Knowing when your gals are on the rag is the key to keeping things running smoothly around the office
Published by Kyso Kisaen April 11th, 2007 in Shame on you for being a woman, What Patriarchy?Female civil servants in the Indian government’s employ are a little miffed to find out that they work for a bunch of panty-sniffers.
Women civil servants in India have expressed shock at new appraisal rules which require them to reveal details of their menstrual cycles.
Under the new nationwide requirements, female officials also have to say when they last sought maternity leave.
Man, if there’s anything my boss cares about, it’s the details of my menstrual cycle. He’s always all, ’so, Kyso, how’s the vaginal bleeding going? Normal? Good to hear!’ and I appreciate his concern.
The questions at the root of the controversy are on page 58 of the new appraisal forms for the current year issued by the federal Ministry for Personnel, Public Grievances and Pensions.
A 58-or-more page annual mandatory appraisal? Criminey.
Women officers must write down their “detailed menstrual history and history of LMP [last menstrual period] including date of last confinement [maternity leave],” the form says.
I would have trouble complying simply because I don’t really track this information. I suspect that most women, unless they have a reason, don’t really keep records of their periods for more than a month or two. Go ahead, ask me about a period I had 12 months ago. Then ask me what I had for dinner on June 12, 2005. The answers are the same: I don’t fucking remember.
India’s female government employees, clearly driven insane by their rampaging hormones (if only we could track their moods somehow!), reacted in a most unbecoming, feminine fashion:
“I am completely shocked!” said Sharwari Gokhale, environment secretary in western Maharashtra state.
“I have absolutely no words to describe how I feel and I have no intention of telling them anything about my personal life.
“It’s gob smacking.”
…Seema Vyas, agreed that the new questions were uncalled for…”But there is no need for these details as this does not have any bearing on our work,” she told the BBC.
“When we apply for maternity leave, we put in the appropriate application and the government already has those records so why ask again?”
Luckily, real leadership was displayed by that man who gave one newspaper a quote in which he blamed nameless ministry officials in language that implied he didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Surely everything will calm down soon.
Despite repeated attempts, the BBC was unable to speak to the head of the personnel department, Satyanand Mishra.
The Hindustan Times newspaper quoted him as saying the questions were based on advice from the Ministry of Health.
“We sought the ministry’s help to draw up a health-history format. I assume this will help evaluate the officer’s fitness,” he told the paper.
Ok these women have GOT to fight fire with fire. Details? I’ll give ya details! I move that no woman shut up about her period until these antediluvian rules get revoked! Men will be running away! Who’s the sillier sex now?
It’s a good thing I keep a visitor’s log in my hoo-ha, otherwise I’d never remember who comes and what goes. I imagine Indian women might want to get one.
I assume there’s a male equivalent requiring documented evidence of all emissions, nocturnal or otherwise, together with recorded volume, quality and purpose?
I vote they begin providing samples. You know. To complement an otherwise boring sheet of paper. Maybe they could start using their menstrual blood to make fingerpaintings their bosses could then place on company refrigerators. That would be sweet of them.