Comments on: Wait till they discover that the hordes of children were camouflaging how much their mall sucks on its own merits

By: bridgetka

bridgetka — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:15:18 +0000

Kyso, I love your Cleveland posts.

By: Sophist, FCD

Sophist, FCD — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 06:46:45 +0000

…you know what else is obnoxious? That horrible screeching thing installed in the alleys to keep the homeless from sleeping in them.

Huh? I thought Pamela Geller Oshry was installed in Long Island?

By: Kyso Kisaen

Kyso Kisaen — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 04:10:07 +0000

As you said, suburbia now has everything that a city downtown has, minus special unique little boutiques - and the Internet has those.

I’d say a good city still beats suburbia; but it has to be good: good food, good public transport, places to hang out when you are not actually spending money right that second, a good music scene, stuff like that. Cleveland has approximately none of these.

There’s no place more depressing than Cleveland on a Sunday afternoon. The place is about as welcoming as a parking garage. There are some inner-ring suburbs that have some life to them, but downtown is dead.

By: Ailurophile

Ailurophile — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:59:23 +0000

Agreed it’s a terrible solution to the problem. As you said, suburbia now has everything that a city downtown has, minus special unique little boutiques - and the Internet has those. Anyone with an Etsy or Ebay account can sell clothes, jewelry, furniture, candles, etc. online. Why go downtown for that gauze skirt and handmade silver jewelry that will show the world that you are a Very Unique and Special Snowflake who never shops at the Gap, when you can buy it online?

By: softdog

softdog — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 21:47:58 +0000

Yes because if there’s one thing which an urban adult thinks when making a shopping choice it’s “which downwardly mobile shopping mall will force me to stick with my kids the entire time I’m shopping?”

Or “wow, I’d really like to go downtown to shop in seedy versions of chain stores I can visit anywhere, were it not for the presence of teenagers.”

By: j

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:54:24 +0000

Great post. Our mall has a similar ban in place, but it’s enforced largely along racial lines (surprise, surprise), so despite being under 18, I have nothing to fear because I’m not black or Hispanic. Now every visit to the mall in the late afternoon is another reminder about privilege, racism, and ageism.

No screeching anti-homeless alarms yet (we’re substantially smaller than Cleveland), but it’s probably only a matter of time.

By: Kyso Kisaen

Kyso Kisaen — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 17:05:39 +0000

I really hate those alley alarms. It’s Cleveland in a nutshell:

Problem: too many homeless skulking around.

Solution: Drive them out of paying customer’s sight with high-pitched, repetitive noise. That way, paying customers don’t have to look at poor people and only the ones who think are bothered by the reminder, at regular, screaming intervals, that we really have no real solutions to Ohio’s depressingly awful poverty problem.

Problem: Empty crap mall whose vacuum sucks in bored urban youth.

Solution: Ban the youth. Out of sight, out of mind! Wait for money to roll in, any day now!

By: elyzabethe

elyzabethe — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:53:26 +0000

as a fellow Ohioan, I find this hilarious.

although, my parents have traveled (from Cincy) to Cleveland to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame …