Walmart leads retailers in granting culture warriors their post-election consolation prize
Published by Kyso Kisaen November 11th, 2006 in Big Business, Fucking Holidays, WingnutsRemember the great and glorious battles of the culture war, back when America had no problems whatsoever (2001-present) and was able to focus on the issues that mattered: gays and conflating the commericial with the religious significance of major holidays? Remember the mighty battles?
On the November 28 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, host Bill O’Reilly pointed to “a very secret plan” by the “secular progressive” movement, which he said aims to “diminish Christian philosophy in the U.S.A.” It is a plan he links to his perception that many now avoid the holiday greeting “Merry Christmas.”
Bill O’Reilly played a year-old clip from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on his radio and cable shows to demonstrate the assault on Christmas by secular forces. However, he falsely told his radio listeners that the clip aired the day before and left his cable viewers with a similar misleading impression.
Well the ends have just justified the means, baby! USA! USA! JEEEEESSSUUUUSSSSSS!
That’s right, Christmas is ascendant at WalMart, where the birth of Our Savior will be treated with the reverence and respect it deserves, in the form of everyday low prices on all of the hottest home electronics and toys this season.
Whether in the aisles or on the air, online or on TV, Wal-Mart (NYSE: WMT) today announced
that ‘Christmas’ and ‘value’ will dominate its U.S. marketing and in-store initiatives throughout this year’s holiday season….“This year, more than ever, our shoppers will see and hear more about Christmas and the incredible values Wal-Mart is providing for their holiday shopping needs,” said John Fleming, executive vice president of marketing. “Our prices will allow our customers to be smart shoppers and celebrate even more.”
Seems like a fair trade to me, Bill O’Reilly. We’ll take the House, the Senate, a few state governorships, and maybe the White House in a few years. You can have 60% more of the word Christmas in the funnest fonts of the season to crumple up and use as packing material, and the fun of watching WalMart employees pick a holiday greeting at random to greet you with:
In addition, we encourage our associates at Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club to greet customers utilizing various glad tidings inclusive of, but not limited to, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah and Feliz Navidad, to name a few.
Happy Festivus, WalMart shopper, and a cheery May Day to you as well.
This really doesn’t matter to me, because a) I don’t shop at WalMart at all and b)even though I do shop at some of the other stores that are also caving into this crap, the war on Christmas never won the battle I really cared about: eliminating those motion-detecting dancing singing Santas and trees. With those things setting the bar in holiday obnoxiousness, I probably won’t even notice the Christmas-countdowns. But that’s just snooty yuppie me, let’s hear from the unwashed masses that retailers are hoping to woo with this newfound respect for Christianity.
It doesn’t matter to Stacie Walsh of Royal Oak which words Wal-Mart uses or doesn’t use. She’ll shop there anyway if the price is right.
“I have about 20 people to buy for and I don’t make enough money to think about who’s being PC,” said Walsh, a hairdresser. “If Wal-Mart sells the scarf my mom wants for cheaper, then I’ll get it at Wal-Mart.”
Way to have your finger on the pulse of America, Bill. Glad to see it was all worth it.
5 Responses to “Walmart leads retailers in granting culture warriors their post-election consolation prize”
- 1 Pingback on Nov 28th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
- 2 Pingback on Dec 7th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
They wanted ‘values’, they got ‘value for money’. So close…
If retailers want to really honor the birth of our Savior whom I worship, let them stop cashing in on it so much. They can’t even wait until after Thanksgiving any more. I’m starting to hear Christmas ads right now. I don’t care if you say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or whatever, just please have a safe holiday. Don’t drink and drive. I hope you will join us in celebrating the birth of Jesus, the Reason for the Season, but if not, enjoy yourselves anyway, and please don’t get caught up in the “Merry Christmas” wars. That is a Religious Right trap.
Well, when I was little, I cared bout all the Merry Christmas crap because I was Jewish and felt excluded. Now, I’m happy that they’re not pulling my religion into their greed. Let them say what they want, if it affects you, you need to grow up and look at what they are tryin to sell you.