Does this make you stare at my tits? No? How about this?
Published by Kyso Kisaen January 16th, 2007 in For the ladies, Godbaggery, Shame on you for being a womanThe Rebelution, a pair of almost preternaturally attractive and well-spoken brothers who happen to be blessed with a helpful sister and a father who will be one-upping James Dobson on the family ministry tour circuit, have finally provided hundreds of teenage Christian girls with the forum to find out what they’ve always wanted to know: are you looking at my boobs?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, which is unfortunate because these guys are just overflowing with good intentions. Their survey, in which 200 something girls submitted over 300 “is it skanky when I _____” questions, which were then boiled down to something like 150 meticulous statements covering topics like bikinis, body glitter, and appropriate fabrics, complete with pictures for those guys who don’t know what a camisole is because in their minds they call it “she’s wearing that shirt that gets me all hard again.” Boys have to indicate to what degree they agree or disagree with the statements. The results will help girls help guys by finally having a clear set of instructions that will help them avoid being siren songs to sin. Unless you want to be a siren song, in which case the results will give you detailed instructions of exactly where the fine line is for getting your Christian brothers all hot and bothered against their will without overdoing the slut bit.
Even some regular Rebelution readers were a little astonished by the breadth of their sisters’ concern. Because in addition to the statements that make at least a little sense:
#2 Tube tops are immodest.
#3 Spaghetti-strap shirts and dresses are immodest.#15 Fishnet stockings are a stumbling block.
#2 Wearing a very low shirt (e.g. a shirt with a neckline that reaches the belly button) is a stumbling block, even if a modest shirt is worn underneath.
There are statements that would strike the Amish as a bit too prude:
#16 Shirts or dresses with empire waists draw too much attention to the bust. (Jane Austen, you whore -K.K.)
#28 Sweatshirts with messages across the front draw too much attention to the bust.#5 It is a stumbling block when a girl reaches into her shirt to adjust a bra strap.
#1 A girl’s physical posture and/or position can be a stumbling block.
#5 The way a girl walks can be a stumbling block.
#4 It is a stumbling block to see a girl lying down, even if she’s just hanging out on the floor or on a couch with her friends.#1 Putting lip-gloss on in front of a guy is a stumbling block.
#18 A purse with the strap diagonally across the chest draws too much attention to the bust.
These poor girls. Empire waists are cute. No one can see your boobs in a sweatshirt. If your bra strap can’t be adjusted by a quick shrug, you probably need to shorten it a bit. If you’re standing or walking like a catwalk model, stop, because that has to be as uncomfortable as it is obvious. You are allowed to lounge with your friends even if your brother’s friends aren’t mature enough to handle the unbridled sexiness that is reclining. Stop wearing the lip gloss, it’s a tool of the patriarchy. Across the chest is the best way to carry your purse if you are concerned about purse snatchers-if you’re male companions find it too titilating, have them carry it.
Don’t let them know I told you, but feminism has the solution to all of these problems and more! Call me!
Of the hundred whatever many questions, only the very last one suggests that maybe the guys maybe have a little responsibility to rein in the raging hormones a bit and not see sex in every flirty skirt pattern or piece of clothing that is more form-fitting than a burial shroud.
#4 As a guy, what is your responsibility in this area? What is your role in guarding your eyes and mind (as opposed to the women’s role of dressing modestly)?
Anyway, good work, boys. And once you’ve got all your entries and have finally figured out exactly what the girls should be wearing, let’s look at the results and have a nice long chat about historical reasons for feminine frippery, the importance of the male gaze, and the double-edged sword that is the expectation of feminine modesty for the salvation of male souls.
38 Responses to “Does this make you stare at my tits? No? How about this?”
- 1 Pingback on Jan 24th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
- 2 Pingback on Mar 25th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
- 3 Pingback on Jun 26th, 2007 at 8:28 am
maybe the guys maybe have a little responsibility to rein in the raging hormones a bit and not see sex in every flirty skirt pattern or piece of clothing that is more form-fitting than a burial shroud.
Aw, I think it’s cute they’re so horny. Maybe if they just let themselves think girls were hot instead of being encouraged to hate girls and themselves for it, they could focus on other things once in a while.
Whatever, fuck that shit, I developed extremely poor posture from being afraid to show off my boobs in high school. Now I stick them out and I can, you know, breathe better and my walking style is … healthier?
This kind of thinking either leaves girls hunched and wretched and afraid of their bodies or porn star posers. You can’t help what other people are turned on by. Period. It’s a waste of time to think about it unless you are actively trying to attract or repel someone in particular. And even then, you can’t really control it.
Having boobs is a stumbling block. Being female is a sin. They couldn’t really be more clear about it.
It’s weird, though. How many of these “good” Christian men had to go jerk off after thinking long and hard about how tempted they were by a woman daring to wear a messenger bag over her sweatshirt?
Seriously, the strap across the chest thing is a classic example of how “modesty” is just another way to make it very difficult for women to move at all. If you carry a heavy bunch of books or like me you carry a laptop frequently, the only way not to blow out your spine is the messenger bag. If you ride a bicycle, messenger bag.
Moreover, seatbelts cross between the breasts. Should young women die in car accidents before temptingly reminding men of what they already know—that we have breasts?
Truth told, one of the great things about the oversexed culture is with tits and ass everywhere, most women feel much more comfortable in our movements, since we know damn well that us bending over to pick up a piece of litter on the sidewalk isn’t going to make some dude pop a boner and worse, make it our problem. Let’s give Britney Spears a warm hand for flashing her pussy at everyone so your skirt seems a lot less scandalous!
In my experience (been through all stages of the horny male existence from age 12 to 46 - so far…), guys will look no matter what. It gets better (somewhat) with age, but…
On the other thread Kyso is talking about a swimsuit that looks almost like a wetsuit. Don’t matter, we’ll look anyway…
I’m sure guys in the land of the hijab are still looking and fantasizing about what’s underneath.
It’s just the human condition…
And of course the Christian guys, on the other hand, don’t need to take a survey because the Holy Bible already told them exactly what turns females on. According to the Bible, size matters.
Ezekiel 23:19:
“She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
A donkey? Dang, those Egyptian boys were well endowed back then…
And then Ezekial 23:20 says, “So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.”
I’m sorry…what was this post about? Lost my train of thought….
Mike’s probably right. Even I noticed that burkini or bikini, that woman in the pictures in the article was pretty hot. Modest, sure, but still attractive.
Male or female, there’s nothing you can do or wear to prevent a person who would like to see you naked from thinking “god, I’d like to see him/her naked.” 100 years ago all women kept thier boobies tethered down and out of sight and the only result of that was that things like ankles were hot.
Is there a similar site for Christian boys where we can tell them what sorts of dress and behaviors to avoid in order not to inflame our extra-sinful gay horniness?
I don’t think even Saun from the douchebag thread would disagree with your what do you call the bit at the top of the blog where you put your case .
For the continuum from nakedness to requiring women to wear neck rings to make their necks more beautiful - where would you draw the line?
Me - I like naked women, and even semi-naked women.
No really, people should dress like they want to and certainly not feel guilty about it.
shorter rebolution: females are a stumbling block/immodest
and don’t forget that which causes you to stumble is to be cut off….
….creepy bastards
Is there any way I could be distracting good Christian boys right now by typing this comment? I mean I must be doing something sexy right now. Please tell me I’m filling their little heads with impure thoughts.
Don’t make me bust out a webcam photo of my ankle, now.
Wait…yep, it worked. I can hear baby Jesus crying.
Rainbow Girl, you’ve got “girl” in your name. That’s plenty to set off many imaginations…
Shit, you’re right!
Wait…yep, it worked. I can hear baby Jesus crying.
How did you know what I call…
Oh, wait.
What’s this “stumbling block” business? Like if a guy is walking past a women putting on lip gloss, he’ll just keep staring until he trips over something? If you needed any proof that drumming it into people’s heads that sex is evil just makes them obsess about it all the more and see it everywhere, well, here it is.
And this — Ezekiel 23:19:
“She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
I don’t know which possibility is worse–that there was a woman turned on by horse farts and or that someone jerked off a horse to see how prodigious it was, and then started using that as a standard or measurement (and it caught on).
It’s no more disturbing to me than the fact that we drink cow’s milk.
Is there a similar site for Christian boys where we can tell them what sorts of dress and behaviors to avoid in order not to inflame our extra-sinful gay horniness?
No, Degen. Such a site would actually make its intended audience gayer; it would imply that boys and young men are responsible for the sexual arousal of others, instead of enjoying the right shared by all humans to regard someone else’s sexual interest as entirely his own problem.
Exposing the cream of young Christian malehood to such confusion between their role and that of women could only serve to render our virile young Godly warriors effeminate and listless, lisping and limp-wristed, not in the slightest fit for their lifelong purpose of bringing God’s Word to the world whether the world wants it or not.
Obviously, only a godless liberal subversive would offer such a suggestion. Did you know it’s actually on the flyleaf of the most recent edition of the homosexual agenda?
or that someone jerked off a horse to see how prodigious it was
Nah, Heraclitus. Horses masturbate too. Besides, it’s not exactly a revolutionary and unprecedented concept that somebody might jerk off a horse, you know? There’s probably cave paintings of it and everything.
In fact, I can’t fathom what drove Ezekiel (or God) to include, in what would otherwise seem nothing more unusual than yet another chapter-length biblical recounting of suffering and atrocity, that particular verse describing donkey cocks and horse cum, except to imagine that there must’ve been some prurient interest involved at some point. Certainly, from a religious perspective, the story would’ve been no worse off without livestock genitals, especially considering that pretty much the entire rest of the chapter is dedicated to the meticulously described gang-rape and murder of the story’s protagonists.
Of course, I’m aware the story is a metaphor for the relationship between God and Jerusalem; it’d be hard to miss, considering Ez. 20:4 (’Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem’), and also considering that the entire chapter redoles of the same ‘I beat because I love’ abusive-father paternalism that drips off every page of Exodus. What strikes me most about it are these two things: one, that rape and murder are seen as reasonable — even just — punishments for women who have and enjoy sex, and that modern humans, who have no excuse for doing so, still believe and vociferously defend it!
“Exposing the cream of young Christian malehood”
Huh, huh, huh, he said “cream”…
Huh, huh…
heh heh. he said “exposing”.
Horses masturbate too.
I always wondered how horses scratched itches. Now I have another question.
junk science, I’d love to give you a Google query that’d answer your question, but I seem to be veering into sketchier and sketchier territory with each attempt I make — no great surprise, that — and my descriptive-writing abilities don’t seem particularly up to the task at this moment, so I’ll just say that they have a preferred and quite obviously effective method, and leave it at that.
The things you learn growing up next to a farm….wait, does that make horse masturbation a “traditional value”?
#1 Putting lip-gloss on in front of a guy is a stumbling block.
True story, when I was in HS I went with a female friend to meet some guy she had met online (she was scared to go alone) at a local mall. My lips were dry, so I put on lip balm. It turned him on; he felt I needed to know, so told me.
I was SO grossed out. We escaped soon after that and I was glad I hadn’t even told him my name. Ewwwww.
Nothing much to add, but love the comments. JoeC’s blog is bookmarked as of this moment (I’d email you my compliments but didn’t find your address); Aaron, you made me snort green tea all over my keyboard!
junk science: You are soooo right about cows milk! I mean, jeezzzz, look the hell around…does ANY other mammal drink the milk from a different mammal?
I’m guessing most grownups, given the chance, wouldn’t drink their mother’s breast milk. But they have no problem drinking milk from a filthy cow with antibiotic-tainted puss scraped off the top. Would they drink milk from a rat, too?
This deeply, deeply throws my noggin into a tailspin, cos I’m really hankering for a white chocolate mocha latte right now, and my mouth is saying yes and my brain is saying no…but I’ve never let my brain get in the way of dessert.
Auntie Social: Thankya thankyavermuch! I’m enjoying all the comments, too. The comments here are hillarious and informative, just like in Sunday School.
Come to that, JoeC, what’s up with eating eggs?
JoeC: That’s what the good lord made soy milk for!
Besides, I’m pretty sure cow udders are a stumbling block to somebody.
junk science: Eating eggs? Well, first, you should always toss them back raw like Rocky, half a dozen at a sip. Second, caviar goes well sprinkled on sushi, adding a saltiness exactly that of the sea with a non-milk-based hint of butter and a distinct texture. It’s easy to resist empathy with eggs, like a stealth bomber pilot at 30,000 feet, like a god playing in a puddle with his new hurricane.
OK, I just had a sick thought…you know all the left-over eggs frozen in fertility clinics that nobody’s ever going to pick up? How long before they get that freezer-burn taste? Sorry…please forgive me, but the thought had to be born, so to speak…
The things you learn growing up next to a farm….wait, does that make horse masturbation a “traditional value”?
Probably.
Heraclitus: “What’s this “stumbling block” business?”
Stumbling blocks were logs or other obstacles set in the path of tethered work animals to keep them from moving too quickly, for example, as they trod in a circle around a turning mill; they impeded the pace of the animal by causing them to step carefully and slowly–else they would stumble.
In the Bible, Christians are admonished not to set ’stumbling blocks’ before bretheren–or potential converts–who are “on the path” to heaven. Any behavior which might cause another to question church doctrine, or their own progress–or a fellow adherent’s righteousness–was termed a stumbling block. So the boys in the survey are saying that when the girls dress in ways that trigger their lust, they are setting stumbling blocks for the boys.
1 Corinthians 8:9 might make sense in the context of the survey about dress:
“Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” [NIV]
Praise the Lord and pass her the burkha, brother!
As long as guys are sexually attracted to females, IT WILL NEVER END!
*ADJUSTS BUNNY EARS, SANDPAPER BRA AND RUBBER FISHNET STOCKINGS*
If you do something lusty and the boy lusts, you are guilty and he is guilty.
If you do something modest and the boy still lusts, only he is guilty.
Has it never occurred to any of you that perhaps the cosmetics and clothing you wear were designed to cause lust in men? It’s fairly easy to understand, should you stop groupthinking for a minute. Or do you believe breast implants are a “vital medical treatment?”
It isn’t about mind-controlling the boys sexuality, but getting the girls to be conscious of their own overt sexual behavior. Look into it.
Who decides what’s modest, Rita? Look at the results of that survey - there is no consensus about modesty among men. At least 10% of men found things like sweatshirts immodest, or moving in certain ways that most normal people would not consider overtly sexy. There wasn’t a single item on that survey, no matter how silly, that some fraction of men didn’t find to be unbearably hot. Hell, that survey created an environment where young men felt comfortable admitting that their own sisters and mothers could tempt them into thinking sexually provocative thoughts. Are women responsible for all of those men? Because their responses were given equal weight as those men who just found stripper heels and fishnet stockings too sexy.
I followed that survey pretty closely, and the one “do hard things” stance they’ve been unwilling to take so far is being very clear about where the line is; where does this lust thing actually become the guy’s problem? At what point can an otherwise modest girl look at a guy making unreasonable demands and say, no, asshole, this is your hang-up, not my problem. No one wants to define that point, because that would give the girls a concrete base to say, wait a second, this is insane, when men tell them that wearing a messenger bag strap across the chest (seat belt style, and ain’t nuthin sexier than a seat belt) is too sexy for words. They don’t want to potentially limit the slut shaming, and that’s bullshit.
“Who decides what’s modest, Rita?”
Well duh. OBVIOUSLY the only people qualified to make that judgment are MEN.
It would be best if they are men who were not allowed to be married and have absolutely no contact with women (except as an abstract concept), yet are in positions of ultimate authority over all.
If your religion does not provide you such men, then you have to make do with whatever representatives of The Patriarchy you have available.
In any case, “Do as he tells you to” is always the best plan…
Or do you believe breast implants are a “vital medical treatment?”
I imagine most or all of the regulars here would say breast implants are often a way women attempt to conform to the unreasonable standards required of them by society. So they’re not very different to the rules we’ve seen from this survey (which, I should point, out include “no bending over” and “no sitting or laying on a bed”).
Rofl
Pure Lunacy at it’s best…
Putting on lip gloss is a stumbling block.
Walk with your back arched to correct your posture opens the floodgates to a world of impure thought, etc…
Fk’s sake…
What is this? 3rd Century Jerusalem?
Women can wear whatever they please as far as I’m concerned, if it gives you an unbearable boner than EVERY guy knows how to deal with that.
Even all those Bishops under grace I’m sure.
Why should we be required to change our lifestyles and dressing habits to cater to a man’s uncontrollable desires and primitive, ape-like urges?
“Oh god, Oh god I saw some titties…. ARGHHHH THOU CAST SIN UPON ME WOMAN!!”
Grow the FK up
My breasts feel sore and heavy at times, alas I don’t demand that men carry them for me to ease my suffering.
This is so pathetic…..