Ever helpful MSN is back in the blaming game with an article called “Afraid to Commit: Young Men Want to Wait On Marriage,” based on a study by our old friend David Popenoe. From the collective data of 60 entire men, David Popenoe has once again concluded that we’re going to hell in a handbasket. This can, of course, be mostly blamed on women.
This being MSN, it had to prechew the results for us by formatting them in their patented Top Integer Number List style.
Reasons one and two: The cows have been giving away their milk for free.
Reason 1: Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past… Though men want to become friends with a woman before becoming seriously involved, casual sex, they said, is easy to come by.
Reason 2: Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying. Men think living together is a good way to test out a marriage prospect. They also view living together as less risky than marriage. At the same time, the men in the study like the convenience of having a regular sex partner. And several said they appreciate the domestic benefits of cohabitation, and the ability to share expenses, but thought marriage unnecessary at this point in life.
Reasons 3 is that those cows who are not giving it away for free are only selling it to get your debit card number and take you to the cleaners.
Reasons 4 through 10 are that men want to have their cake and eat it too and our permissive society isn’t pressuring them enough. Seriously, maybe they shouldn’t have put #5 and #6 quite so close together- it doesn’t reflect well on the guys in the survey.
Reason 5: Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises. The men savor their freedom to enjoy hobbies, late nights out and freedom from extra financial burdens. They want to postpone absorbing extra responsibilities until they are on extra-solid footing in a number of areas.
Reason 6:Men are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn’t yet appeared. A soul mate, the men said, is a woman who accepts them just as they are and won’t try to change them. The men said they don’t want to settle for second-best. In some cases, the men even said they were living with a woman who was their version of a second-best partner. These men are continuing to hunt for the perfect soul mate.
Damn you, girls, for not being perfect enough to lure these fine young men into marriage!
What do men have to say about this? Well, the survey apparently recruited heavily from Men’s News Daily readers:
“You should have an article on why divorced men will not marry again. The responses would be very interesting. For example:
* They’ve already been taken to the cleaners at least once by a prior wife.
* If a woman has kids, she really has no use for a man. She’s got the house, the BMW, the kids, and his support and alimony.
* The women of today have taken the place of the man from yesteryear. They are today what they thought men were 40 years ago.
* They run the risk of meeting a female divorce attorney.I’m not bitter, just realistic.”
_________
“It is no surprise that young men are unwilling to commit to marry when their partners are willing to live with them and provide sexual and domestic services. The old and crude adage is still true: ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’”
_________
“You forgot this reason: Getting raked over the coals for child support should divorce occur. The current system does not judge each circumstance on a case-by-case basis, and guys usually end up having their financial lives destroyed. In my opinion, men should refuse to marry until the insanity of the legal system is removed.”
Excuse me while I fail to wail and gnash my teeth in dispair over the plight of the young single man. When he grows up send him back and maybe I’ll marry him then.
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