Is Amanda losing out to “confectionary Christ” and his chocolate ding-dong?
Published by punkass marc May 30th, 2007 in Godbaggery, Cock!Behold the new face (and cock) of evil:
Yep, that’s supposed to be Jesus. And he’s made of milk chocolate. And contrary to the selective memory of some Christians, Jesus had a pee-pee. It’s even possible (probable?) he had the gall to be staked to the cross without the loincloth commonly found in the family-friendly death scenes displayed in your neighborhood churches.
And now that Catholics pitched a hissy, he’s being taken down.
I knew there was quite an uproar over the choice of a NYC art gallery to display what MSNBC referred to as a “confectionary Christ,” but I had no idea that Super Christ had gotten involved:
Bill Donohue, head of the watchdog Catholic League, said it was “one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever.”
I realize Amanda Marcotte might be considered by Donohue to be the worst assault on Christian sensibilities ever, but those are strong words, stronger even than the ones he used to describe the horrible atrocities commited on tEh interweBz by Amanda and her gang of Satanic pandas. I’m worried she’s been surpassed by naked chocolate Jesus on the evil-o-meter, and if so, I’m wondering how she can reclaim the belt from this delicious usurper.
What if we made a chocolate sculpture of Amanda performing that oh-so-famous scene from The Exorcist? What if we made it out of aborted fetus tissue?
I suppose she could rape and plunder a Christian nation, but the Muslims seem to have cornered that particular brand of victimhood (suckas!).
What if Amanda used the Shroud of Turin as toilet paper then wiped the Pope’s face with it? What if she wiped Bill’s face with it?
If Amanda took video of an assisted suicide and put it to a Jars of Clay song, would that do the trick?
Then again, maybe there’s nothing we can do. Amanda doesn’t have a brown dick that makes you want to put it in your mouth, and maybe that’s the worst thing Bill could ever encounter.
I wonder if he’d be this mad if it were made of white chocolate.
And contrary to the selective memory of some Christians, Jesus had a pee-pee.
Please show more respect for the Lord. The word is “cock”.
What if we made a chocolate sculpture of Amanda performing that oh-so-famous scene from The Exorcist? What if we made it out of aborted fetus tissue?
Oh, some things even I believe are reserved for the wedding night.
“I wonder if he’d be this mad if it were made of white chocolate.”
I’m just guessing here, but probably not. I got the feeling that his “color” was also part of the “problem”.
But I do have to ask about a version sculpted in frozen semen. Maybe?…
Oh, some things even I believe are reserved for the wedding night.
Well, I thought nothing could top an ice sculpture off which the guests do shots, but you win.
Since I’m used to seeing varnished wooden statues, the colour never occurred to me. I’m more offended by wasting that much chocolate.
does jesus have a ponytail??
It looks like Steven Seagal.
Except not fat.
Lisa: Why does Jesus have a lasso?
Homer: Cause he’s all man.
Is it wrong that I think chocolate jesus is hot?
Worse than the lions?