PunkAssBlog.com

I know I’m a day late, but I might as well introduce the family.

This is Harley, the overmerchandised American motorcycle.

And this is Fredo, his slightly bigger, slower brother.

This is how they spend 99 percent of their time.

If they ever do anything besides look pretty, I’ll let you know.

MSN could have saved some servers space had they just written one article entitled “You will never get what you need from the opposite sex so you might as well buy a masterbatory aid and call it a night” but then there’s only half as much space for ads, so they broke it up into […]

It’s probably no surprise that this absurd yarn was spun by the idle hands of some frat boys who have no other witnesses to back up their claims:
Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission on Thursday and began to masturbate on a couch.
While fraternity […]

Ohhhh. Creepy.
Wal-Mart, renowned to outsiders for its elbows-out business tactics, is known internally for its bare-knuckled no-expense-spared investigations of employees who break its ironclad ethics rules.
Over the last five years, Wal-Mart has assembled a team of former officials from the C.I.A., F.B.I. and Justice Department…
The investigators — whose résumés evoke Langley, Va., more than […]

In between the two extremes of “No abortions, ever!” and “Abortion on demand without apology” are the great masses of people who find the idea of abortion icky but aren’t quite comfortable with an outright ban. These people usually find a rung of the “exceptions for rape and/or incest and/or fetal deformities and/or the […]

The White House was the beneficiary of a brilliant stroke of luck today:
Tony Snow, the press secretary to President Bush, has suffered a recurrence of the colon cancer he battled two years ago, and the disease has spread, reaching the liver, White House officials said Tuesday.
Hooray! How fantastic for the Bush administration that Tony […]

Much has been made over the delightful discovery that feminism is bad for your health. Thank God someone figured that out, because if we don’t change our ways quickly we could end up being some kind of third world hellhole, just like Sweden:

Photo by surstubben

Photo by larinalou
Yes, yes, the horror.
However, we can not […]

Katie Couric, of all people, has called open season on questioning how Elizabeth’s cancer will affect Edwards’ campaign. Now that the topic has been broached, it will soon be time for the right wing noise machine too see which one of their top shit-stirrers can display the least possible amount of human decency on […]

WalMart is handing out bonuses for “Associate Celebration Day.” Ok, cool.
But could someone explain why this sounded good in their collective corporate heads?
Store associates and assistant managers with 20 or more years of service will get an extra week of pay under the new Servant Leadership bonus plan.
Emphasis mine. Please tell me there […]

Lisa KS sums up my reaction to the Christian Masturbator Uprising of 2007.
I’m actually really getting into the idea here that I’m making a bunch of buttwipes suffer agonies by my mere presence in their line of sight. This is totally awesome. How often does a bunch of really dipsh*t guys advertise so blatantly […]