Send those dirty Arkansans back where they came from!
Published by punkass marc July 6th, 2007 in Filtered Propaganda, Mutterings Of The DisturbedHey, you, in Arkansas. How come you talk funny? Where did that strange foreign language you warble out come from? Why don’t you just use English like a normal person?
These, apparently, were the sorts of thoughts running through the mind of Tony Snow yesterday, because his response to Senator Clinton’s lambasting of the dismissal of Libby’s sentence was this:
“I don’t know what Arkansan is for chutzpah, but this is a gigantic case of it,” presidential spokesman Tony Snow said.
Let us forget for a moment that Our Nation’s Leading Spokesperson made the abominable grammatical error “I don’t know what Arkansan is for chutzpah” when he meant to say “I don’t know what the Arkansan word for chutzpah is.” [Well, let us forget it after I make the following wisecrack: Gee, I wonder what's Tony Snow for 'I talk like shit?']
Let us forget that having real guts is a “case” of something to Mr. Snow, meaning he thinks (hopes?) it’s something he can catch.
And let us forget that the title of the article is “Bush aide pokes at Clintons,” which is a little gross and doesn’t even begin to describe who the man insulted.
Rather, let us concentrate on what he did say, which was that, apparently, Arkansans speak a different language than Mr. Snow. Did he mean for this to be a creative way to jab at the pardons issued by the Clinton administration? Of course. Did he wind up expressing it in a way that reveals his prejudice against those “funny talkers” in the South? Kinda looks that way to me.
So let us celebrate that the official spokesperson for the President, the same President who carried the state of Arkansas in 2000 and 2004, believes that the folks nestled in the bosom of Red country are damn near foreigners. And you know how conservatives feel about foreigners who speak different languages, don’t you?
Well, I speak Redneck, and I can tell you that the word for Tony Snow is “asshole”. Perhaps he’s heard it. It’s relentlessly amusing/distressing to me how the D.C. political elite can barely conceal that they think that the Clintons are straw-chewing inbred hicks from trailer parks, but then they turn around and market Bush like he’s a good ol’ boy. Well, not distressing to me that they do it, but that their target audience for that seems to buy into it, despite the huge ass contradictions.
Yeah, this is right funny. I’m laughing my shoes off down here in Pork Smith. Oh, wait. We ain’t can afford shoes, that’s right. I forgot. Only our betters up Norf get to wear shoes. Well, fuck me, then.
“I don’t know what Arkansan is for chutzpah, but this is a gigantic case of it,”
My grandmother used to say “don’t let your crocodile mouth overload your parakeet butt”, but other than that, fuck off, Tony.
i’m sorry, delagar, i can’t understand you. could you please speak in snow?
Mr. Marc, I believe that Mr. Delgar’s comments translate roughly as “I find Mr. Snow’s comments so hilarious that, if I weren’t a poor, miserable wretch living in the border outpost of Fort Smith, Arkansas, in the remote wilderness near Indian Territory, and thus unable to afford footwear due to my extreme poverty, I would laugh until said footwear was dislodged from my person.”
I’m sorry that I am unable to translate fully to Snow, as I possess only one face, and have not yet mastered the double-speak dialect. But maybe some intrepid Snowian can take it from here.