i also had a boss (different) put a sign on the employee message board indicating that I and another employee were too fat, and that everyone should take any food we brought in before we could eat it. That one I got fired - although amazingly enough, not for that. It was for her later calling one of the other staff members by a racial slur - in front of customers. The sad part is I doubt she would have been fired if the customers hadn’t been there.

Should I even mention the boss who accused me of not wearing a bra and wanted me to prove that I was?

Great stories, from everyone in the thread, though. Major props.

One of the gals got pissed because I wasn’t wearing the shitty uniform, so when the three of us were together one day she brought it up to the General Manager (and me).

I said, “First, the guys don’t have a uniform. Second, the women’s uniform only comes as a dress. Third, I’m wearing business attire and we’ve yet to have a negative comment from the guests.”

In the end, the three of us gals went and bought our own suits and the GM cut us checks to reimburse us.

The daughter of the owner came for a site visit one day and asked me why I wasn’t in uniform.

I told her that the women’s uniform only came in a dress and also pointed out that my male co-workers didn’t even have a uniform.

“Yes, well, I think women look much better in dresses,” she said to me.

I eyed her up and down. She was wearing a fucking pants suit.

I said, “What you just said is sexist. I’m not wearing a uniform that only comes in a dress for women, while my male co-workers do not have a uniform to even speak of, and I’m especially not going to wear it because you think I’d look better — since I’m female — in a dress.”

She conceded.

I still have the uniform, packed in a box in the basement.

I actually lasted there for a year and a half, through such loveliness as three-sided half-cubicles exactly large enough for a desk (and not for a chair or a person, which meant your ass stuck out into the aisle), raises that didn’t happen, incentive plans that turned out to be worth any serious money only if you worked yourself half to death constantly — but which, if you didn’t hit any of the incentive levels you’d eventually be fired — and the crowning glory: somebody reported a ‘bad smell, like something rotting’ in the general area of my desk, for which I was called down to ‘human resources’ and made to answer for twenty minutes or a half-hour. I mean, in what universe is is reasonable to ask someone if he has a medical problem that might make him smell bad? In what universe is it reasonable to go on from there to imagine maybe somebody’s just left some food in his desk rotting for months and *not noticed*? I finally just said ‘Look, are we done? Because I’ve got *work* to do.’ and left, consoled by the knowledge that it was at least a private humiliation.

Oh, and I didn’t even mention them telling us in so many words to vote for the bankruptcy-reform bill. (No, really. They distributed a memo, the paper copy of which I devoutly wish I’d had the wit to save, saying ‘We can’t ask you to vote for a specific measure, so here’s a page on how bankruptcy reform will make our company incredibly more profitable^W^W^W^W^W^Wsave our company from going under because all these freeloaders keep not paying their bills*, and also if bankruptcy reform doesn’t pass you personally will lose your job, and do the right thing, won’t you?’

* Freeloaders like the woman dying of cancer who called in the hope of getting a small extension to her already-overdrawn credit line in order to pay for medication. I spent an hour and a half on the phone with her, no small thing in a call center where the average call time is under three minutes, both of us crying through a big part of the call, and talked to a half-dozen credit representatives, all of whom said ‘Nope, can’t do anything, life is hard’. If I’d had more sense, I’d have walked out right then, just like with a half-dozen other things.

That place taught me pretty much everything I’ll ever need to know about seriously big corporations and the people who work in them; if I never work in one again, I’ll be happy, and I don’t even care if that means I’ll never make more than double the minimum wage, like I’m doing right now. Hell, that’s more than enough to live on, and what do I care about anything else?

It also taught me just about everything I’ll ever need to know about credit; if you’re clever and you pay attention, you can learn a hell of a lot in a job like that. I’m not talking about stupid bullshit like how to get a low rate or get away with skipping a payment, either. That’s not the lesson; the lesson is in the overwhelming institutional callousness of a business which exists to treat human beings as revenue-generating devices.

The lesson is *also* in class differences. When there’s a special phone queue specifically for rich people, and that queue is handled by specially trained representatives who have much more than the usual leeway for doing things like fee waivers and delinquency removal and credit-line increases, it’s difficult to miss the point, you know? Likewise when one of the innumerable VPs calls and you learn that, yeah, they really can abuse the phone staff with impunity. Hell, who’s going to call them on it? (It’s pretty goddam amazing to see how they use their cards, too. $25000 at a time like it’s *nothing*.)

Me: Um, yea. They really got me with the scheduling…

Boss: I don’t want you working doubles like that. That’s crazy.

(Moments later)

Boss’s Boss: Are you working at [department B of same organization] tonight?

Me: Um, yea–

Boss’s Boss: Fantastic! I’ll see you there!*

But the party never ends. From this exchange, it’s having a customer/client respond to your “hey, what can I do for you?” with “What the fucks the matter with you? Fucking Japan.” Good times.

*(She never shows up that night. I later learn that she often makes these phantom “i’ll be down there to check how things are” comments to our staff.)

Peons who actually do the fucking work: Yeah!!!!!

M: Yes, so the new level for tier 1’s will be $12.50, tier 2’s $14.50, and senior reps $18.00.

P: Yeah!!!!!!!

M: (walking out the door) Oh yeah, any of you over the current wage determination will be reassigned to that level.

P: Whaaa?!?!?

M: Well, the government told us to.

P: So we’re losing all our raises?!?!?

M: Well, only for 2 months. (picking his teeth) And one more thing, instead of 3 weeks of vacation, you’ll now have one, which you won’t get until October, and all sick leave will now be unpaid, and your health insurance costs are going up 200%. But you’re getting a raise! Now get back on the phones!!!! (door slams)

Old woman who can’t get her pills: How stupid do you have to be to get to work there anyway? You’re useless. Why am I even talking to you?