Wait till they discover that the hordes of children were camouflaging how much their mall sucks on its own merits
Published by Kyso Kisaen November 5th, 2007 in Racism, Shame on you for not being rich white and privileged, CultureWhen I was a child, downtown Cleveland had something around three major department stores, the kind you actually had to visit an urban area to see. We went every winter to see Mr. Jing-a-ling, a Santa look-alike who hosted brunch; people had their bridal registries there and we traveled to these departments stores for special occasion clothes - suits, first communion dresses, formal dresses - that you just couldn’t find outside the glamorous big city. Even as late as 1986, going Downtown was kind of an experience.
Of course, now the pale imitation of a shopping center that replaced the now-defunct department stores of yore is falling on hard times, and it’s clearly not because it’s got the same Victoria’s Secret and Waldenbooks my local mall has; it must be those damn black kids!
A downtown Cleveland mall is implementing one of the nation’s toughest curfews on teenagers, joining a growing national trend among shopping centers that say loud, unruly youngsters drive away paying customers.
The mall, Tower City Center, said it would ban anyone under 18 after 2:30 p.m. unless he or she was accompanied by an adult.
What time does school get out again? Just askin’.
I’ve walked through this mall a couple of times. Yes, the kids are obnoxious douchebags, and the begging problem outside is quite annoying. But the kids are concentrated mainly in the movie theatre and the food court and you know what else is obnoxious? That horrible screeching thing installed in the alleys to keep the homeless from sleeping in them. So Cleveland’s mall has fallen on tough times, and like most Cleveland institutions, they’ve hit on a solution that is about as bad as the problem it was meant to solve.
Tower City is the 51st of the nation’s 1,104 large retail shopping centers to impose a curfew on minors, according to the International Council of Shopping Centers. But it is one of the few whose policy will be in effect seven days a week; most mall curfews restrict teenagers only on weekends or after 6 p.m., the council said.
The curfew is part of Tower City’s new Parental Involvement Program, which Krieger said was in keeping with “a national trend as retail centers seek to create a family-friendly atmosphere.”
Getting rid of the scary hordes of black child-thugs with their ‘hip-hop’ and their- I dunno, dark skin?- may help the “family-friendly” (euphemism for whatnow?) atmosphere, but why would Mr. & Mrs. WhiteFlight lug their kids all the way to the center of downtown to shop at Tower City when every damn mall around the ‘burbs offers the same basic stores and nearby Beachwood and Legacy Village offer way better pretentious luxury goods shopping Midwest-style (seriously, they have a Pottery Barn Kids, WTF?) and free parking?
“I know the kids can be kind of intimidating, especially for people that are from out of town or from outside of the city,” said Tishara Clement of Cleveland.
Who? Who is coming from out of town or outside of the city? Who? People don’t even come here to see the damn Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, who the hell is traveling from anywhere more distant than Parma to shop in our exclusive Lady Foot Locker?
Ah, yes, those imaginary people who are just dying to come to Cleveland if only we’d build a convention center or ban smoking or clap our hands, yes everybody, clap your hands!
On balance, said Krieger, of Tower City, many mall managers are concluding that it’s worth the loss of vitality and sales from younger visitors to lure back adults and out-of-towners who may be intimidated by loud groups of teenagers.
“The centers that have done this are really seeing their centers go up, and they’re seeing more families wanting to come back,” she said.
as a fellow Ohioan, I find this hilarious.
although, my parents have traveled (from Cincy) to Cleveland to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame …
I really hate those alley alarms. It’s Cleveland in a nutshell:
Problem: too many homeless skulking around.
Solution: Drive them out of paying customer’s sight with high-pitched, repetitive noise. That way, paying customers don’t have to look at poor people and only the ones who think are bothered by the reminder, at regular, screaming intervals, that we really have no real solutions to Ohio’s depressingly awful poverty problem.
Problem: Empty crap mall whose vacuum sucks in bored urban youth.
Solution: Ban the youth. Out of sight, out of mind! Wait for money to roll in, any day now!
Great post. Our mall has a similar ban in place, but it’s enforced largely along racial lines (surprise, surprise), so despite being under 18, I have nothing to fear because I’m not black or Hispanic. Now every visit to the mall in the late afternoon is another reminder about privilege, racism, and ageism.
No screeching anti-homeless alarms yet (we’re substantially smaller than Cleveland), but it’s probably only a matter of time.
Yes because if there’s one thing which an urban adult thinks when making a shopping choice it’s “which downwardly mobile shopping mall will force me to stick with my kids the entire time I’m shopping?”
Or “wow, I’d really like to go downtown to shop in seedy versions of chain stores I can visit anywhere, were it not for the presence of teenagers.”
Agreed it’s a terrible solution to the problem. As you said, suburbia now has everything that a city downtown has, minus special unique little boutiques - and the Internet has those. Anyone with an Etsy or Ebay account can sell clothes, jewelry, furniture, candles, etc. online. Why go downtown for that gauze skirt and handmade silver jewelry that will show the world that you are a Very Unique and Special Snowflake who never shops at the Gap, when you can buy it online?
As you said, suburbia now has everything that a city downtown has, minus special unique little boutiques - and the Internet has those.
I’d say a good city still beats suburbia; but it has to be good: good food, good public transport, places to hang out when you are not actually spending money right that second, a good music scene, stuff like that. Cleveland has approximately none of these.
There’s no place more depressing than Cleveland on a Sunday afternoon. The place is about as welcoming as a parking garage. There are some inner-ring suburbs that have some life to them, but downtown is dead.
Huh? I thought Pamela Geller Oshry was installed in Long Island?
Kyso, I love your Cleveland posts.