Comments on: But what if you can’t lick your own cone fast enough and need help to finish it before it melts?

By: Sycorax

Sycorax — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 05:57:00 +0000

Of course it’s not “her” ice cream. The woman IS the ice cream in this analogy. The customer is her future husband, who is the one these asshats think is being harmed by someone consuming his property before he gets his hands on it. The ice cream, of course, doesn’t get to choose who eats it. That would be silly.

By: Lynet

Lynet — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 22:15:08 +0000

No! I bet it’s worse than that. I bet the girl is the ice cream. Or, more to the point, the girl’s sexual purity is the ice cream, which is to be reserved only for the male customer.

Disgusting, if my impression of this little parable is correct. Yet another woman-as-object scenario.

By: junk science

junk science — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:28:40 +0000

Well, people used to think that the semen of the first man a woman had sex with would stay inside her forever, contaminating the genome of any child she had with any other man. Back then, Christianity would have had a point.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 02:37:13 +0000

Something that bothers me a lot about Christianity is this idea that sin is, essentially, a sort of actual physical substance.

It’s like, the reason we don’t like it when people lick our ice cream is that hey might have any number of diseases, and we don’t want to get them. And also slobbery ice cream probably doesn’t taste as good.

And, for this kind of Christian, it’s the same reason you shouldn’t fuck more then one guy; when you fuck, you become infected, and the sin lingers with you like germs on the ice cream cone.

You have a sort of metaphysical STD.

To me, this seems like a terribly harmful and gross way to think about right and wrong.

Of course, it’s kind of a necessary pre-requisite for original sin; if you don’t think of sin as a substance separate from actions, there can’t be such a thing as original sin.

By: junk science

junk science — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:25:11 +0000

I would never associate God with anything white and sticky. How irreverent.

By: Flamethorn

Flamethorn — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 19:30:20 +0000

No, see, it’s God’s ice cream and the girl is the spoon…

By: Flamethorn

Flamethorn — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 19:28:41 +0000

I was reading your headline too fast and the “n” in “cone” got transmogrified to an “m”…

By: Esme

Esme — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:34:40 +0000

If you ask me, they’re definitely insulting the 50s archetype of good teenage dating. I mean, really, what else are good kids going to do at the soda shop together if they’re not sharing ice cream or milk shakes? Take that away from them and they might start holding each other’s hands!!!

By: Phoenician in a time of Romans

Phoenician in a time of Romans — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:19:49 +0000

I never got to lick a girl’s ice-cream cone back in high school. I did hold them once or twice, but melting just left a sticky mess all over the car upholstery.

By: junk science

junk science — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 22:26:55 +0000

I thought if you “licked your own cone” you’d go blind and hair would grow on your palms.

You’re right. You’re not supposed to eat the ice cream at all, or let anyone else eat it. You’re just supposed to let it melt and make a sticky mess all over your hands. You’re probably not even allowed to wash them afterwards.