I said slut, but what I meant was, well, slut but I probably should have used some kind of code word there so Ayaan wouldn’t scold me
Published by Kyso Kisaen February 24th, 2008 in Godbaggery, HUH!?, Sex, Shame on you for being a woman, Wankers, What Patriarchy?Amanda points to Rod Dreher’s take on a recent NYT style article about sexed-up wedding dresses. Now this being a New York Time’s slut-shaming style piece, it is of course unintentionally hilarious, trying to mix up the usual fluffy attempts to pass off a super-fabulous wealthy lifestyle as normal (who among us doesn’t get separate designer dresses for our two destination ceremonies?) with some old fashioned flyover country slut shaming (I know that when I’m spending upwards of $15,000 on a dress, my first thought is if my “male relatives” would approve. This is because I’m the daughter of a Saudi Arabian oil sheik).
Amanda just wanted to make fun of Rod for getting so giddy about slamming slutty women, but this left the post with little room for the real comedy gold, the post Ayaan Hirsi Ali-talking-to stuttering retraction, easily six times as long as the original post, minus the NYT quote. Ayann Hirsi Ali, you’ll remember, is that ass-kicking-name-taking former Muslim who is currently an awkward fit as the darling of the intellectual wingnut set. The problem is that the pundit-types love her because she is very angry at the whole concept of Islam, as she should be considering her experience, and as a result she’s willing to fawn over how superior Western culture is to the barbaric Muslim patriarchy. Which is great for everyone, except she’s also an outspoken atheist as a direct result of the way religion was used as a stick to beat her down, and she’s got an anti-patriarchy streak a mile wide. Since this is apparantly a marriage of ideological convenience and she knows she always lands on her feet whatever happens, when her gracious hosts and sponsoring community says shit like this:
The bride’s a slut. They call it progress…Natasha DaSilva, that tattoo just above your butt telegraphs to the world that you’re one classy dame. I’m sure your daughters will be so proud of you one day. “Wow, Mom, you really hooched up your wedding, didn’t you?” Dreary old me, I miss bridal hypocrisy.
Ali’s not going to let them get away with it just because they’re signing some of her checks and snorking up the copies of her books. Which means that people like Rod are going to have to do some interesting mental yoga tricks to convince her that there is an important distinction between Islamic fundamentalist slut-stoning and Christian fundamentalist slut-shaming. Otherwise, their cover may be blown and they’ll lose some of their influence on the reality-based community. Since she’s an atheist, the God-trumps-Allah card is not working and honestly, these guys don’t seem to have an argument B.
When I say “slut,” I’m being intentionally provocative, and as I indicated in a further comment below, the absence of her virginity is not what I mean by sluttiness, but rather her belief that her wedding day is an opportunity to show how little she cares about sexual purity. That’s slutty behavior, period, and we shouldn’t be afraid to condemn it…
However, I just heard a woman, Hirsi Ali, talk about how sexual purity is taken to such a psychotic extreme in Islamic culture that women are beaten, tortured and even murdered for having violated the code of honor. Hirsi Ali, who is no longer religious, said in her remarks that she believes religion should have nothing to say about sexual morality. That is clearly unacceptable to any remotely traditional religious person, but given that she’s an atheist now,….That Islam and Islamic law is fanatical about sexual purity doesn’t mean that a respect and an idealizing of sexual purity is wrong. Obviously there is a gulf between Christianity and Islam on this point.
Oh, yeah, a great gulf. A gasping, yawning chasm. For instance, did you know that in some Muslim-dominated areas of the world, it is very difficult, if not impossible, for a woman to get proper medical care because of religious laws about strange men being able to see a woman’s body, and restrictions on women prevented female doctors from practicing, or new ones from being trained? But in Christian-dominated areas, women are denied access to medical services because the doctors, or in some cases, appointment-setters, themselves are personally morally opposed to that specific care. See? Worlds of difference! I could go on, but it’s lunchtime. Suffice to say the only difference between devout evangelical Christians and devout Muslims is that the Muslims can make a modest swimsuit that doesn’t look like ass. I highly doubt that if Rod’s people were given the kind of control over us that fundamentalist Muslims have in some countries that our women wouldn’t feel the need for hymen replacement surgeries before our weddings as well. Because America’s religious right just respects and idealizes sexual purity, gazing upon virginal purity like the rest of us would appreciate a fine painting, and never feels entitled to try and shove their beliefs and morals on the rest of us, by law or force. And they respect all women and the very concept of womanhood, as Rod’s own post demonstrates.
You’ll have to do better than that, Rod. Ayaan’s pretty smart, I hear.
Well put. It galls me to no end to read Christian fundies pat themselves on the back because they’ve been forcibly restricted by the government from controlling women. I don’t run around crowing about laws I obey because I have to. I’m sort of blown away every time one of these fucknuts crows about how they aren’t as oppressive as Muslim fundamentalists in other countries. I’m like, yeah, but not by choice. Dreher openly envies the way that women are kept under tight control in some theocratic Muslim nations.
Yes! The style section is the only part of the NYT that I still enjoy reading. It’s wonderfully surreal and sufficiently disturbing.
Rod Dreher left the Roman Catholic Church after the priest sexual abuse scandals. He’s now a member of the Orthodox Church.
I point this out because you refer to Rod as an “evangelical.” I don’t know if you know much about history, or about Christianity, or either, but here is the wikipedia article to provide some background for you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Christianity
Boy is my face red, because this piece of information surely changes everything. I for one welcome our Orthodox Catholic Overlords.
Actually, in that case Rod shouldn’t snuggle up to our evangelical overlords, because after they’re done with us wicked secular folks, Catholics won’t be far behind, and they won’t be splitting hairs about which part of Catholic hell they’re trying to save Rod from sending himself to.
Nice reply there, Kyso.
Well, it’s one thing to be ignorant. But it’s quite another to be both ignorant and a little snot about it your own ignorance.
Congrats. It’ll take you far in this world.
Please explain to me the difference between a Catholic calling a woman a slut and a Protestant calling a woman a slut. Which part of Orthodox theology makes Dreher’s wishy-washy retraction about how there’s such a difference between uber-patriarchal Christianity and uber-patriarchal Islam at all acceptable? He said Christianity, so I assumed he was of the same ilk at Dobson and the like, because hey, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.
If anything, this actually make’s Dreher a little stupider in my eyes, because if we get a theocracy here, it’s going to be either Mormon or evangelical Protestant, not Catholic and sure as shit ain’t going to be Orthodox Catholic. (In my option, old-fashioned Bible belt Christians have the power now, but they’re slipping and Mormons have the numbers and the attitude for that kind of power grab in the future) If he’s Catholic, and an exotic form of Eastern Catholic at that, then he should be aware that these Protestants do make a distinction between Catholics and “real” Christians, and therefore he really probably shouldn’t be joining in their “our God is better than their God” chorus line. He will get hoisted by his own petard on that one, but hey, I’m the ignorant one because I didn’t check his bio before assigning him to the wrong intolerant, slut-shaming religion. My bad, Kevin, I offer you my most sincere apologies.
It’ll take you far in this world.
Damn right. How do you expect to get anywhere in life if you don’t know exactly who believes in unicorns and who stopped believing in unicorns and started believing in fairies? How can anyone be so proud of their own stupidity?
I also misspelled Ali’s first name at least once in this post, but I don’t see Kevin bitching about that. And in that comment I said option when I meant opinion. Maybe I should stop typing until after midterms.
Wow, IQ lightweights in this blog. It should be obvious that the Orthodox Church is way more snuggly while its doing its slut shaming, misogyny, and advancing patriarchal dogmas. The Orthodox Church is like the man who says he loves you while he’s beating you. The Catholics just call you a stupid slut while they beat you. Tsk, tsk Kyso, do some research next time. Oh, and Kevin, thanks for enlightening all us heathens here at punkass.
I’m actually working up to my black belt in sarcasm, but I haven’t quite reached Kyso yet:)