What was I saying about HPV again?
Published by punkass marc May 10th, 2007Because it looks like it _can_ wreak cancer havoc across the gender divide:
Oral sex has been linked to throat cancer in a new study by the New England Journal of Medicine.
Human papillomavirus (HPV), which can be transmitted during oral sex, is the main cause of oropharyngeal (throat) cancer, researchers found. The study is the first to prove the link.
Man or woman, it turns out that if you’ve put your mouth on 6+ sets of genitals that aren’t your own, you’ve got a notably higher chance of acquiring oral cancer. Fortunately, it’s still not _that_ likely:
“People should be reassured that oropharyngeal cancer is relatively uncommon, and the overwhelming majority of people with an oral HPV infection probably will not get throat cancer,” said Gillison.
Did you know that there’s a vaccine on the market that could decrease your son’s chances of getting throat cancer by 50%? Ask your doctor! Vaccinate your daughters as well, to protect other people’s sons! Oh, yeah, and they won’t get this other way more common form of cancer.
I like the side benefit of Gardasil saving women from cervical cancer. It helps provide more healthy oral sex providers for men!
Then again, you really should only be receiving oral sex after marriage. If everyone waited until then, there’d be no icky sexcancers at all!
But after marriage I can have sex with whomever I want, right? Because otherwise, what’s the point?
Psh. Your son’s not going to get throat cancer. He’d have to perform cunnilingus, which he won’t do because it’s against God and it’s gross. As for those girls going down on him, well, they probably deserve it.
Man or woman, it turns out that if you’ve put your mouth on 6 sets of genitals that aren’t your own, you’ve got a notably higher chance of acquiring oral cancer.
If, on the other hand, you’ve put your mouth on your own genitals, you risk back injury. This risk is offset by the likelihood that you never leave the house anyway.