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My boyfriend is the overnight cashier at a Infinite-sided Polyhedra rot13(X) in a crappy little town next to our own crappy little town. He’s the only employee and the place is open all night, so he’s parked behind the cash register all night, and he certainly can’t leave it when another person is in the store. He’s also naturally an attentive, sympathetic listener. As you can imagine, this combination is irresistable to insane people who wander the countryside at night, searching for someone, anyone, to listen.

A few nights ago, one of his regulars let him on…The Conspiracy.

You see, the Illuminati are trying to merge all nations under One World Government, but they have a problem: people only like to follow a leader who looks like them, and since we’re all different colors, there’s no one person to lead us all. The solution is miscegenation: once we’ve all interbred to a nice toasty brown, nothing will stop us from following the man or men of the Illuminati’s choice.

He knows this is true because he’s seen the plan implemented with his very eyes. When he worked for a trucking company in Minnesota, the company would import men from Sudan, hand them CDLs, and send them off. Now, I know what you’re thinking: hey, I wonder if men from Sudan drive cheaper than American men, especially if you don’t train them, which it kind of sounds like maybe they didn’t. But that’s what they want you to think. You’re so blinded by your petty everyday concerns (“Hey, I wonder if that truck driver’s credentials are legitimate. Perhaps I should exit the freeway now.”) that you don’t see the real evil – the Illuminati.

As you can imagine, I bring this up because Men’s News Daily’s John Lillpop is really, really, really concerned about Mexicans invading America, and maybe it’s reaching the point where the Blogwonks folks should stage an intervention.

With a stroke of his presidential pen, G. W. Bush will grant legal status to the 12-20 million illegal alien criminals who have invaded America since 1986, when wholesale amnesty was last granted. Once Bush is finished, former illegal aliens will comprise anywhere from 3-8% of the total United States population.

Nearly all of the “hardworking, goodhearted” illegal aliens that Bush will legalize will vote Democrat for the remainder of their lives, thereby effectively ending the two party system in America.

Mexicans still living in Mexico, but disenchanted with life there, will see the latest amnesty as a sure sign that invading America can be accomplished with impunity. It will be abundantly clear that America’s “conservative” president is adamant in his refusal to enforce U.S. borders and immigration laws.

Thus, scores of millions of additional illegal aliens will head north with little or no concern for U.S. borders and immigration laws.

G.W. Bush will go down in history as the president who actively campaigned for the invasion of America by foreigners from a third-world nation. He will be remembered as the president who discarded American sovereignty, rule of law, language, and culture in exchange for cheap lettuce and fruit.

The last time illegals were granted amnesty was apparently 1986, and as we all know that was the last year any Republican was ever elected to any office, and is why we are all bilingual in English and Spanish now. And Hispanic, we are all Hispanic. As you can imagine, if we were to repeat the same mistake the consequences would be even more devestating. But on the other hand, we’ll also see more Mexian-style soap operas on American networks, so it’s not like a total loss.

As John slowly descends into the madness that ends in being that guy at the gas station at 4 in the morning telling the bored clerk about world domination via Sudanese truck drivers, commenters come out of the woodwork to light his path:

Actually, there are plans to merge the USA, Mexico and Canada into one country. That’s why all of the “illegal” aliens will get “amnesty”.

It’s because they will soon be legal citizens of the NAU (north american union).

Unless the average american resists this, we will have the following in the near future of this new country:

Concentration Camps (built in the 1990’s, see CNN interview with Bill Clinton not denying that they were under construction back then).

National gun confiscation. The gov. won’t let you own firearms in Mexico. That will apply to what was once the USA.

Inflation (depreciation) of the dollar to worthlessness. It will easier to introduce the new currency, the Amero. Kiss your money goodbye.

RFID tags in cars. You will be forced to pay approx. $1,000 per year to have this in your car along with paying a toll of $ 0.10 to $ 0.50 per mile for every mile you drive. If you go even one mile over the speed limit, a private company with gov. authority will mail a ticket to you.

I don’t normally claim to speak for all Canadians, you know, since I am not from Canada, but just this once: Pfffft! Whatever. Like Canada would agree to merging with the US. Not that Mexico, or America for that matter, is jumping up and down with that proposal in their hands. But Canada? What the hell is in it for them?

There’s no link to this mysterious interview, which is too bad, because it sounds like a classic. I would pay many Ameros to see Bill Clinton interviewed by someone who thinks that the government is buildin concentration camps in preperation for…what? Another commenter outlines the most logical plans:

The solution is to take control of the democrat and republican parties. We the people need to put forth candidates to national office that represent us instead of corporate wealth….

Another possible solution is for everyone to just quit their job and quit paying taxes. No business running means no money for bribery. Have armed guards at the doorstep where you used to work and prevent them from hiring anyone. No Taxes, No Federal Government.

Another possible solution…make religion illegal. The One Worlders intend to do this anyway, lets beat them to the punch! No religion, no Zionism, no Zionism, no support for Israel. No support for Israel, no middle eastern wars for us to fight.

Peaceful solutions should be pursued, but if they come for our guns, we gotta go ballistic that day.

Quit our jobs and stop paying taxes? Great idea! You go first! I’m right behind you, I swear! And once religion is illegal, it will dissappear, just like all banned religions everywhere in history have. Because nothing makes people ditch religion faster than fear of persecution.

Too bad it’s already too late:

As far as the inevitable takeover by the Mexicans, quit kidding yourselves, it has already happened. They are not prosecuted for crimes; they don’t wear seatbelts or have to put their children in car seats.
They don’t buy insurance, or pay taxes. They work, rob or steal and bring home their entire check, and at the same time they get food stamps, welfare, free medical, free schooling, and free childcare.
Well free to them, anyway. The list goes on and on.
You are paying for it. So ask you’re self, who works for whom?
Fact is you are already slaves. You work until early august (tax freedom day) to pay taxes, taxes that are spent on everyone else, except you. And you only get to work and keep what you earn for not even 4 months.

Umm, I think you have that a bit backwards but don’t let that piece of trivia stop you from coating your keyboard in saliva spewed in righteous indignation. Remember, ignorance is strength. Now if someone can connect migrant Mexican farm labor to Atlantis and/or JFK and/or Area 51, the circle will be complete.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 14th, 2006 at 8:55 pm and is filed under Lick My Jackboots of Love, Looks like someone needs an intervention, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.