McCain denies rumors of feasting on virgin blood, claims “most troops aren’t virgins”
Published by punkass marc January 12th, 2007 in McCaineryHe’s baaaaack…
In case being anti-choice, pro-fraud, anti-environment, pro-Big Oil, anti-education, pro-AIDS, anti-fiscal responsibility, and pro-suffering wasn’t pragmatically centrist enough for you, America’s shining beacon of integrity, John McCain, is publicly backing the oh-so-popular troop increase:
“I believe that together these moves will give the Iraqis and Americans the best chance of success,” said McCain, R-Ariz., a leading presidential contender for 2008.
When asked for further comment, Senator McCain paused the movie Ishtar on his Betamax player and took a sip of Crystal Pepsi before replying, “Nobody smells a winner like Johnny McCain.”
Truthfully, he should back the troop increase. After all, as pointed out by little green footballs’ favorite al-Qaeda agent, Reuters, he’s been one of the central figures behind it:
After months of calling for an increase in U.S. troops in Iraq, Republican Sen. John McCain got his wish — and the fate of his 2008 White House bid could hang in the balance.
Reuters suggests McCain’s 2008 prospects may hinge on whether the troop increase actually turns the tide in Iraq. I’m not so optimistic as to believe enough people (particularly in the MSM) will connect the dots back to McCain on this one, but it’s a pleasant thought.
Meanwhile, we should really give the Senator credit for finally living up to his previously exaggerated “maverick” billing. After all, seldom have so many political experts, military strategists, and American citizens agreed as strongly on anything as they do on the futility of this war and the irrelevance of this 16% increase in our forces.
By bucking common sense and moral decency so cavaliarly, the Senator from Arizona proved he’s made of the finest presidential timber. You don’t even have to take my word for it — take his:
Last week McCain likened himself to past U.S. presidents who had taken stands that ran counter to public opinion.
“Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Harry Truman — many other presidents have taken unpopular positions for the good of the nation,” he said.
Sure, he’s not a president, and, no, he’s never actually done anything even remotely as noble or memorable as the presidents he listed. But by putting himself in that collection of leaders, Johnny McCain proved once more that you don’t have to be smart — or even marginally self-aware — to be a maverick.
The whole thing is weird. McCain suggested raising troop levels before Bush did, gambling that if Bush didn’t do it, he could run by saying, “If he’d taken my suggestions, we would have won.” So did he just gamble wrong? Possibly.