Drop that cigarette, mister!
Published by Kyso Kisaen February 19th, 2008 in Punkass!, HealthFrom now on, I want to see men being given the same intrusive, ridiculous health advice that pre-menopausal women get, because it turns out they need to take care of themselves for the hypothetical baybies.
Scientists say fathers who smoke and drink should be aware they are potentially not just damaging themselves, but also their heirs.
Tests on rats showed sperm damage caused by exposure to garden chemicals remained up to four generations later…
She said men who drank a lot of alcohol had been shown to have increased rates of sperm defects; and nicotine from tobacco found its way into seminal fluid as well as blood.
Professor Daniels said: “We need to open up our eyes and look at the evidence.
“My advice to young couples would be moderation. Substances that have an impact on reproduction are often also carcinogenic.
“If I was a young man I would not drink very heavily and not smoke two packets of cigarettes a day while I was trying to conceive a child.”
Ya hear that, boys? If you think it’s even possible that you might get a woman pregnant in the near future, you owe it to your heirs to practice moderation in all vices. Sure, right now they’re just saying you might want to keep it somewhere under 2 packs or a whole case per day, but that’s just the start of the slippery slope. In a few years, we can have it so that you get dirty looks for even being in the beer cooler while your pregnant wife loiters out in the store aisle.
Welcome to hell, guys, population: fertile.
I believe the term for women is ‘pre-pregnant’. *retch*
Though I’d like to issue a hearty ‘welcome to the club’ to these potential impregnators, I doubt the crap they’ll have to deal with will be the same in terms or vehemence or frequency than what gets flung at women. Of course, I could always be wrong, so we might still be able to have that party.
Don’t be so pessimistic - after all, we’ve already got men using skin care products and even getting pectoral implants; now that scientists can make sperm from bone marrow, the field is level and we can reach for the stars!
I’m just kidding, of course, I’d rather we treat pre-pregnant and pregnant women more sensibly than micromanage the dudes. However, if someone has to be micromanaged then everyone should be.