In other news, Karl Rove refuses to shit unless he eats more of it
Published by punkass marc September 13th, 2007 in Imperialism for DummiesConspiracy theorists, you’ve been thwarted again!
I know there were tons of you out there grousing about how the invasion of Iraq was intended to garner more oil for the gluttonous needs of the ol’ US of A, but now we can prove that’s pure poppycock. Thanks to State of the Day, we’ve uncovered a Truthout document that shows just how backwards those wacky ideas are:
a recent GAO report stated an additional $57 billion in U.S. tax dollars will be needed to bring oil and electricity production to the level where it can satisfy Iraq’s domestic demand by the year 2015.
Boom goes the dynamite! Silly conspiracy types. We can’t have invaded Iraq for oil — they need a crapload of our money and 8 more years until they can satisfy their *own* oil and power needs. And given how spectacularly badly we’ve estimated everything to this point, I’d go ahead and triple those figures if we want to get the *complete* truth out.
I guess the only weird thing is that we’re running out of reasons why we fought this war. The whole WMD thing has been hammered to death (one tiny little fib; you’d think millions of people died for it or something!). We didn’t actually destroy any terrorist cells (and technically we probably created a few more than there were before). But hey, at least all you folks who thought our Fine President was pulling a Beverly Hillbillies have also been proven wrong.
Texas tea
Now pay up. We have to hook the Iraqi economy on fossil fuels again and fast.
Actually Big Oil makes its profits on their effective monopoly on refining oil they have - american and british companies basically buy crude oil on the cheap from our puppets in the middle east, latin americas and canada, Oh canada (who we import most of our oil from, but teh Saud and similar sells it cheaper for obvious reasons) - because crude oil is useless - and so most of our imperialism for oiley reasons is based on, basically, cockblocking other country’s access to crude oil they can use to break into the refining business, which would have the nasty knock on effect of lowing the price paid for useful fuel Big Oil then sells to retailers and the government - which is where the real money is made.
And to that end Iraq IS a success, because it stopped that nasty oil leak there’d been during Saddam’s reign under the embargo, and stopped Russia shoving that pipe up Afghanistan.
See also ALOT of what’s happened in africa over the past couple of years, with new oil fields being discovered here ther eand everywhere, and our attempted coup d’ete(s) in venezuela during the 90’s, and also the up coming sortie with Iran.