I volunteered as a clinic escort and won this awesome BMX bike!
Published by Kyso Kisaen March 22nd, 2007 in Punkass!, Feminism, Public Procrastination, What Patriarchy?Marc’s recent post (which is all about the - dare I say it? P-word) has, predictably, generated some defensive posts. A patriarchy post is not as good as a blowjob post for fanning the flames of the blogosphere, but a patriarchy post written by a guy can generate a decent amount of heat. Unfortunately, Marc’s burn-the-village-and-salt-their-fields method of dealing with trolls has deleted the very comment by PatrickKelly (?) that inspired this post, so I can’t directly quote it. I’ll have to paraphrase:
Patriarchy is bad. But matriarchy would also be bad. But I think patriarchy is the one I benefit from, plus it’s what we already got, so that’s where I’m placing my bets. I think I’ll use the term “humanarchy” as well to show you all that while feminists are dividers, I’m a uniter.
However, if you feminists were more willing to lavish me with recognition and praise, maybe I’d do more to subvert the patriarchy from my privileged inside position. But if I don’t get any credit, then screw you.
If Marc could retrieve the original comment, that’d be great.
The attitude of some of these guys reminds me of my childhood in Overprivileged Suburbansprawlia. In Suburbansprawlia, we had lavish junior/senior proms complete with afterparties to keep us occupied with not having sex. The proms were so insane that classes of 300+ kids had to start fundraising and saving starting in seventh grade. But it’s hard to get a 12 year old motivated about saving a crazy amount of money for a party 5 years in the future, so you have to turn it into a game. A competition with immediate results. We sold candy, chocolate bars, coupon books, popcorn, cookies, whatever. We competed against each other and against ourselves. So many dollars in sales went towards points redeemable for prizes ranging from the crappy to the impossible, plus the top sellers in each class would be rewarded with the best prize of all - money and glory in the form of a check presented to you on a stage infront of an audience of all the suckers you beat. Then we kind of vaguely wondered what the hell was happening to all this money, and long after we had forgotten about doing the work, we this huge, elaborate prom that I personally never attended.
This is what the patriarchy defenders want. Sure, they get that patriarchy is bad for women and that they should totally get around to doing something about it sometime. It’s just that right now, they don’t see that it’s bad for men too and that dismantaling the thing seems like it’s going to take so much time and effort and the goal is so far away and nebulous - if only there was a way to keep these guys motivated. Maybe if they saw more tangible benefits from all this hard patriarchy-subverting work, maybe they could keep doing that work.
Now, it’s pretty clear who they expect to be doing the work of both subverting the patriarchy AND stroking their balls about what good patriarchy subverters they are - at least one of the concern trolls was under the impression that I had written Marc’s post. Which made me giggle for a second, thinking about how awesome it would be to send pro-feminist men out to give these kids the thank-you blowjobs they feel they deserve.
Anyway, since I had a few hours to procrastinate this morning, I put together the introductory pamphlet for the new program I want to pitch to boy’s organizations and frats across the country. It’s a cool way that young men (in age and in maturity) can start to see the rewards of fighting the patriarchy almost immediately.
Readers! Delurk and help me make the program complete! I want your suggestions for ways to earn points, prizes and activities that a junior patriarchy smasher can do.
23 Responses to “I volunteered as a clinic escort and won this awesome BMX bike!”
- 1 Pingback on Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:42 pm
I WANT this poster. Have them made! Sell them!
Sorry I deleted that comment, but I’m afraid my tolerance for both “patriarchy doesn’t exist” and “I heart the patriarchy” has run out. There is no more constructive discussion to be had with those people than with white supremacists.
I’d retrieve it for you if I could, but the good news is that you captured the content of his nonsense almost verbatim.
I second the desire of one to put on my wall!! I will hang it so that when you walk in the house it assaults your vision with it’s tasty truth filled goodness. It will be a wonderful guest screening device, if they express some kind of stupid statement like the recent/constant trolls I’ll know they won’t be staying long, and never coming back.
Dude, I want one.
Excellent idea. We should distribute them to college dorms all over the nation, so that any time some dude starts babbling nonsense his unfortunate female companion can just sigh and point.
Want the poster! Want! Want!
Also, you’re my new hero
Some suggestions:
Attending a Women’s Studies/Gender Studies class with the intention of learning something — 250 points, and probably a passing grade in the course, but that’s up to your prof.
Practising bias-free language, even if you sometimes think it sounds silly — 50 points.
Volunteering at a sexuality education clinic — 200 points.
Engaging in a practice that is, in your culture traditionally a women’s job — 250 points
and, why not Volunteer as a clinic escort?
OK, I’ve enjoyed this blog for months, but this gem is absolutely priceless
Overprivileged Suburbansprawlia
thank you thank you thank you
I now have a new phrase in my lexicon…
By the way, which wordpress plugin are you using for your live comment preview and snazzy *poofity* effects to display the new post?
Hey N-A-T,
We use Live Comment Preview for maximum poofityness.
Marc is Cato?
Kato?
Cako!
I think refraining from commenting on the appearance of every woman you see, whether on tv or real life, when they’re journalists, politicians, some random woman interviewed on the news, or anything else where someone’s looks aren’t even remotely relevant, should earn about 50 points.
I hear you, Michelle.
Also, I can tell by the orange text of your name you’re sexy.
Oh you!….. can you tell by my typing that I’m blushing?
Sadly, only when it’s orange.
That needs to be a 22 x 28 poster and it needs to be on my fucking wall.
Best. Post. Ever. &hearts
Cato: Marcus Porcius Cato, aka ‘Carthago Delenda Est’
Not that I disagree with the method, actually
firefalluk, I think the saying is now “Irano Delenda Est”, right?…
I want one of those posters!!!!
MAKE THE POSTER !!!!
isn’t one of the squares on “anti-feminist bingo” the quote “patriarchy hurts men too”?
True, but it only counts in BINGO when some guy is using it to suggest that feminism has to solve all of men’s problems before we can expect them to move on to the women’s problems.