when the status quo frustrates.

Patriarchy is like a bra: a bad one can ruin anything, but there’s nothing better than a good one. What do you mean, I missed the point?

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Boundless’s Heather Koerner sez: feminism is for silly girls! Thank God she grew out of that! Oh, and check out how the fascinating story of this remarkable Muslim woman can be used to add drama the story of the junior high mock election where she voted for Mondale.

My male classmates had taunted me that a woman, well, a woman just couldn’t be vice-president. She just couldn’t.

But as a pre-teen who could beat the pants off my male counterparts in math class and was wholly unimpressed with their flatulence jokes, I begged to differ. We were women, hear us roar. Her victory, I thought, would bring honor to all females and her defeat was a defeat for us all.

Looking back, I have to smile. I am thankful that Mondale and Ferraro were not elected. She does not, to put it mildly, advocate my political beliefs. I’ve realized that just because another human has ovaries, doesn’t mean we naturally share the same opinions or ideals.

But don’t take her word for it; let’s ask this Muslim! Or, let’s take some quotes from a Muslim woman and wrap them in a fresh steaming pile of WTF.

One of the latest lessons I’ve gotten came from an unexpected place — a secular article about a woman who grew up in a Muslim family in Mogadishu. In the article, Deroy Murdock profiles Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a woman with an amazing story. Ali now lives, writes and speaks in America, attempting to encourage the West to realize that its culture is, indeed, superior to militant Islam. As Murdock quotes her, “Human beings are equal; cultures are not.”

She particularly extends her appreciation to our culture’s treatment of women.

You go girl, my seventh-grade self might have said! We are still fighting for our equality, but we’re getting closer all the time.

But that’s not Ali’s point in Murdock’s article. Her point is simple: Here, a man holds a door open for a woman.

“When I first came to a Western country, I was astonished to find men who said, ‘Ladies first,’” Murdock quotes Ali. “I was amazed because I was born and raised in a culture that put me last because I was born a girl.”

Ayaan Ali is absolutely the perfect woman to be holding up as an example for Godly women to emulate. For example, she’s willing to say a lot of stuff The American Enterprise Institute, who are currently writing her paychecks, love to hear:

“A culture that holds the door open to her women is not equal to one that confines them behind walls and veils,” Ali continued. “A culture that encourages dating between young men and young women is not equal to a culture that flogs or stones a girl for falling in love. A culture where monogamy is an aspiration is not equal to a culture where a man can lawfully have four wives at once.”

She’s passed the door test (always, the damn doors with these people) and she really doesn’t like Islam anymore and so Heather is free to weave what was probably a masterful ass-kissing on Ali’s part into the much less interesting tapestry of her own sheltered life:

Unfortunately, not all women are as appreciative of an opened door as Ali. Some women, and men, link the impulse to open a door for a woman with the impulse to repress and abuse her. But Ali’s experience has taught her the exact opposite, and I think she is right: There is a difference between a culture where women are honored and a culture where women are chattel.

But, for me, it goes further than just “culture.” Many modern day feminists have tried to argue that they offer me honor while Christianity offers me chattel. But they’ve got it backwards. I only have to look around to see it. The hook-up culture, the abortion culture, the depiction of women in media — they’re all proof. It wouldn’t take me 10 seconds flipping the television to see that — though Ali is gracious enough to see the positives in our culture — there is plenty of chattel-like behavior towards women.

As a seventh-grade girl, I was incensed that someone would treat me differently because I was a female. Now, though, I take comfort in the fact that God commands my Christian brothers to treat me differently…Yes, some societies live that way, and it’s a shame. But that is not God’s way. God has given my husband the right, and the responsibility, to lead our family. But simply because I submit to an authority — as, in fact, all of us have to do — God doesn’t see me as inferior, as inadequate or unworthy. The true message of Christ is quite the opposite and it’s a beautiful thing.

Now I remember that every time my husband opens my door. It’s a small gesture, but it points to the larger truth.

Of course, to turn Ayaan Ali’s appreciation of getting a door held open into an ode to wifely submission may be, at best, a bit of a stretch. For it seems that while Ali is a controversial figure, one fact is perfectly clear: the woman has an enormous set of thatchers. A short list of her accomplishments include:

Running away from an arranged marriage
Lying to Dutch officials to get refugee status
Learning Dutch and getting a masters degree in political science before
Obtaining an elected position in Dutch parliament only to resign after
It was disclosed that she lied to get her citizenship but it was OK because the Dutch loved her so much that
The government bent over backwards to allow her to keep her citizenship but she went to America anyway to
Write her book

Oh, and somewhere in there she narrated the movie that got Vincent Van Gogh’s movie-director descendant killed, with a five-page death threat to her knifed into his chest.

And then she went back to the Netherlands, just because the cheap bastards would only pay for round-the-clock security when she was actually in the country, leading me to ask why the American Enterprise didn’t pick up the tab so she could stay in DC? I guess the Conservative Skinflint Uncle isn’t such a strawman after all.

So anyway, she’s a real Titus 2 woman, indeed. All of your biblical role models, your Rachels and Esthers, ended up renouncing their religion and talking smack about Islam and fighting for women’s rights until they needed bodyguards 24 hours a day. I think that we can safely assume that no matter how conservative Ali is, she’ll not be endorsing the following tripe anytime soon:

God’s balance, of course, is perfect. He commands that I be respected, but also that I respect. He commands that I be honored, but also that I honor. He commands that I submit to authority, but also commands that authority to submit to Him…

In seventh grade, and probably for years later, I would have told you that all patriarchal societies were the same — their only goal to puff men up in their own power. But not anymore.

In fact, that might be the exact opposite of her message. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes appreciating that a guy held the door for you instead of stoning you to death is not an endorsement of your western-flavored patriarchy.* Also, her political party back in Dutchlandia is soft on both drugs and fags, although they just love the free market. Or what passes for a free market economy in the Netherlands. Just letting you know. And this other post about female Muslim writers in the West, maybe that’s some good readin’.

*And keep in mind that her primary “West” experience is centered in the freakin’ Netherlands. What are the odds that in Heather Koerner’s country, a female African immigrant with Ali’s “polarizing” personality would make it as far in politics in America? Is Heather aware that the “West” encompasses a couple of continents, which is why we just don’t call it “America”?

Whoever takes new authors aside at Regnery and explains to them what’s really going on seems to have missed a couple

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

Bwaa-haa-haaa!

Five authors have sued the parent company of Regnery Publishing, a Washington imprint of conservative books, charging that the company deprives its writers of royalties by selling their books at a steep discount to book clubs and other organizations owned by the same parent company.

Unfortunately, no major OMG! names are listed on the suit, luminaries like Ann Coulter and Pat Buchanan presumably having figured out what side the bread is buttered on. Instead, the authors of books like “Dereliction of Duty: The Eyewitness Account of How Bill Clinton Compromised America’s National Security” and “Shadow War: The Untold Story of How Bush Is Winning the War on Terror” are claiming that Regnery’s trick of bulk buying their own books to get that precious NYT Bestseller sticker placed next to the Buy 3 get 1 Free sticker on the Border’s table-of-deals is shafting them out of thousands of dollars and hurting their ability to get published by a real publisher.

I dunno, maybe having your first book remaindered by the company that prints Ann Coulter’s mash notes to Joe McCarthy is what’s keeping them from being able to write real books.

The authors argue that because at least a quarter and as much as half of their book sales are diverted to nonretail channels, sales figures of their books on Nielsen BookScan, which tracks about 70 percent of retail sales but does not reflect sales through book clubs and other outlets used by Eagle, are artificially low. Publishers use these figures when determining future book deals, and the authors argue that actions by Eagle and Regnery have long-term effects on their careers.

If they can prove that 1/2 to 3/4 of their books are purchased at an actual store, I for one will be shocked and amazed. Maybe Dereliction of Duty guy has a point; the low price for his book at Amazon new and used is a respectable $8. Shadow War, however, can be bought for a penny; even Ann Coulter’s books are available for only a dollar or two apiece and you’d expect her to have some staying power. If these guys are claiming that every single person who got the books for free when they clicked something at WND or were given a copy at some church fund raiser would have paid retail if that was their only option, they’re about to find out how delusional they actually are.

h/t Amanda.

Wait till they discover that the hordes of children were camouflaging how much their mall sucks on its own merits

Monday, November 5th, 2007

When I was a child, downtown Cleveland had something around three major department stores, the kind you actually had to visit an urban area to see. We went every winter to see Mr. Jing-a-ling, a Santa look-alike who hosted brunch; people had their bridal registries there and we traveled to these departments stores for special occasion clothes – suits, first communion dresses, formal dresses – that you just couldn’t find outside the glamorous big city. Even as late as 1986, going Downtown was kind of an experience.

Of course, now the pale imitation of a shopping center that replaced the now-defunct department stores of yore is falling on hard times, and it’s clearly not because it’s got the same Victoria’s Secret and Waldenbooks my local mall has; it must be those damn black kids!

A downtown Cleveland mall is implementing one of the nation’s toughest curfews on teenagers, joining a growing national trend among shopping centers that say loud, unruly youngsters drive away paying customers.

The mall, Tower City Center, said it would ban anyone under 18 after 2:30 p.m. unless he or she was accompanied by an adult.

What time does school get out again? Just askin’.

I’ve walked through this mall a couple of times. Yes, the kids are obnoxious douchebags, and the begging problem outside is quite annoying. But the kids are concentrated mainly in the movie theatre and the food court and you know what else is obnoxious? That horrible screeching thing installed in the alleys to keep the homeless from sleeping in them. So Cleveland’s mall has fallen on tough times, and like most Cleveland institutions, they’ve hit on a solution that is about as bad as the problem it was meant to solve.

Tower City is the 51st of the nation’s 1,104 large retail shopping centers to impose a curfew on minors, according to the International Council of Shopping Centers. But it is one of the few whose policy will be in effect seven days a week; most mall curfews restrict teenagers only on weekends or after 6 p.m., the council said.

The curfew is part of Tower City’s new Parental Involvement Program, which Krieger said was in keeping with “a national trend as retail centers seek to create a family-friendly atmosphere.”

Getting rid of the scary hordes of black child-thugs with their ‘hip-hop’ and their- I dunno, dark skin?- may help the “family-friendly” (euphemism for whatnow?) atmosphere, but why would Mr. & Mrs. WhiteFlight lug their kids all the way to the center of downtown to shop at Tower City when every damn mall around the ‘burbs offers the same basic stores and nearby Beachwood and Legacy Village offer way better pretentious luxury goods shopping Midwest-style (seriously, they have a Pottery Barn Kids, WTF?) and free parking?

“I know the kids can be kind of intimidating, especially for people that are from out of town or from outside of the city,” said Tishara Clement of Cleveland.

Who? Who is coming from out of town or outside of the city? Who? People don’t even come here to see the damn Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, who the hell is traveling from anywhere more distant than Parma to shop in our exclusive Lady Foot Locker?

Ah, yes, those imaginary people who are just dying to come to Cleveland if only we’d build a convention center or ban smoking or clap our hands, yes everybody, clap your hands!

On balance, said Krieger, of Tower City, many mall managers are concluding that it’s worth the loss of vitality and sales from younger visitors to lure back adults and out-of-towners who may be intimidated by loud groups of teenagers.

“The centers that have done this are really seeing their centers go up, and they’re seeing more families wanting to come back,” she said.

How to Enter a Cleanroom

Friday, November 2nd, 2007

Last year, I was fortunate enough to have to work in a cleanroom once a week, which as the name implies is supposed to be a Very Clean Room. I had largely forgotten about that fun until today, when iGoogle posted in its “how to” section on my homepage these instructions for entering a cleanroom, apparently written by someone who once read about entering a cleanroom. Since this is very helpful knowledge for anyone thinking of getting a job in a cleanroom, and you are by the way insane, I thought I’d pass it on to you.

A cleanroom is an environment, typically used in manufacturing or scientific research, that has a low level of environmental pollutants such as dust, airborne microbes, aerosol particles and chemical vapors. If you have been asked to work in one, you’ll need to take the appropriate steps to avoid introducing contamination.

A cleanroom is a room that has anywhere between 1 (1!) and 1,000,000 particulates of certain sizes (they measure down to 0.1 micron, or 0.0000001 m, particles for the cleanest ones) per cubic foot of air. In comparison, the air in your room is practically a solid block of crap containing five hundred million to a billion particles per cubic foot, some of which you can actually see. In America, the opportunities to spend all day in this hellishly pristine environment are few and far between; a mid-sized class 100 cleanroom can cost millions of dollars to build and takes up tons of space, and they are insanely expensive to maintain. In Asia, where our TVs and laptops come from, labor is cheaper than automation for many cleanroom tasks and thousands of fortunate Chinese technicians get to spend all day, every day in “bunny suits.” Some clean rooms are so clean that people get to wear two bunny suits to go in them, and those are the luckiest people of all.

Aside from regular wiping-down and vacuuming, a cleanroom is kept clean by constantly filtering the air. New air is drawn in from the outside, completely dehumidified and scrubbed, then rehumidified before being forced through the ceiling. The air is drawn through to the floor where it is dismissed as filthy, takes a pit stop in a filter to remove any dangerous vapors, and is chucked back outside. I forget why they don’t recycle, but rest assured there is a very good reason because all of this filtering is not cheap and cleanroom administrators all over the world would be very, very interested in making that process less costly.

The reason for all of this excessive care is to protect delicate and expensive processes from the dirty dirty world, and no part of the world is filthier than you and your clothes. For this reason, there is a special outfit and elaborate gowning procedure that anyone who wishes to enter a cleanroom must follow. Go to the bathroom first, because this is going to take awhile. I’ll wait.

Ok, ready? Let’s go:
(more…)

So much for Colbert/Gore…

Friday, November 2nd, 2007

Alas, the candidacy of Stephen Colbert has come to an end:

Stephen Colbert’s bid to formally join the presidential race in South Carolina was rejected Thursday by the state’s Democratic Party leaders, who said that the late-night comedian’s candidacy would distract from the serious business of picking a presidential nominee.

The LA Times isn’t kidding. The Democratic Party in South Carolina actually referred to the primary as “serious:”

“He clearly doesn’t meet the requirements,” said Waring Howe Jr., one of the executive council members who voted against Colbert. “It’s a distraction and takes away from the seriousness of our primary here and takes attention from the serious candidates: Clinton, Edwards, Barack Obama and the rest.”

I’m sorry, but nobody with the name Waring Howe Jr. could be taken seriously. And what, exactly, is so serious about the primary process? Is it its antiquated existence, meant for a time before any moron could puke on his computer screen and have it baby-birded by thousands? Is it the smear campaigns that allege drug use, homosexual behavior, and/or masturbation to American Eagle rape porn? Maybe it’s the candidates themselves, striving to be as innocuous as possible if they’re Democrats or gunning for the triple crown (anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-minority) if they’re Republicans.

For those of you who’ve seen the film Election, doesn’t this strike you as the ultimate Tammy Metzler moment? Whenever a candidate dares to point out the futility, the ridiculousness of some “democratic” charade, you can bet that whoever’s in charge will drive them out of the race ASAP. The fear that someone against the system will actually use it to make enough noise to change it is the ultimate fear of party hacks everywhere.

Howe added that he thought that Colbert “might be trying to use us . . . to achieve some kind of status he doesn’t really deserve.”

The only people who deserve to be the next President are people who had the gall to stand up to the current one before it was cool. And you know who did that? Stephen freaking Colbert. He may well have been the first person in the history of the universe to stand in the same room as George Bush and point out *exactly* why Dubya’s an embarrassment, a war criminal, and a sourpuss. That it was also funny is incidental; Colbert demonstrated more backbone in the face of Republican evil than the other candidates combined. I’m surprised he’s still breathing, honestly.

But executive council members were apparently more swayed by a letter from Donald L. Fowler. The former state and national party chairman wrote that Colbert had failed to register with the Federal Election Commission, to maintain a campaign staff in South Carolina and to meet other requirements to establish a viable campaign.

“He seeks to make a travesty of our primary,” one that could even taint the value of a victory by a mainstream candidate there, Fowler wrote.

All of our real candidates are already tainted. Couldn’t South Carolina have at least let us enjoy a little longer the illusion that someone who isn’t a taint could someday be President?

Shocking update: people do bad things anonymously on the internet

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

Via N4G, Britain’s Sky News is up in arms over a playground location in the video game Second Life in which child avatars perform sexual favors:

Getting off on pixelated children humping your digital avatar is both twisted and sad. I get that. If someone I knew confessed to this sort of behavior, I admit I’d be pretty appalled. Ditto trolling Second Life rape clubs. But is anyone surprised by this? I think I’d be more surprised if it turned out that absolutely no one in all of Second Life was trying to fuck people and things they shouldn’t.

Whenever enough humans assemble in one location, be it digital or tangible, weird and/or disturbing activities will occur. This will only be exacerbated if people can do it anonymously, which is certainly the case in Second Life. Plenty of people are repressed, or their curious, or they’re simply deviant, or whatever — and this is no fault of Second Life. The game is merely a reflection of our actual society and the desires of the people living in it. Millions of people on this planet want to fuck kids. *Of course* some of them play Second Life. Has Sky News clued into how much pedophilia and rape/sim-rape happens online involving *actual* people? Perhaps they should send their smarmy investigator to track down people who’ve already passed through the supposed gateway drug of Second Life and are molesting more than 1s and 0s.

I fail to see what Sky News hoped to accomplish here, other than being linked by Deviant Titillation Central… which they were.