all the physical activity would provide some kind of outlet for all that nasty energy. I probably should have suggested basketball or something.
Chopping wood’s always a good way to let off steam.
On the other hand this involves an axe
This all comes down to weight class. You don’t put a male featherweight boxer in the ring with a male heavyweight boxer. It’s not a fair fight, even though they are both men. Girls and boys can play co-ed intramural sports because they are approximately the same size before puberty kicks in. After that, there are boys’ teams and girls’ teams, unless the school is especially progressive, and allows girls with the required size and ability to play on boys’ teams (and vice versa).
As for the mother, I smell a whiff of self-loathing and jealousy towards the girls. I’m sure they’re doing things she would never have conceived of being able to do…they’re violating her societal programming big time.
As for the guys being able to send the girls flying, yes on average men are stronger than women, particularly in upper body, what she forgot is that this is ON AVERAGE. The girls out on the field are athletes, not averages. On the field this seems straight forward, they are players, teammates or opponents, gender doesn’t matter just skill.
But in the rest of life its not quite as simple. First off I’m not a violent person, someone tried pretty hard to get into a fight with me this weekend and I avoided it, but if it came down to it and I had to punch him in the face then thats what I would have done, I’m not sure if I could be brought to hit a woman short of life or death situation, is that sexist? Ok, yes it is, but is that wrong? I strongly support equality, even if we occasionally hurt those who were historically favored (as a white male that means myself). Does that mean I shouldn’t be chivalrous? If I open the car door for a woman it’s not because I think she’s not capable of it, its just, well I’m not sure why, just to be nice I guess. So is it wrong for guys to think its worse to hit a woman than a man? We should probably just work on teaching people that its wrong to hit anyone. I hope I’ve made it clear that I’m not a concern troll, I’m just really not sure what the right answer is. In the mean time I’ll stick to not hitting women, or anyone if I can help it.
Peace.