PunkAssBlog.com

Have you noticed all those terrible storms that we’ve started to encounter as a result of warmer oceans? And all those rising sea levels that threaten the existence of major cities around the globe? And just how generally fucked we all may be as a result of global warming?

Well, law firms have, too. They’re expecting that as more lives are ruined the way they were ruined in New Orleans, and as more information comes out pointing to Big Energy’s full awareness of the dangers presented by their CO2 emissions, there’ll be some beaucoup-bucks lawsuitin’ ahead.

Check out the haps in Dallas:

Top Dallas firm Thompson & Knight started a dedicated climate-change practice June 4 with 26 lawyers. Monday, Dallas’ Vinson & Elkins will unveil its 41-lawyer group, headed by a former senior counsel for the World Bank.

The law firms – and a dozen others nationwide – are getting ready for a predicted explosion of climate-related work tied to government regulation, lawsuits against energy companies and new markets that will trade the rights to emit carbon.

As friend and reader Sigmund pointed out to me, the trail of money is the best barometer for reality in America. And along with the formation earlier this year of The United States Climate Action Partnership, which includes companies like DuPont, GE, BP, and others banding together to request emissions regulations, the creation of massive legal departments concentrating solely on climate change litigation and regulation should send a loud and clear signal to the last few remaining holdouts (like, say, the head of NASA) that global warming is real and impacting our lives in significant ways.

So the next time Grandpa tells you that global warming crap is crap, just wait for him to fart and then hit him with a class-action lawsuit. You, your mom, and your Uncle Albert have suffered enough of his harmful CO2 emissions, and Thompson & Knight and Vincent & Elkins are here to help. Just make sure you enlist their help before Grandpa does, though, because these firms are more than happy to play both sides:

By their geography, the Dallas firms have a number of energy companies as clients. But they also expect to represent plaintiffs who’ve been harmed by global warming and pollution.

Mmmm. Them’s good fees! They’ll spend nicely when Thompson’s or Elkins’ descendants are purchasing black market water credits in the Iowa desert.

[And, no, I’m not opposed to suing the pants off any companies at fault, but it also might be a little late for it to help much…]