They’ll get you, and your little dog, too
Published by junk science January 19th, 2007 in Advice, Sex, We caught a troll and he was THIS DUMBThis particular weirdo troll, who claims to be a feminist and an atheist but hates feminists and really ought to give the God-thumping thing a try, is worried that librul hedonist peer pressure is forcing young girls and boys to pick their flowers before they’re ready.
95% of girls and 89% of boys agreed that “being a virgin in high school is a good thing.”
77% of sexually active teen girls, and 60% of boys, wished they had waited longer before having sex.
****
24% of sexually active girls between 15 and 19 said that their first sexual experience was voluntary but unwanted.
(Moore et al, “A Statistical Report of Adolscent Sex, Contraception, and Childrearing,” National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, March 1998, pg. 11)****
But, omigod, let’s not encourage abstinence, because that’s what conservatives do.
I suspect that when this troll’s preschool children bury their teary faces in his/her stomach, crying that they’re afraid of the dark because there are monsters under the bed, s/he lovingly strokes their hair and tells them they’re right, there are monsters under the bed, and in the closet too, just waiting to gobble up naughty little children who go into the dark alone.
Clearly, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid of the dark when you’re a small child, and forcing a terrified little creature into a dark room by himself and locking him in is abusive by any measure. But to a sex-hating conservative, children aren’t to be encouraged to face their fears, taught how to keep themselves safe while living as freely and fully as they can, and offered respectful guidance and support as they learn to trust the world and themselves. Frightened children are easier to control, after all, so why give up such a useful teaching tool as fear?
Where are the surveys telling us how many adults wish they hadn’t waited as long as they did before having sex? How many would have preferred not having their adolescent fears of growing up and learning to relate to other people as friends, lovers, and makeout partners validated by their parents and teachers? How much easier would it have been to grow up if they hadn’t been surrounded by people happy to keep them young?
Curious fact: Said troll identifies as a Randite. Big damn surprise.
A-freaking-men!
The worst part about trolls like this one: they never seem to acknowledge that a big part of the reason initial sexual experiences are so torturous is the effed-up way our society treats sex. It’s so desirable, and we’re tantalized… but no! It’s also wrong, and hurts people! And it’s dangerous… but so alluring. The forbidden treat!
Blecch.
People have shitty initial experiences because sex ed is hidden, because their parents are afraid to talk about it, because they’re been scared by adults about it. If everyone was mature about it, and sex was treated as a normal part of life, it would actually be a lot easier to have a good initial experience _and_ choose the right time to have it for yourself.
Excellent post! Except for the use of the sex indefinite ‘he’ and your ‘him or her’ ’s/he’ thing.
Read Ann Bodine’s Androcentrism in Prescriptive Grammar: Singular ‘they’, Sex-indefinite ‘he’, and ‘he or she’ [1975], and then get back to me.
Gawd, I’m such a bitch-face.
I use those same things all the time, and see them used elsewhere. What am I missing, Dykonoclast?
I like using “they,” and spit in the face of anyone who thinks otherwise, but this particular troll has been accused by Amanda of being a man, rather than a woman, as it claims, so I thought I’d be a little snitty.
People have shitty initial experiences because sex ed is hidden, because their parents are afraid to talk about it, because they’re been scared by adults about it.
And probably because you expect so much out of your highly romanticized “first time,” so that lack of education runs smack dab into those unreasonable expectations, all of which could have been avoided with a couple of key conversations.
Singular ‘they’ has been in use for CENTURIES, but its use was proscribed against by a bunch of misogynist prescriptive grammarians who say shit like, Let men take precedence in grammar, as in nature, making it very obvious that androcentric grammar is a socially motivated construction, rather than anything we should interpret as an authoritative guide on language use. Using sex indefinite ‘he’ is really obnoxious, as it further reifies the popular notion that women don’t exist.
[Especially when you've got people like former senator Hayakawa saying shit like, 'I believe it's strictly a matter between the patient and his doctor.' on the matter of abortion.]
Slutever. I still heart your punkasses.
Dykonoclast,
Apologies, but I am confused.
I totally get your point about the singular “they.” We all should probably get more comfortable with it, despite the years of grammarian flogging.
But isn’t saying “his/her” or “s/he” similarly rejecting the grammatical male domination? It definitely isn’t the same as using “he” or “his” alone, yeah?
Interesting topic… apologies if we’re hijacking your thread, js!
Junk, I’ve been wondering about oenophile for a while…
The troll calling itself “Kevin” has its facade coming apart at the seams badly today (kind of like “Oogie Boogie” in The Nightmare Before Christmas), I’m wondering how long it has left before being banned or leaving.
oenophile is an odd duck - we’ll keep watching to see if it gets any more bigger/uglier/boring…
Not to speak for Dykonoclast or anything, but really the point is that the singular “they” has been proper since before some misogynistic Parliament pricks made it an issue, and it’s far less obnoxious to write and read.
And/or giving into the obnoxious s/he type stuff is giving in to said misogynist pricks’ language hijack.
From now on, when I speak of oenophile, I shall refer to it less obnoxiously.
I won’t.
On that (threadjacking) topic, is there an accepted form for the singular gender neutral ‘themselves?’ As in, for example, “the troll calling themself (themselves?) Kevin?” My inclination is to use ‘themself,’ since it’s got the singular morphology, but then something in my brain smacks at me to use ‘themselves,’ even in the singular, because it’s the form that already exists.
I advocate the use of “theirself.”
I like the singular “they” on blogs, because blogs are so casual.