when the status quo frustrates.

The line between shameless advertising for cosmetic surgery and soft-core porn is blurred, with hilarious results.

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

Is your vagina up to snuff? Probably not.

We all know about designer vaginas and elective labioplasty by now, but how can we know if it’s right for us? We need guidance, but we can’t go around asking just anyone if our vaginas are pretty. We need help from a trusted source-some place reputable, with years of experience in the research of vaginal aethstetics and our best interests at heart.

We need a place like The Vagina Institute, which combines a reassuring concern for the health and happiness of women (“Need a little help getting your genitalia to be prettier or tighter heightening its femininity. Vagina enhancement is soaring all over the world.”) with a clear scientific bias (“The Vagina Institute has been collecting and processing statistical data and information since 1995.”) and a mastery of the both the technical vocabulary of their field (“So women with large vaginal cavities will tend to produce more odor then women with smaller vaginal cavities when vaginal funk arises.”) and standard English (“We have uncovered many interesting findings that may be of interest to you.”)

I took the quiz, and was reassured that my vagina is of very good quality. And thank god for that, because I’m not so sure that my boyfriend would be very supportive of my decision to go out and spend perfectly good money on unnecessary surgery to make my vagina the bestest, most feminine it could be. If only my significant other was as supportive of me as some of the Vagina Institute’s commenters are of their own girlfriends:
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10.02.2007 "Science", Cock!, Shame on you for being a woman 26 Comments

Aw, Mom, can’t I draw the conclusions tomorrow?

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

Remember how hard it was for Woodward and Bernstein to produce evidence that President Richard Nixon broke the law? Accomplishing that difficult task made those men national heroes, and they’ve been coasting on the resulting fame and wealth for (ahem, a few too many) decades.

Getting your hands on the smoking gun used to be the crux of great investigative reporting. These days, though, smoking guns are lying around everywhere, in plain sight. They’re often produced by the bad guys themselves, openly flaunted in the public square as a sign of manhood. Maybe that’s why our national media has almost no interest in covering them or their logical implications.

Tristero works up an awesomely righteous rage over the NYT casually underplaying the Pentagon’s newest model of smoking gun, the proof that Rumself and Wolfowitz knowingly manufactured false cause for war, as nothing more than a cooked-up link.

Says Tristero:

Even in the face of an official report from the Pentagon inspector general which all but says so, the New York Times still cannot screw up the courage to state plainly the only possible conclusion: The Bush administration knowingly, criminally lied to the American people in order to start an illegal war and invade a country that, no matter how odious its leader, was no threat to the United States.

By making the evidence so easy to find, and often by producing it themselves, the Bush administration has defanged the national investigative media. Now these lazy reporters and their editors can simply hang out on teh internetz, where everything will be plopped into their laps in due time.

Problem is, surfing the web all day at your job kinda makes you sleepy. After 6 straight hours of gorging yourself on YouTube and Adult FriendFinder, I’m sure it’s pretty tough to work up a froth over anything, even a criminally insane White House. Besides, the sooner you knock out a quickie piece on whatever blabbity-blah briefly graced the splash page of Google News, the sooner you can get back to this:

By now, Bush could probably walk into the Times with an actual smoking gun and start executing every employee in sight and get away with it. As the Times might say, the President would merely be aggressively interpreting his wartime authority.

10.02.2007 Imperialism for Dummies, Media hackery 2 Comments

And a month later, still no one’s told him to stop talking before everyone realizes he’s insane.

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

Remember Steve Horner, that guy in Colorado who waged a righteous war against ladies night? Sure, we mocked him mercilessly but did we ever stop to get his side of the story?

The Daily Show’s John Oliver finally gives Steve a voice, and it’s ever bit as wonderful as you would imagine it to be.

Check out the whole clip at the Daily Show, or enjoy this mildly truncated version – you still get to watch him compare himself to Rosa Parks and even Jesus, but you miss the part where he declares how he’s going to “make a living out of this.”

10.02.2007 Punkass!, For the ladies, Looks like someone needs an intervention, Mutterings Of The Disturbed, Wankers 5 Comments

Plus by the time we need to open the vault, the surrounding land will likely be arable.

Friday, February 9th, 2007

When the planet melts and/or we otherwise manage to destroy ourselves, do not dispair. Instead, look to the future-look the Arctic.

The Svalbard International Seed Vault will be built into a mountainside on a remote island near the North Pole.

The vault aims to safeguard the world’s agriculture from future catastrophes, such as nuclear war, asteroid strikes and climate change.

It’s like Noah’s ark, but with plants instead of animals and it is very specifically designed to not float.

The Norwiegians are paying for it, so if I were you I’d stay on their good side. And if I may say, flatteringly but not obnoxiously so, they’ve really done a bang up job of planning against every horrible thing we could possibly do to shoot ourselves in the face agriculturally:

“We looked very far into the future. We looked at radiation levels inside the mountain, and we looked at the area’s geological structure,” he told BBC News.

“We also modelled climate change in a drastic form 200 years into future, which included the melting of ice sheets at the North and South Poles, and Greenland, to make sure that this site was above the resulting water level.”

By building the vault deep inside the mountain, the surrounding permafrost would continue to provide natural refrigeration if the mechanical system failed, explained Dr Fowler.

09.02.2007 Brilliant Ideas, Environment 1 Comment

Making murderers

Friday, February 9th, 2007

American troops in Iraq have killed a lot of people — some on purpose, some on accident. Anti-war voices can, must, and do emphasize the incalculable enormity of the tragedies our war policy has inflicted on the dead and their families. But we should also remember that state-sponsored murder doesn’t just produce victims. It also produces killers.

Take the case of the Idaho pilots who accidently gunned down a British soldier in 2003 after being told no friendlies were in the area. Now that one of the pilots’ identities has been revealed by the British tabloids, their story is starting to come to light. And it should sicken anyone who claims to support our troops by asking them to kill:

Two Idaho Air National Guard pilots involved in the death of a British soldier in Iraq are still troubled by the friendly fire incident nearly four years later, a general who oversees their fighter wing said.

“There’s not a day goes by that the pilots involved in this particular instance don’t think about this, and that’s something that they will live with and deal with the rest of their lives,” Brig. Gen. Gary L. Sayler told The Associated Press on Thursday.

And yet they’re still part of the fighting. We’re asking them to kill again. For what?

Like any large group, amongst soldiers you’ll find every type of psyche. Some probably live to kill. Some would have no trouble dismissing this mistake (or any other) as the cost of business. But I’d wager the majority of young men and women we send into Iraq will be forever tortured by the blood on their hands. Whether that blood belongs to insurgents, friendlies, or innocents, drawing it will take a heavy toll on many souls.

Two years ago, over 12,000 troops had already been treated for post traumatic stress disorder. They report experiences like those of Jesus Bocanegra:

“I had real bad flashbacks. I couldn’t control them,” Bocanegra, 23, says. “I saw the murder of children, women. It was just horrible for anyone to experience.”

I can’t imagine having to kill someone I don’t know under orders from somebody else for a cause this empty. By the sound of it, most of our soldiers can’t either.

Thanks for all the troop support, wingnuts. I’m sure our distraught soldiers and their unhappy families appreciate the efficiency of your murderer factory.

09.02.2007 Governmental Failures, Imperialism for Dummies 1 Comment

The Hate Boat

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

As you might’ve heard, today is the two year anniversary of Jonah Goldberg offering a wager to Juan Cole that, within two years, Iraq:

won’t have a civil war, that it will have a viable constitution, and that a majority of Iraqis and Americans will, in two years time, agree that the war was worth it.

Staring down the barrel of his own foolishness, you’d think Jonah would be humble, or apologetic, or at least more realistic about the quagmire his idols created. Instead, he’s decided to gloat over Juan Cole’s refusal to take him up on the wager! Never mind that Juan didn’t think it was cool to wager money on the odds of human misery — Jonah dodged having to pay out, and that means it’s time to PARRRRR-TAY!

And how do wingnuts properly celebrate further abdication of responsibility for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocents? Why, by taking an official National Review Cruise to Alaska, of course!

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08.02.2007 Moola, Wingnuts 4 Comments

What I want to know is this

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

If all you wanted was someone to parrot your views in your blog, why would you hire Amanda Marcotte to do it, instead of your local gas station attendant, your primary-care physician, or me? Do you also fill your gas tank with Cristal?

08.02.2007 Politics 1 Comment

It’s official

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

They’re staying.

I think the post by John Edwards struck the right tone — he’s not a fan of the aggro verbiage, which no presidential politician could admit to being, but he’s also supportive of his staff and acknowledges no bigotry occurred.

As one of the commenters on Edwards’s post noted, one can be quite intolerant of ideas while still being perfectly tolerant of people. That sums up the approach of a great many ranting liberals to a tee.

08.02.2007 Politics 8 Comments

Let the truth be buried and the glory of Evil Bill shine

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

More on the lopsided coverage of racist Bill Donohue’s anti-Marcotte/McEwan crusade in the media.

Would it kill CNN and MSNBC to _mention_ Donohue’s actual bigotry (the only bigotry that has been properly demonstrated in this mess) after profusely thanking him for deigning to be interviewed? Sheesh. Bloggers even do their homework for them and the network talking heads still won’t turn it in.

I repeat my sentiment from yesterday: the. game. is. fixed. Bury “uppity” women, bury bloggers, bury a liberal candidate, all in one utterly unobjective fell swoop; that seems to be the agenda. We cannot tolerate it.

Contact CNN.

Email MSNBC.

We must remind them that liberals watch their programs, too, and we have some amount of affection for the quaint notion of objectivism.

Also, while you’re at it, contact the Anti-Defamation League. I think they have every right to be upset that these networks are treating this noted Anti-Semite as an authority on fair language. With the ADL’s help, we might be able to get America to see Donohue’s true colors.

Here’s the letter I sent:

Hi ADL,

Racist Bill Donohue has had his alarming anti-Jewish statements well documented (they are summarized here) and yet, as noted in that link, CNN and MSNBC, along with the NYT, AP, ABC, CBS, and others, have been treating this man as a reasonable source — or worse, as a celebrated guest.

We can’t stand for this, can we?

Stand tall today, people. Make your voice heard. A lot of people have a lot at stake.

Update: Calling your regional Anti-Defamation League office might be a faster way to get the word out.

08.02.2007 Media hackery 2 Comments

Love Your Job, Bitch

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

Well hello! Long time no see! I’m sure nothing whatsoever has happened in my absence. I have actually been writing here goddamn near every day but fucking Marc has scrubbed the archives in fear of… ellipses and incomplete sentences. I cuss too much, apparently, and somebody had to scrub my dirty, dirty, filthy fucking mouth. Fucking dirty, filthy mouth. Do you like that?

I’m Catholic.

fap.gif

Fap is about right, I thought during our AM meeting last week, when the big cat sauntered into the Big Media Co. conference room and told us how much we have to love our jobs, lest we lose them.

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07.02.2007 Big Business, Conformity, Work, Ze Goggles! Zey Do Nothing! 13 Comments

The series of tubes have spoken…

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

…and the non-crazies hanging out in them have let it be known they stand behind Amanda and Shakes Sis 100% and hope they remain part of the campaign.

Roll call, in no particular order:
John Amato
Kagro X
Ann Friedman
Ezra Klein
Paul the Spud
Waveflux
The Heretik
Sheelzebub
McJoan
Zuzu
Liza Sabater
Matt Stoller
Richard Blair
Maha
The Carpetbagger Report
Chicago Dyke
creature
Atrios
Jessica Valenti
Liberal Avenger
Barry Deutsch
Jill Filipovic
Hugo Schwyzer
Echidne
Shark-Fu
Sara Anderson
Ilyka Damen
egalia
Media Matters
Ann Bartow
Aunt B.
Res Ipsa Loquitur
Scott Lemieux
Evan Derkacz
Glenn Greenwald

Liza’s list is even more up to date with the outpouring of support.

The artificial concern generated by the hypocritical attention-hogs overseeing the right wing noise machine was once again willingly lapped up by the mainstream media. Instapundit, Michelle “Put people in concentration camps” Malkin, and Rick Donahue have been treated as perfectly reasonable sources of inspiration for coverage from the AP, NYT, ABC, CNN, CBS, and other outlets. Strangely, though, none of the powerful liberal voices I just enumerated have been given their “fair and balanced” space to offer counterpoint in the world of old media.

The game is rigged, folks. Fortunately, this avalanche of support may be too strong for the establishment to ignore for very long. Let’s hope we get our say.

07.02.2007 Media hackery 10 Comments

We were going to conquer space, until NASA told us how much it would cost to get a flag on mars.

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

Space, the final frontier. These will be the voyages of some other country’s ship, possibly that of a country that didn’t blow its wad on a trillion dollar war back when dollars were actually worth something.

NASA may not be able to launch the space shuttle’s replacement by 2014 as promised, according to the agency’s 2008 budget request to Congress.

The president that promised us a man on Mars in our lifetimes is hoping that maybe he’ll get a ride from Virgin Galactic.

This could increase the gap between the retirement of the space shuttles in 2010 and the launch of their successors, the Orion spacecraft and Ares I rocket, forcing NASA to rely on Russian Soyuz and future commercial spacecraft to send astronauts to the International Space Station (ISS).

A NASA budget cut wouldn’t normally bother me too much – any program like that would always love more money and is used to making tough choices when it doesn’t come through. It wouldn’t even be hypocrisy if Bush hadn’t been dangling space stations, moon landings, and Mars missions in our faces since at least 2004.

Today I announce a new plan to explore space and extend a human presence across our solar system. We will begin the effort quickly, using existing programs and personnel. We’ll make steady progress — one mission, one voyage, one landing at a time.

Our first goal is to complete the International Space Station by 2010. We will finish what we have started, we will meet our obligations to our 15 international partners on this project.

Not to mention their “Wild wild West” national space policy:
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06.02.2007 A million ways to mortgage the future, Governmental Failures, Imperialism for Dummies, Moola, Politics 5 Comments

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