Pornifying the penguins
Published by Sabotabby June 15th, 2007 in Film, HUH!?, What Patriarchy?What is this?
I don’t know about you, but it took me several long minutes of staring at this to realize it was supposed to be a penguin. A Gentoo Penguin, actually, from the movie’s official site. Which is, you’ll note, a rather plump, pear-shaped bird.
But we all know that we can’t have plump, pear-shaped female characters of any species on a large screen—it might give women and girls the undesirable idea that they can take up physical space. So we have the strangely deformed result: a sexy animated penguin with boobs. Small boobs—it’s a children’s film after all—but still boobs on something that isn’t a mammal. (Note that the, er, male penguin characters in the movie actually do look like penguins.)
The mind, she boggles.
ohhh, anthropomorphic personification! where would deviantART furry porn & children’s movies be without you?
PENGUIN HENT*I!
When I thought the mainstream couldn’t sink any lower, they bring us anorexic penguins.
Oh, please. Just admit that you’d all tap that doe-eyed freaky-limbed waddling sexbomb. Rwarrr!
Even the cephalopod looks upon us with shame and mortification.
does that mean the mind has boobs as well?
What, no jokes yet about Penguin Lust ?
I whipped up a modified Lani to test the “Surf’s Up” hypothesis that unless a character has an hourglass shape and disgustingly tiny shoulder joints we’d never be able to tell it’s female.
ZOMG! She looks a bit more like a penguin, yet I can still determine the gender.
And if, for some reason, your first thought was “yeah, but I don’t want to fuck it as much,” you need a lot of help on a lot of levels. And you’ll probably need something other than Photoshop to provide it.
And for a real scare-fest, look at this Lani for a second then scroll back up to the top to look at theirs again.
Damn, Marc. I’m offended. That penguin looks like it’s being played by Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. In which case, I believe you are required by both the Media Communications Hawtness Act of 1996 and the 1984 Standarized Female Differentiator Code to cover that shit up.
There, I think we can all agree that this is much nicer.
Boing!
And tentacle pr0n.